floods88 Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 after 4 days of NC i saw him at the pub tonight and now i feel worse than ever. When i first saw that he was there i sat well away from him even though he was sitting with our friends and just did my absolute best to look happy. I could see him staring at me through the corner of my eye for ages until he came over and asked if i wanted to go for a cigarette outside. I went and he started being all friendly and asking me what id been up to and telling me about this gig that he went to etc. He sat next to me when we got back inside and tried to make conversation but i was just pining for him so much and it really hurt. later on in the night he started talking to me again and he told me that he still hadnt 'dealt' with it and that he cant go to sleep sober but that he was planning on changing that after the weekend. He also told me he still cant eat and hasnt had anything but coffee for 3 days. he wasnt saying all this in a 'i miss you' way, he was just stating it. While we were talking i asked him if he wanted to go for a cigarette and we did. I told him that it was really hard for me to talk to him like this and see him and he asked me if i wanted him to leave me alone but i said no and started to get upset, he then went to go inside and i asked him not to but he just went and 10 minutes later he left. Im just distraught. I miss him so much i just want to call him and try and work things out but hes just avoiding anything to do with our situation. Does anyone have a clue what might be going on in his head? Its now early morning and after crying for hours i still cant sleep. p to and telling me.
callingyouuu Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 I think he left abruptly after you said you didn't want him to stop contacting you because he got what he needed from you: confirmation that you still miss him. I don't think he wants to get back together. If he did, you'd have more than just empty words. If he wants to get back together, he'll make that clear. Right now, he's using your emotions to help himself move on.
Author floods88 Posted November 13, 2009 Author Posted November 13, 2009 i dont think thats the case. Hes not a bad person at all. I think maybe he tried being friendly and he couldnt handle it when i showed that i clearly missed him cos hes scared of dealing with it. I just dont understand why hes doing this if hes finding it hard aswell. If he didnt care about me surely hed be able function normally and wouldnt be trying to fill up his time with going out constantly and drinking on his own in his bedroom?
Malenfant Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 I think he left abruptly after you said you didn't want him to stop contacting you because he got what he needed from you: confirmation that you still miss him. I don't think he wants to get back together. If he did, you'd have more than just empty words. If he wants to get back together, he'll make that clear. Right now, he's using your emotions to help himself move on. I think thats a bit harsh. I read it as she didnt want him to leave her alone, then got upset. That upset him as he couldnt actually do anything for her and left knowing that by staying he was just upsetting them both. NC only works if you dont see each other at all.
Author floods88 Posted November 13, 2009 Author Posted November 13, 2009 would it be a really bad idea to speak to him? i want to know what hes thinking!
sean1970 Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 i dont think thats the case. Hes not a bad person at all. I think maybe he tried being friendly and he couldnt handle it when i showed that i clearly missed him cos hes scared of dealing with it. You cant think for two people... "What if he... I wonder if he... Maybe he" none of these can be answered by you... And whatever you do, please don't makes excuses for him...
Author floods88 Posted November 13, 2009 Author Posted November 13, 2009 please don't makes excuses for him... its not that im trying to make excuses for him. i genuinely can tell you that he's not a bad guy. im just trying to understand where he's coming from because i love him and i dont want to give up on our relationship just like that. i can't.
sean1970 Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 its not that im trying to make excuses for him. i genuinely can tell you that he's not a bad guy. im just trying to understand where he's coming from because i love him and i dont want to give up on our relationship just like that. i can't. I hate to say it like this but if he is not with you, isnt that an indication of where he is coming from? Didn't he 'give up' on the relationship? You have been here a while to know if they wanted to be in our lives, they would make grand style efforts to do so. Asking you to go smoke is hardly that type of act. Wondering what he is doing/thinking only retards your progress, yes? The only strings that keep us attached to our ex are ones we ourselves have not yet cut.
Mr-T Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 The only strings that keep us attached to our ex are ones we ourselves have not yet cut. possibly one of the best things I have read!
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