She tells my friend she interested in me but not interested in me.

[Jerseyboy.]

You should of texted her.

[Lost-n-confused]

What should of I said? I figure I'd let her sweat abit over it. Maybe after a week or so she would call. Alot of people tell me not to text her. It might be to late now to respond.

 

People on the forum tell me not to contact her cause I'll be a door mat. Other people tell me to contact her cause she could be testing my interest level.

 

There is a party tomorrow in the same circle. Should I text her saying hey do you want to goto the party together?

Edited December 4, 2009 by Lost-n-confused

[dreamergrl]

What should of I said? I figure I'd let her sweat abit over it. Maybe after a week or so she would call. Alot of people tell me not to text her. It might be to late now to respond.

 

People on the forum tell me not to contact her cause I'll be a door mat. Other people tell me to contact her cause she could be testing my interest level.

 

There is a party tomorrow in the same circle. Should I text her saying hey do you want to goto the party together?

 

No no no. Don't do it.

[Yukikazi]

No no no. Don't do it.

 

What she said

[Lost-n-confused]

I haven't and won't. Now that I think about it I should of texted her saying "don't worry you didn't hurt my feelings". Would of shown that my feelings arn't hurt easly. Yet not replying isn't a bad thing either. She probably felt bad for how see acted either because she's interest and doesn't want to loose my interest or isn't interest and just doesn't want to hurt my feelings. At the very least she might be wondering what's going thou my head. I think she will call at some point.

 

If she uninterest she won't call because she does want to lead me on.

Edited December 5, 2009 by Lost-n-confused

[Ms. Joolie]

You are thinking way to much about what she may be thinking or feeling. Think more about how you are going to handle this, what YOU are going to do.

 

Also, don't expect her to take any initiative in calling/texting you. If you go all this coming week without contacting her, she'll most likely lose any interest and just let things go.

 

It's been a week now since your second date. I think she tried calling you once and texted you once since then, right? You didn't call her back or text her back, is that right?

[Lost-n-confused]

You are thinking way to much about what she may be thinking or feeling. Think more about how you are going to handle this, what YOU are going to do.

 

Also, don't expect her to take any initiative in calling/texting you. If you go all this coming week without contacting her, she'll most likely lose any interest and just let things go.

 

It's been a week now since your second date. I think she tried calling you once and texted you once since then, right? You didn't call her back or text her back, is that right?

 

She called me last Sunday and we talked for a min. Idk if you read how she made herself unavailable for Friday and when i asked if I should call her Thursday to findout she said no she would call me. This kinda felt like her don't call me about dates. Then of course I got the text later Wednesday. It's now Saturday and she hasn't called to even chat.

 

I put a lot of effort in and she's not showing any real interest. If she was interested wouldn't she of said well Fridays no good but I'm available saturday or maybe next weekend.

 

My friends, family and people on this forum agree that I should go NC and if she is interested she will call. I personally want to call Sunday and just chat and not ask her out. Just to show I'm still interest and not hurt that you made yourself unavailable. If she doesn't answer just leave a message saying hey give me call. I won't ask her out anymore unless she shows some interest and if she did how would I know if she interested in a romantic relationship.

 

I'm willing to bet everyone here will just tell me leave her alone and find someone else. You might be right but there isn't anyway to know. Not contacting her could be driving her crazy.

 

Yet again she may have not thought about me at all.

[jerbear]

I think you are starting to see the tree in the forest!

 

I'll say that once someone more interesting comes along, you'll be dropped like a lead weight. I will go on a limb and say that she might miss you but not crazy.

 

Right now everyone is having an crazy time with holiday parties, family, gifts, stress, jobs, etc...

[Lost-n-confused]

I think you are starting to see the tree in the forest!

 

I'll say that once someone more interesting comes along, you'll be dropped like a lead weight. I will go on a limb and say that she might miss you but not crazy.

 

Right now everyone is having an crazy time with holiday parties, family, gifts, stress, jobs, etc...

 

What do you mean by seeing the tree in the forest. I understand the saying but don't get what your referring too.

 

Waiting for her to call is driving me nutz. There is so much I like about her and I can't get her out of my head. The small time we spent together was so electrifying. I just want to call her so she knows I still exist. Damn it's hard. I want to believe in the worst way that we had a communcation failure and maybe she was just soo tired. I want to believe her.

[jerbear]

What do you mean by seeing the tree in the forest. I understand the saying but don't get what your referring too.

 

Waiting for her to call is driving me nutz. There is so much I like about her and I can't get her out of my head. The small time we spent together was so electrifying. I just want to call her so she knows I still exist. Damn it's hard. I want to believe in the worst way that we had a communcation failure and maybe she was just soo tired. I want to believe her.

 

What I am referring to is you are starting to see the details on what you are doing that maybe keeping her reserved.

 

She already knows you exist and you've already shown your interests. You are just overly anxious and already a lost puppy to her. She knows she has gotten you and there is no challenge in that.

 

For you, you are stuck on her and really have no other options. On the other hand, she does. She clearly knows that you'll be there for her.

 

Also it has been two dates and the relationship, or whatever you call it, is short. Both parties can still change their minds without having invested to many resources.

[Yukikazi]

Girls are not attracted to needy desperate clingy guys that act like doormats.

[jerbear]

Girls are not attracted to needy desperate clingy guys that act like doormats.

 

True to that!

[Lost-n-confused]

I haven't really been clingy or despret. I would caller her once a week to ask her out and until then I wouldn't talk to her. She would call me once a week to talk. I would never text her. Sure I showed that I liked her and would tell her I'd call her later on in the week.

 

What I'm affraid of is she might like me and now I'm just going to go NC and she might think "gez I turn him down once and he's gone, guess he wasn't that interested". At the same rate if she is interest she should call me.

 

I'm going to the gym tonight and there is a good chance I'll run into her. I don't know what I will do. Avoid her? Walk up to her and say hi and keep it short I guess.

[Yukikazi]

What I'm affraid of is she might like me and now I'm just going to go NC and she might think "gez I turn him down once and he's gone, guess he wasn't that interested". At the same rate if she is interest she should call me.

 

 

If she likes you she wont just give up.. this is why you need to be looking at other girls so she sees she must snag you or loose you

[Ms. Joolie]

If you see her at the gym, just be cool and casual. Don't avoid her unless you really want to send a bad message. You don't want to do that, I'm sure.

 

Say hi if you cross paths. Stop and talk to her if you want, but keep it light..... don't act hurt or desperate, and don't ask her out on a date.

 

You're there to work out, not for her. So get your work out done, and just keep it open with you two. See if she approaches you, avoids you, or what. Just don't give her the cold shoulder because your ego is hurt that she hasn't paid enought attention to you.

 

Unless you're done with her altogether.

 

How old is she anyway?

[dreamergrl]

I haven't and won't. Now that I think about it I should of texted her saying "don't worry you didn't hurt my feelings". Would of shown that my feelings arn't hurt easly. Yet not replying isn't a bad thing either. She probably felt bad for how see acted either because she's interest and doesn't want to loose my interest or isn't interest and just doesn't want to hurt my feelings. At the very least she might be wondering what's going thou my head. I think she will call at some point.

 

If she uninterest she won't call because she does want to lead me on.

 

Why would you text her saying "Don't worry, you didn't hurt my feelings"?

 

Who cares if she calls. She has you on the backburner until she's bored with whatever she's got going on.

 

She called me last Sunday and we talked for a min. Idk if you read how she made herself unavailable for Friday and when i asked if I should call her Thursday to findout she said no she would call me. This kinda felt like her don't call me about dates. Then of course I got the text later Wednesday. It's now Saturday and she hasn't called to even chat.

 

If she said don't call her.. then don't call her.

 

I put a lot of effort in and she's not showing any real interest. If she was interested wouldn't she of said well Fridays no good but I'm available saturday or maybe next weekend.

 

Bingo.

 

My friends, family and people on this forum agree that I should go NC and if she is interested she will call. I personally want to call Sunday and just chat and not ask her out. Just to show I'm still interest and not hurt that you made yourself unavailable. If she doesn't answer just leave a message saying hey give me call. I won't ask her out anymore unless she shows some interest and if she did how would I know if she interested in a romantic relationship.

 

Why are you so interested in a girl who has no interest in you? She freaking knows your interested. And you are getting clingy, needy, and desperate.

 

I'm willing to bet everyone here will just tell me leave her alone and find someone else. You might be right but there isn't anyway to know. Not contacting her could be driving her crazy.

 

Yet again she may have not thought about me at all.

 

Move on.

 

I haven't really been clingy or despret. I would caller her once a week to ask her out and until then I wouldn't talk to her. She would call me once a week to talk. I would never text her. Sure I showed that I liked her and would tell her I'd call her later on in the week.

 

What I'm affraid of is she might like me and now I'm just going to go NC and she might think "gez I turn him down once and he's gone, guess he wasn't that interested". At the same rate if she is interest she should call me.

 

If she likes you, you'll hear from her. Although, I believe when she does call it's because she's got nothing going on. You are not her focus, and silly little games wont change that.

 

I'm going to the gym tonight and there is a good chance I'll run into her. I don't know what I will do. Avoid her? Walk up to her and say hi and keep it short I guess.

 

Are you trying to run into her? Not to many posts ago, you said you were going to a party tonight and she'd be there.

[Lost-n-confused]

First to answers a few questions. She just turned 22. No I'm not trying to run into her, I'm not a stalker. I might see her at a party tonight but most likely she wont show due to homework.

 

I actually have been doing a great job of hiding all the clingy and desperation from her. LS is my place to vent. Without LS I would of exposed myself a long time ago. After she rejected my date and told me she would call me. My tone probably changed to something that sounded upset or let down. I cant remember what I said but it was nothing bad. Something like "ok talk to you later". Then she texted me to which I never responded.

 

Ive said this before she is super busy. She works 40+ hours and is going to school full time and next week is finals for her. So her workload is huge. She told me she would have more time soon.

 

I'm definitely on her back burner right now. School and work are her priority right now and the text about being sorry about being standoffish I think was meant to keep me hanging on. She usually calls me on Sundays so I'm still hoping to hear from her tomorrow at some point. If she calls it means little, its what she say that will be important.

 

If she doesn't call me, I guess she doesn't care about me one iota. I maybe extremely inexperienced but I'm not completely stupid. If she cared one bit and wanted me to stick around an wait till shes free she would at least call me just to talk and make little notions that soon she will be free and mention doing things with me like she has in the past. Really I want to give her till next Wednesday that will be 7 days after our last call. If she doesn't call me by then I will sign her off and shes off the back burner and into the waste basket. Even my mom said things cant be single sided and that I have to wait to see if she calls.

 

I'm still actively pursing other girls online. I'm currently communicating with 3 girls on 3 different dating sites and I'm mailing new people everyday. Yet nothing looks good yet. I made some good eye contact with some girls today at the gym and as I left the two girls smiled from their car and I smiled back. Gave me a little boost.

 

Yea I'm still hung up on this girl. If I had to make a list of quality's I like in women that are not based on looks she would fill most of them. Its hard to find a girl who's in to fitness, diet, outdoor activities, who's adventurous, HATES sports, who is a bit masculine but doesn't look it at all and can be completely girlish at the same time. Something turns me on about a girl who can lift weights like a man but still appear to be complete feminine. Ive seen this girl dead lift 155 lbs and watched her curl 50 lbs like it was nothing and shes only weights about 130lbs. She shows her masculinity in the gym but when she gets dressed up to go out she quite the doll. I could go on all night about why I like this girl.

Edited December 6, 2009 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[The Way I Am]

What I'm affraid of is she might like me and now I'm just going to go NC and she might think "gez I turn him down once and he's gone, guess he wasn't that interested". At the same rate if she is interest she should call me.

 

She told you "don't call me, I'll call you" and then she didn't. If she really expects you to call her after telling you that, she expects a guy who can read minds and jump through hoops. You seem to be ignoring that detail so you can convince yourself that it's a good idea to call.

 

I'm going to the gym tonight and there is a good chance I'll run into her. I don't know what I will do. Avoid her? Walk up to her and say hi and keep it short I guess.

Talk to her if she approaches you, but don't approach her. Just chat with her the same way you would any friend you ran into.

 

She told me she would have more time soon.

No, she didn't. She told you school is ending soon, and you read into that to mean she was telling you she'd have more time for you soon. You have to remember to keep actual facts and things you've read into straight. She could have meant nothing by it at all other than "school is ending soon".

 

I'm still actively pursing other girls online. I'm currently communicating with 3 girls on 3 different dating sites and I'm mailing new people everyday. Yet nothing looks good yet. I made some good eye contact with some girls today at the gym and as I left the two girls smiled from their car and I smiled back. Gave me a little boost.

Glad to hear that.

 

Any how took a new picture of myself for dating sites.

 

Nooo. Not shirtless. Ok. I'm going to start a topic about this, because I'm wondering if other women are as turned off by shirtless photos on dating sites as I am.

Edited December 6, 2009 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[Tony]

I think this is enough information for a thread that started over three weeks ago seeking current type information. If the OP has new problems, let's start a new thread.