PowerNick Posted December 11, 2003 Share Posted December 11, 2003 My girlfriend and I started going out 4 years ago, when we were in highschool. She's younger than I am but we continued dating after I graduated and went to college (We had been together for 2 years at this point). After the first semester that I was away I got caught up in the college life and we grew apart and eventually broke up around Christmas. We were apart for 7 or 8 months and dated other people but then we both decided that we wanted to get back together so we did last year around Thanksgiving. Even though we were in a long distance relationship our relationship was amazing and it stayed that way for about 10 months......then she went away to college and made the distance between us even further. We started out fine but recently it has been getting hard because our majors are both so demanding. We both love each other but recently we have had an added problem. When we get together our physical relationship is almost nonexistant. She says that she is not sexually attracted to me (we've never had sex but we mess around) and now she has trouble even kissing me. I honestly think it is because of her stressed out school life because she is always staying up late studying and always busy with some school related event. I need advice, we love each other and have been together for almost 4 years....it cant be all for not Link to post Share on other sites
Arabess Posted December 11, 2003 Share Posted December 11, 2003 Originally posted by PowerNick I need advice, we love each other and have been together for almost 4 years....it cant be all for not It may not be the case in your particular relationship....but ANY relationship most certainly CAN 'be all for not'. There is no guarantee at any time two people won't take separate paths and grow away from each other. Married couples even face this delimma and they aren't MILES apart. It's very difficult to find the words to tell someone you don't feel the relationship is right for you anymore. Sometimes you DO use phrases like "I need some space"...."It isn't you - it's me" or "It doesn't feel right kissing you anymore.". You may have to read between the lines and back off. If you are incorrect, she will let you know by her response....whatever that may be. Going to college IS very stressful. It's also a time when young people socialize. Being tied down to someone miles away.....may not work for most people. It doesn't mean what you had together wasn't special or that you might not join up later down the road. What it does mean is that for NOW....you both may need the space to explore your options. Link to post Share on other sites
JOHNNYWINNER Posted December 12, 2003 Share Posted December 12, 2003 She needs to appreciate you.Maybe, you need a get away for a week. TAKE TIME TO SHOW HER YOU LOVE HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !Women need romance and fun to feel special. She is feeling bored. Give her a gift and send her a card saying you miss her and think of her. --__{SHE IS IN THE HUMDRUM OF SCHOOL AND YOU NEED TO LIFT HER UP!.}_ She will love you for it. GET HAPPY AND BE HAPPY AND MAKE HER SMILE AND LAUGH.OK.I HOPE IT HELPS. My story is love and relationships./read it and give me your opinion if you like. thanks, johnnywinner Link to post Share on other sites
mintjulep Posted December 13, 2003 Share Posted December 13, 2003 It's true that you need to take time to show her you love her, and distance magnifies that, because it's hard to show that you love someone when there is physical distance between the two of you - it's even more different now that you two are farther apart. Like Arabess said, though, It can end up being all for naught. That doesn't mean you need to give up on the relationship, but if it's run its course, maybe just back off for a while. That is, if you've tried your hardest to make her feel loved and wanted without being a bother or a burden, just let her chill. She'll come back to you if it was meant to be, and maybe seeing other people would be good for the two of you again. In my experience, when my guy friend's girlfriends from 'back home' acted like this it was because they were feeling guilty about wanting to hang out with other people - girl friends as well as new guys. When you went to college you wanted to see other people, or you wouldn't have broken up with her. You should try to respect that she may be feeling this way now that she is meeting new people and doing new things. Just remember your own first year in school. Seriously, the best thing would be to bow out gracefully. Like I said, if she loves you, she'll come back. Link to post Share on other sites
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