Maybeitsjustme Posted November 14, 2009 Posted November 14, 2009 Well my g/f is acting even more suspicious since i mentioned a few things to her. What I am noticing is the measure of inconsistancies in her stories She mentioned previously that she had never looked at a particular dating website (that i found in her history on one of the few occasions that i managed to look at her laptop) when i said well thats strange because it was in your history, she said oh yeah i may have just looked at it and a few others?!. when i asked what ones she said oh no only that one that you already know about. I looked at her history (only the 2nd time i've ever looked at her laptop) and sure eniugh she had looked at the site again (two days previously) BUT had deleted ALL of here history at the beginning of the week, This really up set me and I said i ant to know the whole truth she replied she didit because she didnt like being spied on! i explained that if you have nothing to hide then that shouldnt be an issue and as her partner i had only become suspicion due to tha large number of things that just didnt add up to me this is so obviously a exercise to hide evidence. Im finding it hard to live withsomeone who is so set on having her privacy in a form that just does nothing other than to make her look very sneeky (when i first asked her about a word that sounded like a user name for a website she past if of as a password for a work application then a few days later me its a yahoo user name ?! why not tell me that from the off ?! Sorry this sounds like a totally ramblings but i am really begining to doubt my own morals in looking for stuff however i have never done it before its only been the fact that i litterally didstumble across a few things that triggered my response and instead of finding nothing i found more stuff!
Gabriele Posted November 14, 2009 Posted November 14, 2009 If she had NOTHING to hide.......she would not need PRIVACY.... I know I have nothing to hide from H, and would be happy to have him look through all my emails....history..what ever. There is just not need for secrecy. And if it makes you uncomfortable you should set some boundaries, tell her that it's not appropriate and you want access to everything. Trust your gut...... I know years ago I gave the benefit of the doubt, I had not reason not to trust.....stupid me!
Blindsidedagainalive Posted November 14, 2009 Posted November 14, 2009 You already know that. Now, what to do about it. I don't know your relationship details. Typically, if you want to discover if someone is cheating, you DON'T tell them you suspect. You turn into a PI and gather evidence. However, you have already told her you are suspicious, so that may not be effective now. Perhaps a long open discussion about the state of your relationship. IMHO, if she is sneaking now, I wouldn't trust her down the road. She has no problem doing this right under your nose. She will likely continue....cheating is more about the cheater.
ADF Posted November 15, 2009 Posted November 15, 2009 I am always appalled at how people no longer have any respect for each other's privacy. They think nothing of snooping through each other's private things to get information, and aren't surprised when others show them a similar lack of respect. How sad. Well, I guess that's what happens when kids are brought up thinking random drug tests and random locker searches are okay. Look, if you felt suspicious enough to snoop, you should have asked her directly. If she couldn't give you a believable story, you should have walked. She had every right to be angry at you. I have nothing to hide, but that doesn't give someone the right to go through my stuff without permission. She should dump you just for doing that.
Author Maybeitsjustme Posted November 15, 2009 Author Posted November 15, 2009 ADF Couldnt agree more, and I HAVE never SNOOPED in nearly 10 years together but just kinda stumbled across some info and noticed stories not tying up or changing and asked a few questions and they didnt line up so only then did a little digging and found a bunch of coincidences! As and reasons given just didnt convience me may be its just gut feel and I just plain got it wrong but something telss me i havent. We had a really bad time 6 months ago and I think she had a fling or a short affiar AND im trying to just parkit but its hard.
Bryanp Posted November 15, 2009 Posted November 15, 2009 Why would just try to park it? If she was screwing around on you then she has put your health at risk for STD's and disrespected totally your relationship.
scatterd Posted November 15, 2009 Posted November 15, 2009 I have nothing to hide my mate does not have a reason not to trust me but if he did he welcomed to look through my stuff.We share all so im sorry that she was hiding anything.good luck
New Again Posted November 15, 2009 Posted November 15, 2009 I am always appalled at how people no longer have any respect for each other's privacy. They think nothing of snooping through each other's private things to get information, and aren't surprised when others show them a similar lack of respect. How sad. Well, I guess that's what happens when kids are brought up thinking random drug tests and random locker searches are okay. Look, if you felt suspicious enough to snoop, you should have asked her directly. If she couldn't give you a believable story, you should have walked. She had every right to be angry at you. I have nothing to hide, but that doesn't give someone the right to go through my stuff without permission. She should dump you just for doing that. X2 If my bf came to me being like "hey I was checking up on you via your internet browser history" I'd start deleting it too, whether or not I was doing anything sneaky or wrong. That said, I also think if you feel like you have to snoop, you don't trust her, probably you should just break up with her. That's no way to live.
jeepchick Posted November 15, 2009 Posted November 15, 2009 If she is in a relationship with you, why is she looking at dating websites? You should bail.
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