ItsAllGoodAgain Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 This may sound a little "sackless" but I'm finding it a little difficult to be intimate with the girl I'm currently dating. I mean we kiss and flirt no problem but when I think of sex I began to think about my ex. Then I get that jealous feeling. Then I get a little pissed that I'm being such a panzy. I can't stand my ex because of this. It really pisses me off. Like most people I enjoy sex a lot. I did with her for sure. That was honestly one of the better aspects of our relationship. Now I'm finding it hard to be intimate with someone else. I mean the girl I'm dating is very atractive and wants sex. But here I am thinking about my freaking ex. I don't want to have sex just to do it. But damn it, I need to forget about my ex. I need some lovin!! Has anyone else gone through anything like this? Do I just need to sack up? Maybe a little something new would help?
McGrupp Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 (edited) im going through the same thing. this girl wants it so bad and i cant get my ex out of my head. also im going on a date with another girl next week and scared to not talk about my ex while on it,... also if im hooking up, my mind wanders what she is doing. like last night i dropped off this girl and we kissed for awhile in my car. anyway on the way home by myself i suddenly had images of my ex cooking for and ****ing some other dude. i got so enraged i picked up cell and almost called her. Edited November 13, 2009 by McGrupp
TaraMaiden Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 You're classically self-sabotaging. (A bit like telling somebody to stand in a corner and to not think of a blue bear..... Guess what? Can't stop themselves.) the harder you try to not think about it, the more you do.... It's a symptom of something.... What? Was sex so great with your ex- that nobody could compare? Tell you what, instead of trying to NOT think about it, try to explain to your great new GF that you have a terrible problem. That the worst thing happens, and you hate it. The moment you begin to have sex with her, your ex-pops into your head. you hate it.#You hate her. You resent it. You don't want it. What can she do to help you, because you really love sex with her, and you hate these thoughts.... Maybe if you face up to them, maybe they won't be so insiduous.... Just thinking out loud....
Author ItsAllGoodAgain Posted November 13, 2009 Author Posted November 13, 2009 I try not to think of my ex at all. I've been pretty good about it actually. But now theres another female wanting me and I feel guilty. Absolutley ridiculous!! I'm sure this will pass just as many other emotions and feelings towards my ex have done. But still...
GrayClouds Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 Its because your not over your ex. Stay away form dating until you are, it is not fair of the others.
sean1970 Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 Its because your not over your ex. Stay away form dating until you are, it is not fair of the others. I learned this the hard way recently... Not fun...
McGrupp Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 yeah i know its bad. the chick im hooking up with i told her strait on the 2nd date. im getting over my ex, ill probably talk about her a lot, and im not looking for anything remotely serious. she was ok with all of that which doesnt say much for HER self esteem its almost like a FWB situation now, which is ok i think. prolly not, but hey im 24...
HeavenOrHell Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 Why are you with other partners if you're not over your ex yet? It's not fair on the new partner and probably pretty soul destroying for you.
McGrupp Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 (edited) sad really Edited November 13, 2009 by McGrupp
HeavenOrHell Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 Ugh! Hate the term chick or bird Well at least you were straight with her so it was up to her if she was sad enough to go through with it. Sorry, ignore me, I'm depressed and grumpy as f*** today. yeah i know its bad. the chick im hooking up with i told her strait on the 2nd date. im getting over my ex, ill probably talk about her a lot, and im not looking for anything remotely serious. she was ok with all of that which doesnt say much for HER self esteem its almost like a FWB situation now, which is ok i think. prolly not, but hey im 24...
USMCHokie Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 A couple weeks after my breakup back in July, I went on a trip to the beach with a female friend...ended up hooking up...at the time I thought it was me moving on...we met up again about a month later...hooked up again...i realized how bad i thought the sex was...and i told her straight up that i thought it was bad...doesn't seem like we're friends anymore... Obviously it was way too soon to see other people one month after the breakup...but even 4 months later, i don't get any warm fuzzies when i meet or talk to new girls...truly unfortunate...
McGrupp Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 (edited) its strange...it is strange i dont know what to do. its not only the physical but just someone to hang out with. we're both lonely and in weird places in our lives... Ugh! Hate the term chick or bird Well at least you were straight with her so it was up to her if she was sad enough to go through with it. Sorry, ignore me, I'm depressed and grumpy as f*** today. yeah i see your posts. sucks. i just got "the journey from abandonment to healing" by recommendation of other LS'ers. its really helping. check it out if u havent already. Edited November 13, 2009 by McGrupp
HeavenOrHell Posted November 14, 2009 Posted November 14, 2009 Thanks I will check the book out I would say don't hurry to be with anyone else, 4 months on for me and I won't be ready for a long time to share anything much with anyone else. I'm just building up my life instead. its strange...it is strange i dont know what to do. its not only the physical but just someone to hang out with. we're both lonely and in weird places in our lives... yeah i see your posts. sucks. i just got "the journey from abandonment to healing" by recommendation of other LS'ers. its really helping. check it out if u havent already.
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