kel30 Posted November 14, 2009 Posted November 14, 2009 Hello everyone! I'll try to keep the story short.. I have dated this guy for 2 years back in 2005/06. Then, all of a sudden, he stopped calling, he pulled the disappearing act...I had a feeling it was over since he was in that "party phase" that most of us go through in life and did not want to commit. Still, I would have liked to have a "normal breakup" but it did not happen...So, as much as it hurt me, I did not contact him, I just kept it to myself and tried to get over it over the years. Last year, he contacted me through text message, asking how I was doing. I just answered friendly "I'm doing good, thanks" and he went on and on about how sorry he was for not ending things the right way, and saying that blah blah that everyone deserves to be happy including myself. Since it sounded like an apology and nothing else, I moved on and let it go. I actually asked him not to contact me anymore. (even though to this day I do have feelings for this guy...I have dated other people but he was the one I clicked with..too bad he didn't feel the same) Ok, so....yesterday, out of nowhere, I received an email from him saying "Not sure if this is still your email, but I hope you are doing well, I think about you from time to time." What does this mean? As far as I know, this guy has a girlfriend so WHY is he emailing me? I just don't understand this email...can any guys shed a light here please? Thank you and all the best!!!
kickintheaz Posted November 14, 2009 Posted November 14, 2009 possibly some guilt on his behalf? maybe he broke up with new g/f and is on some 12 stepper to apologise to all the girls he disrespected and disappeared on.. even though it was dating for 2 yrs, he's still an a/hole for walking out like that.. I wouldn't take it as anything unless he says something actually substantial.. and tbh honest, even if he DID say something substantial, doesn't sound like he's worth anything except for a mild stretch of the hand towards the delete button..
ADF Posted November 14, 2009 Posted November 14, 2009 Hello everyone! I'll try to keep the story short.. I have dated this guy for 2 years back in 2005/06. Then, all of a sudden, he stopped calling, he pulled the disappearing act...I had a feeling it was over since he was in that "party phase" that most of us go through in life and did not want to commit. Still, I would have liked to have a "normal breakup" but it did not happen...So, as much as it hurt me, I did not contact him, I just kept it to myself and tried to get over it over the years. Last year, he contacted me through text message, asking how I was doing. I just answered friendly "I'm doing good, thanks" and he went on and on about how sorry he was for not ending things the right way, and saying that blah blah that everyone deserves to be happy including myself. Since it sounded like an apology and nothing else, I moved on and let it go. I actually asked him not to contact me anymore. (even though to this day I do have feelings for this guy...I have dated other people but he was the one I clicked with..too bad he didn't feel the same) Ok, so....yesterday, out of nowhere, I received an email from him saying "Not sure if this is still your email, but I hope you are doing well, I think about you from time to time." What does this mean? As far as I know, this guy has a girlfriend so WHY is he emailing me? I just don't understand this email...can any guys shed a light here please? Thank you and all the best!!! My guess: he wants you as a back up f___ and is trying to stay in your good graces. In my opinion, the disappearing act is the most contemptible thing a person can do. I wouldn't give this guy the time of day.
Ody Posted November 14, 2009 Posted November 14, 2009 (edited) I just don't understand this email...can any guys shed a light here please? Thank you and all the best!!! Probably lonely or looking for sex. Maybe his well is running dry at the moment with the current GF and he wants to have a backup plan. Alternately, something happened that made him belatedly feel guilty for being a douche. Not as likely, but possible. Way too late for him to reasonably expect you to talk to him about it though. You made a good and admirable decision when you asked him not to contact you again. Stick with it and good for you! Edited November 14, 2009 by Ody
Author kel30 Posted November 14, 2009 Author Posted November 14, 2009 Yeah, definitely guilt I guess. Thanks for the input anyway! I guess those stories where people get back together and apologize are only in movies! lol
carhill Posted November 14, 2009 Posted November 14, 2009 Well, here's my take. I would accept his words as meaningful. If you and he were young when he disappeared, he may have grown in the interim. He has a girlfriend (you think). Ask him if he does. 'Do you have a girlfriend right now?' Since you apparently still have latent feelings for him, you can't be a true friend to and supporter of his relationship, at least currently. However, let's say he doesn't have a girlfriend, proven in real life by future contacts. What do you want and how does it align with what you have heard from him so far? I know, when I was young, everyone's actions were black and white and carried a life sentence of consequences. The good news is, as one ages, experience and one's own life path change one's perspective on things. More than just the hair turns gray, if you know what I mean
Author kel30 Posted November 14, 2009 Author Posted November 14, 2009 That's true too Carhill! It's a big difference from when you are 26 to 30! I just don't know if I respond or leave it alone. I wouldn't even know what to say! Have a great weekend all!
LucreziaBorgia Posted November 14, 2009 Posted November 14, 2009 Honestly, unless the guy is on my doorstep and making more effort than an easy email or text - I'd politely ignore it. Second chances require much more effort that that. Or, at the very least they should.
carhill Posted November 14, 2009 Posted November 14, 2009 OP, does he know where your doorstep is? If so, I would agree with LB. Face to face is where it's it for this kind of stuff. If you get further contact from him, suggest it, without engaging him. An example: 'I've moved; I'm at xxxx.' Nothing further. Up to him what he does with that...
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