Lost-n-confused Posted November 15, 2009 Posted November 15, 2009 Why am I alone and still a virgin? Photos (3 months old): http://i866.photobucket.com/albums/ab224/Lost-N-Confused/beach.jpg http://i866.photobucket.com/albums/ab224/Lost-N-Confused/dance.jpg http://i866.photobucket.com/albums/ab224/Lost-N-Confused/jetski.jpg I’m 24 years old. College educated. I’m a pilot who is currently pursuing an aviation career. I’m currently working in a retail store while I get my aviation career on track. I currently live with my parents until I get that career going. I love jet skiing I own a sit-down and stand up Jet Ski. I love to workout; I hit the gym 4-5 times a week and have a very nice body. I’m about 5’ 10” and 165lbs and have that V-shape body and ripped muscles and I almost have abs… I also training at a boxing gym 3 times a week but I don’t fight cause I cant afford an eye injury and don’t want to hurt my pretty face. I love to dance. I took lessons in ballroom (waltz, tango) and rhythm dance (salsa, cha-cha). I also love fine arts, museums and performing arts. As for music I love R&B, alternative, classic rock and jazz. I kind of play the guitar too. I don’t smoke but I do drink at social occasions. I’ve dated one girl for a month before she dumped me. We got as far as a first kiss before she left me for her ex. I have a handful of friends and have never had more then a few friends at a time. I’ve never even had a true best friend. Currently I’m not happy with my social life but its a lot better then the friends I used to have and I can’t seem to find better friends. Up until a few months ago I didn’t know how attractive I really was. So I had very low confidence. I’m also a bit shy and the typical nice guy who finishes last. I have problems approching women and have only asked a few girls out and have been shot down everytime. I’m really nice and sweet and love to treat a woman like a goddess but won’t get walked on. I may come off as desperate and clingy. I’m a bit sensitive and may over react a bit but I’m also the type to realize my mistake and admit I was wrong. I’m also a virgin. Can you blame me for being desperate? So why can’t I get a date?
dreamergrl Posted November 15, 2009 Posted November 15, 2009 What have you done to put yourself out there more? Have you met anyone through dancing? Have you tried joining groups? Online dating? I wouldn't put too much emphasis on the muscles ... just my opinion... but too much can be over bearing. You are attractive though. Maybe your 'desperation' is showing through? Do you show confidence? Girls can pick up those things easily. The clingy thing might show through too. Also, you seem very mature (with your goals and what not), which is more then I can say for most of the 24 year olds I know. I think that compensates for living at home.
Johnny M Posted November 15, 2009 Posted November 15, 2009 I’m really nice and sweet and love to treat a woman like a goddess but won’t get walked on. I may come off as desperate and clingy. I’m a bit sensitive and may over react... Sounds like you're aware of your problem.
Author Lost-n-confused Posted November 15, 2009 Author Posted November 15, 2009 I was taking lessons for dancing but I have no one to go to a club with. Plus the dancing I do is more formal then what goes on in clubs. My current friends include my gym partner and his girlfriend of 5 years so they don’t care too much to go out with me. My other friend will scare the girls away. I really don’t have any other friends or female friends to go out with. I tried online dating and its sucks. Match.com is a waste. No one responds to me or even looks at my profile. If I talk to a girl I’m not attracted to I’m very confident or if talk about something I’m confident in like flying I’m very confident. If I’m talking to a girl I’m attracted and about to ask her out I get very nervous or my confidence fades quickly. I don’t feel like I should drop my standards as I believe I’m attractive. I tell everyone I got less game then Michael Jordan had with the Washington Wizards.
Jaytb Posted November 15, 2009 Posted November 15, 2009 Why am I alone and still a virgin? Photos (3 months old): http://i866.photobucket.com/albums/ab224/Lost-N-Confused/beach.jpg http://i866.photobucket.com/albums/ab224/Lost-N-Confused/dance.jpg http://i866.photobucket.com/albums/ab224/Lost-N-Confused/jetski.jpg I’m 24 years old. College educated. I’m a pilot who is currently pursuing an aviation career. I’m currently working in a retail store while I get my aviation career on track. I currently live with my parents until I get that career going. I love jet skiing I own a sit-down and stand up Jet Ski. I love to workout; I hit the gym 4-5 times a week and have a very nice body. I’m about 5’ 10” and 165lbs and have that V-shape body and ripped muscles and I almost have abs… I also training at a boxing gym 3 times a week but I don’t fight cause I cant afford an eye injury and don’t want to hurt my pretty face. I love to dance. I took lessons in ballroom (waltz, tango) and rhythm dance (salsa, cha-cha). I also love fine arts, museums and performing arts. As for music I love R&B, alternative, classic rock and jazz. I kind of play the guitar too. I don’t smoke but I do drink at social occasions. I’ve dated one girl for a month before she dumped me. We got as far as a first kiss before she left me for her ex. I have a handful of friends and have never had more then a few friends at a time. I’ve never even had a true best friend. Currently I’m not happy with my social life but its a lot better then the friends I used to have and I can’t seem to find better friends. Up until a few months ago I didn’t know how attractive I really was. So I had very low confidence. I’m also a bit shy and the typical nice guy who finishes last. I have problems approching women and have only asked a few girls out and have been shot down everytime. I’m really nice and sweet and love to treat a woman like a goddess but won’t get walked on. I may come off as desperate and clingy. I’m a bit sensitive and may over react a bit but I’m also the type to realize my mistake and admit I was wrong. I’m also a virgin. Can you blame me for being desperate? So why can’t I get a date? those two make me think you're vain . but yeah, you have to put yourself out there and ask people out. they don't just appear out of nowhere.
dreamergrl Posted November 15, 2009 Posted November 15, 2009 Doesn't seem like you've put yourself out there much. There's other sites (free ones at that) besides match. Why not join a group dance class? Single clubs (something like meetup.com) that organize events and fun things to go do. There's no rule that says you can't go out alone either. Gotta step up that confidence. You have no reason not to be, at least by appearance, and assuming you've got all those goals, I don't see a reason for no confidence. Take steps... you see an attractive girl, start with smiling at her. Then gradually move up. Remember that everyone gets rejected at some point, so don't let it get you down.
dreamergrl Posted November 15, 2009 Posted November 15, 2009 those two make me think you're vain . but yeah, you have to put yourself out there and ask people out. they don't just appear out of nowhere. I disagree. I think it is good he feels confident about something, because he's lacking it in other areas.
Jaytb Posted November 15, 2009 Posted November 15, 2009 I disagree. I think it is good he feels confident about something, because he's lacking it in other areas. When i read "pretty face" it sounded funny to me. It sounds like a joke to me so don't take my "vain" comment seriously
Thornton Posted November 15, 2009 Posted November 15, 2009 Are you a troll? The reason I ask is because if those pictures are genuinely of you, you are hot and I don't know why girls aren't falling over themselves to date you. Perhaps you need to get out a bit more and actually approach girls, work on being more confident and meet more people. Seriously... you're tall and handsome, you don't smoke, you sound like a decent and well educated guy, and you can dance... a lot of women would love to date you just for your good looks, never mind everything else! I genuinely think your problem is just lack of confidence and not meeting/dating enough people.
Author Lost-n-confused Posted November 15, 2009 Author Posted November 15, 2009 My confidence is lacking in my social skills. I’m very happy with my appearance and feel good about myself. I have a very hard time socializing in groups and get very shy in a room full of people. When I meet people for the first time I’m very timid and it takes me a while to open up. I don’t think I could ever meet a girl in club or group and ask her for her number. I don’t know why but I feel very uncomfortable. I usually have to talk to them at least once before. If you’re unconfident about your appearance you can loose weight put muscle on and cover yourself in makeup. If you don’t like yourself there’s not much you can do for yourself. I like “me” but I feel like people don’t like “me”. Even though people tell me I’m a great catch, I feel like its just my looks. I thought I would change in college… Nope. I thought going to the gym and getting in shape would change things… Nope
SoulSearch_CO Posted November 15, 2009 Posted November 15, 2009 Why am I alone and still a virgin? Photos (3 months old): http://i866.photobucket.com/albums/ab224/Lost-N-Confused/beach.jpg http://i866.photobucket.com/albums/ab224/Lost-N-Confused/dance.jpg http://i866.photobucket.com/albums/ab224/Lost-N-Confused/jetski.jpg Holy ****. Not a clue, because I'd be tempted to lick you all over. don’t want to hurt my pretty face. I hope you never say that to a chick IRL. There's something in your demeanor that you're putting out there that's scaring women off. I imagine it's the desperation/clingy/oversensitive thing.
eiithan Posted November 15, 2009 Posted November 15, 2009 Dear OP, what kind of topics you are passionate about (in terms of conversation)? What kind of woman you are looking for? What you like to do with women? Is a routine of outdoor activities important to you? You appear to be a good looking person with a variety of interests. However, sometimes shy people have a hard time displaying their good qualities to potential dates, and impatient ones move quickly. I have a friend who is a handsome guy (his male classmates agree on this) with an excellent brain, but I would never want him to be my partner because he is just terrible in the socialising department & I want someone who can be vocal when it comes to relationship problems. It has been quite a bit of challenge on my part for befriending him. It took me three weeks of saying hello and initiating conversations until he finally started to say hello to me (quite oblivious to his surroundings), and he never talks outside his interested subjects (which is precisely why we are friends, I appreciate his academic inputs, he does mine; outside that, I affectionately and secretly call him silly, haha). Suffice to say he is slower than a turtle when it comes to the expected social behaviours and I find it quite a shocker that he actually responds to my email from time to time(!). I cannot imagine this dear friend of mine having a girlfriend any time soon. However, you cannot be THAT BAD, are you? I think you need to meet someone who has similar interests that would put you on ease.
cognac Posted November 15, 2009 Posted November 15, 2009 Yeah I call troll. It's not possible for a guy with your muscles and looks to be a 24 year old virgin.
dreamergrl Posted November 15, 2009 Posted November 15, 2009 Yeah I call troll. It's not possible for a guy with your muscles and looks to be a 24 year old virgin. I think you are wrong. People can be attractive and still have confidence problems. Confidence problems cause issues when trying to get a relationship.
Author Lost-n-confused Posted November 15, 2009 Author Posted November 15, 2009 Yea I am a virgin. I hate it on one level and proud of it on another. Ill tell anyone too just not a potential girlfriend unless things would get hot and heavy. Im not a troll. Im just a lonely 24 yearold guy who has everything going for him but for some reason my inexperence is cripling my romantic life. My firend keeps telling me to get a 18 yearold girl firend otherwize im going to scare off a more mature girl. Read my other thread to find how im currenlty ruining my chances with this girl I realy like. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t209758/
cognac Posted November 15, 2009 Posted November 15, 2009 I think you are wrong. People can be attractive and still have confidence problems. Confidence problems cause issues when trying to get a relationship. Not really. I see guys with poor confidence and social problems getting girls all the time, as long as their exterior is attractive. Yes, attractive people can have confidence problems. But a guy who is a pilot, has big muscles, is of a decent height, does dances, etc is going to get laid, period, even if he is a mute or if the only thing that comes out of his mouth are farting sounds. If you are for real OP, then um, just start paying attention when women are pretending you are the funniest, most charming, and most interesting guy in the world. I really still find it hard though, because if you are physically attractive with big muscles, you dont even have to introduce yourself to women, women will go out of their way to impress you.
Author Lost-n-confused Posted November 16, 2009 Author Posted November 16, 2009 Not really. I see guys with poor confidence and social problems getting girls all the time, as long as their exterior is attractive. Yes, attractive people can have confidence problems. But a guy who is a pilot, has big muscles, is of a decent height, does dances, etc is going to get laid, period, even if he is a mute or if the only thing that comes out of his mouth are farting sounds. If you are for real OP, then um, just start paying attention when women are pretending you are the funniest, most charming, and most interesting guy in the world. I really still find it hard though, because if you are physically attractive with big muscles, you dont even have to introduce yourself to women, women will go out of their way to impress you. If what your saying was true I wouldnt be posting. I must walk around with a look on my face thats scares girls off. I only know a few females and one I dated and the other doesnt want to date me. Other then that I have no female firends or interaction. Ive had maybe two female friends my whole life. Otherwise females never approach me.
VeveCakes Posted November 16, 2009 Posted November 16, 2009 If what your saying was true I wouldnt be posting. I must walk around with a look on my face thats scares girls off. I only know a few females and one I dated and the other doesnt want to date me. Other then that I have no female firends or interaction. Ive had maybe two female friends my whole life. Otherwise females never approach me. Dude, you gotta get yourself out there. If you have no one to go out with, then go by yourself! You have lots of hobbies right? Join some groups, take up a new one. Word of advice, there are very few men who horseback ride, and there are about 5 Million women who do. The stats are very favorable on your side. Take a few lessons at a nearby stable, I guarantee you will meet A LOAD of hot babes who are interested.
Author Lost-n-confused Posted November 16, 2009 Author Posted November 16, 2009 See I did that with ballroom dancing and it failed. Yea I learned something cool but didnt make any firends or get any dates. Im not very social when I first meet someone. Once I get to know you a bit and feel comfortable I wont shutup. I still havent come out of my shell. I cant seem to get over being shy.
espec10001 Posted November 16, 2009 Posted November 16, 2009 You can't get a date because for about every 1 single attractive female, there are 50 guys after her. The numbers are not in your favor dude, if you want them gotta chase after those kitty cats like a good doggy! Hell, women don't even need men anymore. Women can earn good money, have their own home, take care of themselves, without men! What you SHOULD be looking for is an older chick with money, doesn't have to be very good looking, but she's got money. You can be her boy toy and she can buy you stuff.
nocode Posted November 16, 2009 Posted November 16, 2009 Maybe women assume you are taken or that you're a player because you're good looking and in good shape.
Author Lost-n-confused Posted November 16, 2009 Author Posted November 16, 2009 I don't want or need an older chick to take care of me. I want girl who is close in age or younger. I'm looking for someone to have a passionate and romantic relationship. I want us to look good together and share our lifes together. I don't want to be some boy toy. If your a good looking guy and clueless your screwed. Only being good looking works for girls.
VeveCakes Posted November 16, 2009 Posted November 16, 2009 See I did that with ballroom dancing and it failed. Yea I learned something cool but didnt make any firends or get any dates. Im not very social when I first meet someone. Once I get to know you a bit and feel comfortable I wont shutup. I still havent come out of my shell. I cant seem to get over being shy. I repeat : Horseback riding. Where are you located...I will send you in the right direction. You think I'm joking? I know 2 guys who ride that are around my age...do you know how many girls I know? Each of these guys have a harlem of stalkers, and I'm telling you...they aren't anything special. I mean, I'm being silly...but serious at the same time.
Ms. Joolie Posted November 16, 2009 Posted November 16, 2009 OP, I think it's your shyness that's getting you at this point. Are you shy in general or just with woman? You've got the looks and the profile... and overall it sounds like you're okay. There shouldn't be a problem with getting dates, unless your approach is wrong. After you get your approach down, learn how to date a woman. A lot of it is by trial and error. But keep it easy on yourself... have a good time, good conversation, do things you both like or take her someplace new. The next step would be learning how to romance a woman. When you're ready, and you feel it's right, go for that kiss. Take it from there. The woman will lead you along, will stop you when it's going to far and all that. You continue to date her, she has continued interest... bam! You're in a relationship. Which one of these areas are you having trouble with exactly?? Not that there's anything wrong with the trouble you are having, or you, but it might help to break it down and see where you're problem area is at.
Author Lost-n-confused Posted November 16, 2009 Author Posted November 16, 2009 I repeat : Horseback riding. Where are you located...I will send you in the right direction. You think I'm joking? I know 2 guys who ride that are around my age...do you know how many girls I know? Each of these guys have a harlem of stalkers, and I'm telling you...they aren't anything special. I mean, I'm being silly...but serious at the same time. West Palm Beach, Florida. People are big into equestrian stuff like horse jumping and polo around here.
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