wheelwright Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 So if unhappy MM goes back to work on his M, and then manages to get something they feel is worth working on, how do you feel? Perhaps you as OW were a catalyst. Do you feel good because you have helped the man you love? Or S*** because you lost him? Or like some nightmare pawn in someone else's karma? Or?
jennie-jennie Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 Me altruistic when it comes to romantic love? Forget about it!
skylarblue Posted November 14, 2009 Posted November 14, 2009 If the MM starts “working” on his M because he got busted, the OW definitely was the catalyst. Do I feel like I would have helped in anyway? Not at all. I think if my MM ended it, I would kinda feel like a pawn even though I already know I’m using him and he’s using me. I’d have to be the one to end it. I have to feel like I rejected him, not the other way around. One thing I wouldn’t do. I wouldn’t continue to see my MM if he and W was in MC.
hopeless4u Posted November 14, 2009 Posted November 14, 2009 My MM said there were problems from very early on but he stayed for the children and once they had grown up(24yrs later!) he realised that they were the glue that had held the marriage together. He says that he didn't realise he could feel as strongly about someone as he does me and that he doesn't think he was ever 'in love' with his wife although he does love her. He married her at 19 because she fell pregnant and it was the 'right thing to do'. They went to MC in the 1st 5yrs of their marriage and again he says he stayed because of family pressure and spent the next 20yrs working til 8-9 oclock at night to compensate.
MizFit Posted November 14, 2009 Posted November 14, 2009 I feel neutral about it...I had nothing to do with the relationship between them. He cheated and got caught. They've made the decision to work on it and give it a go. It's something he should have done before seeking an A, but he didn't...I don't think he'd have taken it seriously. I think he needed the jolt of being caught...he was never going to walk away, but he wasn't going to make it better-he would have made no changes if he hadn't been caught.
Recommended Posts