JolliX Posted November 14, 2009 Posted November 14, 2009 Overall, I am doing better, today I was hit with that feeling of instant misery and hurt. Something reminded me of my ex, and I just instantly lost my breathe, my heart started pounding, and I felt like crap all over again just like being dumped just happened. It's miserable, and I don't know why I just suddenly felt like that. Of course, that feeling was soon followed by anger again, as I feel like I'm the miserable one, and she must be having a great time doing whatever she is doing, dating, or being with her previous ex (I hate that bastard too). God I hate getting hit with that feeling right when I was starting to feel good again.
rp123 Posted November 14, 2009 Posted November 14, 2009 I can totally empathize with your description. Your feel like your doing ok, and improving and making progress, and then WHAMMMM! A huge surge of painful emotion makes you feel dreadful... After 60+ days of NC I am staggered at how intense these emotions remain. For a moment you back to the beginning thinking that you will never recover. And then, slowly it passes.... It really is such a bereavment......
Author JolliX Posted November 14, 2009 Author Posted November 14, 2009 Bereavment is a very good way to put it. It does feel very similar to how I feel sometimes when I think about my grandparents having passed away a while ago (except I don't feel anger towards them).
carhill Posted November 14, 2009 Posted November 14, 2009 Just imagine those people who will never feel your pain simply because they lack the capacity to love and bond with another human. That's the true tragedy, IMO. What a life bereft of any depth.... It will get better and you will be glad you experienced it, though that sounds wrong now.
rp123 Posted November 14, 2009 Posted November 14, 2009 Just imagine those people who will never feel your pain simply because they lack the capacity to love and bond with another human. That's the true tragedy, IMO. What a life bereft of any depth.... It will get better and you will be glad you experienced it, though that sounds wrong now. What a profound way of looking at suffering. The greater the capacity to love the greater the capacity to suffer. Personally I've grown so much 'through' my pain, I'll never look at life in the same light again........ I'm curious to discover what happens to a heart that has been so utterly broken.....
teanoranges Posted November 14, 2009 Posted November 14, 2009 I try to liken the pain and stabbing feeling in my heart to my hearts way of healing and letting go of all the hurt. sometimes your body hurts you in order to heal... think of a fever. Gets your temperature to a point where it can kill you, just so it can kill the bacteria. Our hearts are killing off the feeling of them (or trying to).
nobleguy Posted November 15, 2009 Posted November 15, 2009 Overall, I am doing better, today I was hit with that feeling of instant misery and hurt. I had a good day and was at the bar talking with friends, and I just got a few moments to think to myself during a conversation and it hit me. Thankfully it does seem to be lasting for less time now...
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