JolliX Posted November 15, 2009 Posted November 15, 2009 (edited) So on top of the stabbing heart feeling I got earlier in the day because something reminded me of my ex, I now feel completely miserable again. I inadvertanly found out from someone telling me that my ex is doing great, that her roommate (ex before me) and her are getting along spectacularly (which makes me think even more that they were ****ing on the side and was the reason she dumped me), and that she's going on a mini vacation (sounded like with the roommate/ex, but I'm not sure, didn't ask more b/c I didn't want to know all ths crap I was told, but either way, sounds like she's going on the vacation to party and "get some"). This ****ty info just instantly slapped me back to being depressed. She seems to be having a great time, no remorse/guilt/feeling anything negative about dumping me over that ****ty text, and is enjoying herself so much that she is out looking for sex. Hell, I haven't thought about sex since the break up b/c I've been that stressed/angry/depressed, etc. and two weeks after being dumped, she is either going to **** a random stranger, or that damned roommate/ex of hers. I'm pissed I was told this, and it's ****ed up that one of her friends made it a point to do so (one that doesn't even talk to me, like this person was rubbing it in). I don't even know what to do. I was all pumped about going out with some friends tonight to do some social drinking and enjoy myself, but now that all just feels like a horrible idea and I just want to curl up and cry. I dn't remember feeling this ****ty from any break up before. I remember feeling depressed and lonely, but this is horrible b/c I have no interests in anything right now. The worst part, is that I know I've felt like this some while in the relationship with her, so why the hell am I taking **** so hard when I'm finally out of it? Edited November 15, 2009 by JolliX
Lamak Posted November 15, 2009 Posted November 15, 2009 I learned information similar to this yesterday and it really bothered me. At the same time it's not your problem, and if you know you were a good boyfriend you shouldn't feel guilt. It's alright to feel sad, but nothing else. If you don't want to go out with your friends, don't go, but don't let her actions effect your life. If you had an important job interview and you found she was getting engaged, what would you do? Go to the interview and live your life.
Author JolliX Posted November 15, 2009 Author Posted November 15, 2009 (edited) I wasn't perfect in the relationship, but I was very good to her. I've been working on the issues I brought to the relationship so I don't repeat them again in the future, but it was such a messed up relationship looking back on it (read some of my previous threads if you're curious, I don't want to think about it right now). I went into this relationship with great self esteem, etc. and somehow through her inability to show any kind of commitment, yet insisting I stay with her and that things would work out and be fine, I've come out the person on the bottom. My self esteem is pretty messed up right now, I have no interests in anything (especially meeting new people or sex), yet she is out partying, could care less about me, and is sleeping around just two weeks after telling me she cared about me, and then the next day turning it around and dumping me in such an immature way. This just all sucks really badly. The only thing that is keeping me going is that in the past when things seemed to have gone bad, luck/karma/whatever you want to call it has always seemed to bounce back for me in great ways. I just really needed that great way whatever it may be, and I could use it soon. I got rid of all contacts and forms of communication with her for this specific reason, and yet someone thinks it's a great idea to tell me this news anyhow (WHY?!). Edited November 15, 2009 by JolliX
lilbelle Posted November 15, 2009 Posted November 15, 2009 I'm so sorry you are having such a bad day. I know mine is coming. It does suck that they just move on and we are stuck in limbo wishing we were happy again. Don't get caught in the misery. Do like me and take this sat to pamper yourself and work on healing. If you drink your going to get sad even more. I'm lucky that our clubhouse here has all this stuff. Sauna hottub billards. I'm just chillin here by myself wishing I could move past him. Fing hate him right now.
name witheld Posted November 15, 2009 Posted November 15, 2009 Go out with friends and get to meeting new women. Doesn't have to lead anywhere, but its a great confidence booster. Lets face it, not like any of our women aren't doing exactly the same thing! They get hit on everyday....
name witheld Posted November 15, 2009 Posted November 15, 2009 If its any consolation I hit rock bottom, last week. Proper emotion, tears etc. Mental. And for no logical reason. You get good days and bad. Try and surf the bad and cruise the good.
GrayClouds Posted November 15, 2009 Posted November 15, 2009 (WHY?!). Sad fact is the one that cares the most losses the most. The good news is you did not repeat mistakes, the bad news you made new ones? I suspect that you tried so hard, making sure you did not repeat previous mistakes, that it made it easier for her not to try. If true then, after you heal, your next relationship you will fall between the those two points a be ready for the one your meant to be with.
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