I feel sad and lonely. the person that I loved is gone and I will never comeback.

[rafael]

its been more than a year since last time I saw my ex gf. We had a great relationship. she was the perfect girl for me. but her mother didnt like me very much either her brother. I never had a fight with her, and let me tell you. all the time I dated her I was happy. She was my reason to wake up everyday with a big smile. I have dated other girls befoere but I never felt the way with the other girls. Even though its been a year since we brokeup.. there are some nights when I get really sad nd deppresss.. and I start thinking of her. We never actually brokeup her mother made her brakeup with me.. but she told me so.. so I told her.. to tell her mom that we were over but we still seing eachother until one day her mother foundout.. Now I just miss her a lot.. somenights I dream with her and I think that everything is back to normal and we are together again.. but everytime I awake up.. I cry and feel like **** cuz she is not with me.. I feel like im a idiot.. her mother never like me.. and the big reason is because iM not greek and because she doesnt have balls to tell her mom that she wants to do soemthing or be with someone.. she was always asking her mom for thing.. which is good but its kinda annoying after a while.. but I still miss her.. i have try to be with other ladies.. but it didnt workout.. plus I feel that.. why bother to work hard to be with someone if in the end.. you will get ur heart broken.. and u will only hget hurt.. I try to be possitive.. but its always the same end.. me= sadness.. some people say that love = happiness. and happiness =love.. but it sucks to have none.. Im a stupid kid. whose life sucks.. I miss my ex.. I do.. but because of that.. I feel that Im unable to love again.. I dont care about anything nomore.. I used to write poems.. but since she is gone.. I cannot write anything...its like a part of me its gone.. and It hurts a lot and I start crying everytime I see her mother or brother.. and I just want to go to her college and find her.. but im too afraid to do so.. cuz I dont want to go to jail.. her mother hates me.. and Im a redicules excuse of man.. I cannot get what I want.. Im useless.. I felt like I wasnt able to protect what I love..there were days when she used to run to me and she would just cry.. on my shoulder.. and hurts DAMNMM.. I was suppose to make her feel happy and protect her.. but I hated that i was the reason why she was crying so much.. and all because.. her mother always thought that I was too good to be truth.. she was always trying to find something bad about me.. .. I hate this.. Im so useless.. you guys have no idea how much it hurts to see the person u love.. crying and u cannot do **** to stop it.. or protect her.. I think thats why I cannot get over her.. I admit that there were time when she was alittle weird..with me.. and that there were times when I thought she didnt love me at all.. but I was wrong.. she was cold.. but that didnt mean that she didnt love me.. I dont know what to do.. all I know is that Im lonely and I dont like it.. I want to be able to love and be loved again.. I want to be happy.. i cannot even kill myself.. Im ever crying right now..

[Ronni_W]

rafael,

I'm sorry that you're in so much pain. It really sucks when family 'faith, culture and tradition' get in the way; it is unfair and you do not deserve to suffer because of it...but it doesn't mean that YOU are "useless".

 

It sounds as if you have given away all your personal power to your ex's mother's very limited beliefs and ideas about what is "acceptable" for her children. That is you doing it to yourself. It is 100% up to you, and within your own power, to shake the cobwebs from your mind, get up, dust yourself off...and just get back in the game of life.

 

We ALL have suffered losses, both small and big. It is a part of life. We DO know what it feels like. And we also know that healing and recovery is up to each individual. You absolutely do have the right and free will to take back your power...or to stay stuck as a sad victim. It's a choice that you have to make by yourself, for your Self.

 

Your future happiness and success depends on you doing something different than you have been doing. There are self-help books you can check at the library, or you could consider getting some professional assistance from a counselor or therapist.

 

Sending hugs and healing.