shadowplay Posted November 15, 2009 Posted November 15, 2009 I've noticed that guys who are average looking will often reject average looking women. Likewise a guy who is just above average will only date women who are 8s or 9s. So do women always have to date down when it comes to appearance?
Devil Inside Posted November 15, 2009 Posted November 15, 2009 I've noticed that guys who are average looking will often reject average looking women. Likewise a guy who is just above average will only date women who are 8s or 9s. So do women always have to date down when it comes to appearance? I agree that you see more men with better looking women then vice versa. I read somewhere that men are attracted to the way a woman looks, and that women are attracted to the way a man behaves. If there is any truth to that , then we men have the advantage in being able to date women that are better looking then us, because they will base attraction on our behavior as well. So basically...men date "up" in looks because you women are less shallow then we are.
Author shadowplay Posted November 15, 2009 Author Posted November 15, 2009 I agree that you see more men with better looking women then vice versa. I read somewhere that men are attracted to the way a woman looks, and that women are attracted to the way a man behaves. If there is any truth to that , then we men have the advantage in being able to date women that are better looking then us, because they will base attraction on our behavior as well. So basically...men date "up" in looks because you women are less shallow then we are. I find it irritating when an average looking guy feels he's entitled to a hot woman..even if his overall personality is average as well.
Devil Inside Posted November 15, 2009 Posted November 15, 2009 I find it irritating when an average looking guy feels he's entitled to a hot woman..even if his overall personality is average as well. I find it even more irritating when a hot woman takes these guys in. Personality counts for a lot in my book.
Author shadowplay Posted November 15, 2009 Author Posted November 15, 2009 I find it even more irritating when these a hot woman takes these guys in. Personality counts for a lot in my book. I haven't seen that happening very often. How much do you value personality in a woman vs. appearance?
Devil Inside Posted November 15, 2009 Posted November 15, 2009 I haven't seen that happening very often. How much do you value personality in a woman vs. appearance? Well. It works like this for me. You have to have both. I need to be attracted to your appearance AND I need to be attracted to your personality. If both aren't there...I am not attracted. I have had women that were hot hit on me before, but they were boring or had zero brains or personality. That just does not do it for me. I also have to be honest and say if you have a great personality, and you just aren't attractive...well...it probably is not going to work on a romantic level. I am a man. The thing for me though, unlike the guys you describe int he first post. I am not expecting a woman to look a lot hotter than me. In fact, I usually am attracted to women that are probably of a similar attractiveness level to myself.
Author shadowplay Posted November 15, 2009 Author Posted November 15, 2009 Well. It works like this for me. You have to have both. I need to be attracted to your appearance AND I need to be attracted to your personality. If both aren't there...I am not attracted. I have had women that were hot hit on me before, but they were boring or had zero brains or personality. That just does not do it for me. I also have to be honest and say if you have a great personality, and you just aren't attractive...well...it probably is not going to work on a romantic level. I am a man. The thing for me though, unlike the guys you describe int he first post. I am not expecting a woman to look a lot hotter than me. In fact, I usually am attracted to women that are probably of a similar attractiveness level to myself. On a scale from 1-10 how attractive does a woman need to be for you to consider her date-able, if she also has a great personality?
Devil Inside Posted November 15, 2009 Posted November 15, 2009 On a scale from 1-10 how attractive does a woman need to be for you to consider her date-able, if she also has a great personality? This is all so subjective. I also am aware that by answering this question i will be hinting as to where I rate myself..but what the heck. I have no minimum...but I would say most women I have considered datable...personality being there where an average of a six to eight range. However I have probably dated some women on each end of the spectrum as well.
SoulSearch_CO Posted November 15, 2009 Posted November 15, 2009 So do women always have to date down when it comes to appearance? In short: No. How I know? Personal experience. But honestly, I think this whole rating system is BS. "He's a 6, she's a 9." Blah, blah, blah. Nonsense.
Author shadowplay Posted November 15, 2009 Author Posted November 15, 2009 In short: No. How I know? Personal experience. But honestly, I think this whole rating system is BS. "He's a 6, she's a 9." Blah, blah, blah. Nonsense. I think it's BS too, but this is how a lot of guys talk. I'm trying to speak their language.
euroxx Posted November 15, 2009 Posted November 15, 2009 I guess I'm one of the few guys who thinks beauty is in the eyes of the beholder? Even my most recent ex isn't a beauty queen by most standards, but I find her way more attractive than a lot of girls that would probably be higher on the "guy scale". The thought of dating "up" has never really crossed my mind
Rudderless Posted November 15, 2009 Posted November 15, 2009 I don't think this is true. Shadow, as a guy you either find the level you're comfortable with with women, i.e., you make some effort, but not too much effort, or you become that guy, you know the one whose whole life is about doing things just to try and attract the opposite sex. I think men that can attract women they like by being their natural self will look for someone well rounded, are busy having relationships, and aren't too hung up about attractiveness on some sort of "scale". Men that aren't like that seem to seek a woman that will validate them. They tend not to be very well socially adjusted, don't make friends too easy and will use anything, money, flash, cheap talk, dating manuals to get their prize. I'm of the opinion that the former outweighs the latter, at least it does in the circles I move in. Maybe because I tend to avoid the latter. I can't say that I've noticed too much of a disparity in attractiveness in the couples my friends are in.
carhill Posted November 15, 2009 Posted November 15, 2009 Shadow, you've seen pictures of myself and my stbx. Do you think I dated and married 'up'? When I look back at the women I've dated and been attracted to, I feel they are pretty much peers in the overall appearance department. I've had some pretty hot (date 'up') female friends over the years, but none that I've had that deep carnal desire for. Maybe that's nature's way of balance.
Jersey Shortie Posted November 15, 2009 Posted November 15, 2009 I think alot of men over years and years have developed and over-inflated sense of A) what a woman should look like according to media standards and B) what he "deserves" to have in looks in a woman because of media standards. I mean, just think about all the images average joes are bombarded with everyday with a certain stereotype of women. Average guys things they deserve photoshopped, breast enhanced women.
betamanlet Posted November 15, 2009 Posted November 15, 2009 I've noticed that guys who are average looking will often reject average looking women. Likewise a guy who is just above average will only date women who are 8s or 9s. So do women always have to date down when it comes to appearance? Do women date up financially?
627 Posted November 15, 2009 Posted November 15, 2009 well isn't it in human nature to try to get the best possible? there isn't exactly a number labeled on people's forheads, I'm an 8 she's a 9 not for me...
b52s Posted November 15, 2009 Posted November 15, 2009 I've noticed that guys who are average looking will often reject average looking women. Likewise a guy who is just above average will only date women who are 8s or 9s. So do women always have to date down when it comes to appearance? Actually, from I've been hearing and seeing lately, it's mostly the other way around.....men actually tend to date DOWNward, whilst women date upward. Reason being, even the average looking women are in demand by the hunks. Typically, the female gender is the gender in most demand, and they know it. Even the not so great looking women (short of maybe the obese ones), have good looking guys asking them out because some ofthese guys don't bother with the HOT babes, and just go after the average Janes, because they feel that the hot babes won't be interested (which can be the case) So they figure, "I just better ask the average looking one out, because I know I'll have a shot with her." So I think the OP has it backwards, lol.
Katie94 Posted November 15, 2009 Posted November 15, 2009 I think most guys would like to but may have to make compromises. I know that a flat chested. freckled girl like myself may not get much attraction. I have not planned to date a total creep in order to get a boyfriend. Some guys will date an ugly girl if there is a sex privilege attached. I know a fat ugly girl who has parents who own a store and she provides sex and beer to the guys and she has lots of dates. Some girls think that the kind of a car a guy drives is a plus but I do not. I do sit home a lot!
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