Does anything haunt you about your ex?

[Ms. Joolie]

With that said I won't deny that what you've suggested has crossed my mind a dozen times, almost verbatim. I just have a hard time believing it because she is the one that ended it with me, so the logical side of me discounts this almost every time. I have rarely been in the shoes of a dumper, but I would wager that we are not together for a reason lol. So this part is just doubtful to me is all.

 

She broke up with you....hmmm. I HAD to go back and read your past threads, to see if you gave the story on your break up. Didn't see that, but did read that she sent you a letter, two years after the break up.

 

This girl is thinking of you. No doubt.

 

But perhaps the source of the scent is the higher power, looking for your response?

 

Amazing, and really makes one wonder. Perhaps she is truly a spiritual person, and as lostsoulmate pointed out, is leaving her scent behind -intentionally or not - so that you are always reminded of her. It just makes me wonder about your ex.... would drive me crazy! Is that why you posted it here? lol

[TheLoneSock]

She broke up with you....hmmm. I HAD to go back and read your past threads, to see if you gave the story on your break up. Didn't see that, but did read that she sent you a letter, two years after the break up.

 

This girl is thinking of you. No doubt.

 

But perhaps the source of the scent is the higher power, looking for your response?

 

Amazing, and really makes one wonder. Perhaps she is truly a spiritual person, and as lostsoulmate pointed out, is leaving her scent behind -intentionally or not - so that you are always reminded of her. It just makes me wonder about your ex.... would drive me crazy! Is that why you posted it here? lol

 

It was a different girl that sent me the letter. I know the situations sound somewhat similar, but they are different. The girl I'm refering to as my ex here is the one that came just after her - and this one was a much deeper/longer relationship.

 

Still though lol yes, it is somewhat driving me crazy. Hence my Indiana Jones-like search for answers! *cracks his whip*

 

In reality though, I know she thinks of me from time to time, I just don't know how often. But that part doesn't matter anyway. Because like you said, we just don't know what's out there. I know she is a spiritual person (although she was conflicted with her religion at some points in her life, she seems to have landed on solid ground as far as her faith goes at this point), and I know she believes in the paranormal, spiritual, alternate forces at work sort of thing - that's just in her personality. I wouldn't peg her to be the type of person who would do that sort of thing though, leaving her scent behind, especially since she's the one that broke it off - but you never know.

 

You see how strange of a situation it is though? I have even resorted to going around and smelling all of the plants in my yard, JUST to make sure they don't smell like her and the scent is just drifting through my open window at night. And to that end, none of them smelled remotely like her, so it had nothing to do with my situation.

 

One thing is wierd though, it ALWAYS happens at night. Rarely does it happen during the day, it's always an evening/night time thing that this smell wafts into my nose lol.

Edited November 13, 2009 by TheLoneSock

[Ms. Joolie]

Hmmmmm.... well then... it appears to me that the forces of nature are reminding you of this girl.

 

If you wish to go Indy-style and engage in the forces of nature, you must do so.

 

What you must do is reject the scent of this girl. Seriously. You've not rejected it yet. You accept it and it is enticing you (which is only fulfilling it's purpose), but you have not rejected it.

 

Once her scent receives your rejection, perhaps after the third try, you will have rejected her spirit. And she will not return.

 

Try it. That's what I'd do. lol

Edited November 13, 2009 by Ms. Joolie

[TeacupMovinON]

I ask this question (and I ask it in the 'Coping' section because I think this is where the kind of input I'm looking for will be found) because I've had the strangest thing happen to me over the past several months.

 

I can smell my ex.

 

Yep, you heard it right, I can smell her. At the most random times of the day, while I'm doing every day things... driving, working, doing homework, talking on the phone, cooking, whatever.

 

At times when not a single thought about her is in my head, I'll just all the sudden smell her scent. It's not the scent of any perfume, it's not any certain clothing detergent, nor any particular lotion, it's nothing like that - it's just the scent that used to come off of her skin, almost unexplainable. I'm a very smell oriented person, I have a nose like a bloodhound.

 

So this has been in a way haunting me for the better part of a year. It's even more confusing because I am not even thinking of her when it happens, but then I am thinking of her after that. She is someone I do miss, but don't want to be with, and haven't wanted to for a while now.

 

The crazy/superstitious part of me thinks it happens when she is thinking of me. The scientific part of me thinks that chemicals in my brain are just being randomly activated that tell my nose I'm smelling her pheromones in some way. The logical part of me thinks I'm just imagining it all.

 

But still, it's like ARGH WTF. Where did that come from?! As I look around the room haha.

 

Any thoughts on this? I welcome all analysis - psychological, spiritual, scientific, w/e - anything that can help explain this.

 

Also, anything similar to this happen to you?

 

I can relate with this. It is all too familiar. It has only happened twice but it was so earie that I remember it in detail.

 

The last time a month or so ago (9 months after my relationship was over) I am outside mowing my lawn. I was not thinking of the ex, I was too busy! Out of no where comes his scent and boy was it strong! I had to turn of the mower and look around...was he there? Nope! Just his smell, when I should have been smelling the freshly cut grass. Tis odd for sure!

 

I don't know what that was about but I can assure you that you are not crazy. The smell was there, for no good reason. It is one of those unexplainable things.

[jlr]

The painting is not in my actual work, but the building our offices are in. So I'm not even sure who put it up. I see it every time I go down our hall that leads us out of the buliding and in.

[lostsoulmate]

The sage in the pockets is a NA practice?

Actually they burn it where they feel the energy is not pure, but leave a window open if you do to let out the negative energy.

 

Or the other things are?... Just trying to understand.

Just the sage is a native practice, but many other pagan religions use it too. I hope I am not scaring you, I am just very open minded about faith.

 

I have never read The Secret, I think it's one of those things that everyone talks up so much it makes me not want to read it lol. But I get what you are saying about causing action and reaction.

Cause and reaction is the only reason I read it. It IMO was too centered around money and how to get more of it. Sad really IMO.

 

I won't lie that would be realllly strange for her to try and put a curse on me like that lol. Funny though because she did used to sleep with articles of clothing of mine when I wasn't around, and spray my cologne on her bed/in her car and what not. So scent was a powerful thing for her too.

Like I said, she may not intentionally "cursed" you as you put it, but the mind is a powerful thing.

 

I have always been wary of practices that involve the purification of anything, the lighting of candles, the wearing of seasonings, the manipulation of energies, ect. - it all not only sounds taboo, but goes against parts of my religion. Not to put down your way of thinking in any way, because it is interesting, just saying you know. It's a new area for me haha.

To each their own!

[TheLoneSock]

Hmmmmm.... well then... it appears to me that the forces of nature are reminding you of this girl.

 

If you wish to go Indy-style and engage in the forces of nature, you must do so.

 

What you must do is reject the scent of this girl. Seriously. You've not rejected it yet. You accept it and it is enticing you (which is only fulfilling it's purpose), but you have not rejected it.

 

Once her scent receives your rejection, perhaps after the third try, you will have rejected her spirit. And she will not return.

 

Try it. That's what I'd do. lol

 

Oh believe me I have tried rejecting it. I have told myself I'm just imagining things a dozen times. Is there a right or wrong way of rejecting it? Lol because nothing I have done has worked.

 

I don't know what that was about but I can assure you that you are not crazy. The smell was there, for no good reason. It is one of those unexplainable things.

 

My sentiments exactly.

 

Actually they burn it where they feel the energy is not pure, but leave a window open if you do to let out the negative energy.

 

Just the sage is a native practice, but many other pagan religions use it too. I hope I am not scaring you, I am just very open minded about faith.

 

Cause and reaction is the only reason I read it. It IMO was too centered around money and how to get more of it. Sad really IMO.

 

Like I said, she may not intentionally "cursed" you as you put it, but the mind is a powerful thing.

 

To each their own!

 

Don't worry, very little scares me. And I only used cursed for lack of a better word lol, I'm sure there is a better way of putting it. I'll probably pass on The Secret if that's what it winds down to. The mind is a powerful thing though...

 

What if I AM cursed?! Lol I know she was no pagan... and she has no reason to wish something like that upon me, intentionally or not - she broke it off, not me. Is it significant at all that it started happening almost exactly a year after we split? Or that it happens only in the evening/night time?

[jlr]

Aha. My ex had the Secret - the book and dvd. I always thought it was cheesy, and really centered towards money too. The basic concept is good, but the way it's presented in the book and movie is pretty lame, IMO.

 

It's funny, I actually told my ex that had we been together, I'd have bought the painting and hung it in my music studio for inspiration. But now, I'd pay whoever owns it to take it down because it haunts me.

[BCCA]

With me, its always TV shows and music. There are just certain songs and shows that if I even hear their name, her face pops up in my mind. When you live with someone, and share your day to day life for several years, you begin to associate certain things with them. Its only natural.

 

Just dont let it effect your day. At first, the mere sight of a show on would put me in a tailsplin for the rest of the day. Now, I might sigh a little, but then Im over it. People come and go in your life for a reason, and some leave you with painful memories. But if you let people effect your life after they leave it, youre only doing yourself a disservice.

[Ms. Joolie]

Oh believe me I have tried rejecting it. I have told myself I'm just imagining things a dozen times. Is there a right or wrong way of rejecting it? Lol because nothing I have done has worked.

 

No, not denying it, but rejecting it. Here's my theory, and my argument for it:

 

Let's say this scent is coming from another realm, an illogical realm or the supernatural realm... a realm that can not yet be explained by science. The fact is that you smell something , but you don't know it's source. The source is either a higher power or your ex.

 

By rejecting this scent, you will have to address the higher power or your ex and reject it. Let's say the source is your ex: tell your ex you are rejecting her enticement. If the source is a higher power: tell the power to leave you alone, that you are rejecting the memory of her because you have moved on with your life.

 

Again, this is dealing with powers you cannot see. Why? Because you are open to the idea that this could belong to another realm. So deal with it on another realm. I would. As soon as I smelled the scent again I'd tell it to stop. "Leave me alone, I've moved on. You are not wanted."

 

I would seriously do this. Because what you are experiencing cannot be explained logically, but perhaps by addressing it spiritually you can come to a conclusion.

 

And all that I know of the spiritual realm takes acknowledgment of the "happening" and rejection if you don't want it. Because if you don't reject it, it will haunt you. Call it temptation, call it a divine favor, call it a spirit, call it a test... it is not wanted. You must close the door.

 

It would be interesting to find out, yes?

[Ms. Joolie]

The Secret has been mentioned a few times, so I did want to defend it. I have been interested in Kabbalah for about a month now. Went to an intro, attended a couple of classes and have a few books.

 

I have The Secret (book), and have read the heart of it. "The secret" is that for true joy and fulfillment, we need to be beings of transformative sharing. That is to say, in Kabbalah-ish language, that there is a Light (or God), and the Light shines in the world, gives it life. We are of this Light and the only way we can reach joy and fulfillment is sharing this light we have.

 

It's a little complicated, but basically the message can be that there is good and there is evil. We must choose goodness and share goodness. Because evil has consequences.

 

I love it. It's an ancient wisdom that I find very interesting. It goes very in depth, and its simple message is not to be confused with the enormous work behind actually living a joyful and fulfilling life.

 

Kinda like the golden rule. It's not easy, it's an awareness and a practice.

Edited November 13, 2009 by Ms. Joolie
*....small derail...........*

[lostsoulmate]

The Secret has been mentioned a few times, so I did want to defend it. I have been interested in Kabbalah for about a month now. Went to an intro, attended a couple of classes and have a few books.

 

I have The Secret (book), and have read the heart of it. "The secret" is that for true joy and fulfillment, we need to be beings of transformative sharing. That is to say, in Kabbalah-ish language, that there is a Light (or God), and the Light shines in the world, gives it life. We are of this Light and the only way we can reach joy and fulfillment is sharing this light we have.

 

It's a little complicated, but basically the message can be that there is good and there is evil. We must choose goodness and share goodness. Because evil has consequences.

 

I love it. It's an ancient wisdom that I find very interesting. It goes very in depth, and its simple message is not to be confused with the enormous work behind actually living a joyful and fulfilling life.

 

Kinda like the golden rule. It's not easy, it's an awareness and a practice.

 

I also got out of the secret "the golden rule", but I found a better book that explains that type of enlighten living without all the material crap.

 

The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom, A Toltec Wisdom Book by Don Miguel Ruiz

 

It is an amazing read. Very defined and true, if you believe.

[Ms. Joolie]

I also got out of the secret "the golden rule", but I found a better book that explains that type of enlighten living without all the material crap.

 

The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom, A Toltec Wisdom Book by Don Miguel Ruiz

 

It is an amazing read. Very defined and true, if you believe.

 

I guess I'd have to see the movie to understand what you mean by "material crap."

 

Thanks for the heads up on the books, will have to check them out.

[4givrnt4gtr]

Ha funny i should read this thread today.

 

I think i posted a few weeks ago how I felt "haunted" by my ex as well. Ofcourse I, despite the weirdness of it all, chalked it up to it being recent, me missing him and kind of "looking" for the things that remind me of him.

 

In any case recently ive decided to let him go for good, and close the door on any possibility of a reconciliation, ever. Once i did that, sure i would see random things that reminded me of him but not all at once or in one day and not all that would send chills down my spine.

 

And then....he posted lyrics to a sad break up song. I read it and wondered if it was about me or his ex before me. I thought about it for a second, talked it over with my friend who told me to trust God and His will, and to trust that I would get signs about whether letting this guy go for good was what i needed to do. I didnt say anything but I though "its what i WANT to do, despite how I might feel about it" Still, I prayed and asked God for clarity and whatnot, whether this guy still loved me and whether I should hold on a little longer.

 

The next day hell broke lose. I walked into a store and the first song he dedicated to me was playing. Not a popular song, in fact ive never heard of it before or even after he dedicated to me. I literally stopped in my tracks. Chills down spine ensued.

 

Afterwards I went to a coffee shop. THe boy in front of me got called out by his first name. My exs name. Then i turned on my computer and started listening to Pandora (for those of you who dont know...totally awesome radio station that plays songs randomely according to your musical taste, great for hearing new music). In any case, the last song he dedicated to me before leaving played immediately. Again random, obscured song. I started researching "synchronicity" and the site that came up was written by a lady who was telling a story about her son, whose name is the same as my exs (btw my exs name isnt something too popular).

 

So...im still trying to decypher what all that means.....but if you feel haunted...trust me Ive been there.

 

Now....regarding the smell....ok, I am also a strong believer of telephathy, and creepy as it might be I "use" it once in a while. Since the whole signs/haunting happened I guess i reopened the possibility door, so whenever I see that my ex is having a hard day or whatever, I close my eyes and imagine me in his room, I imagine everything in the room, I imagine him in front of his computer, tense up while working on his spread sheets. I then imagine me giving him a massage on his shoulders like i used to and trying to help him to relax a bit.

Does he feel it? I dont know, I havent asked, but I do believe that intention makes a difference and just like others have said, what you put out in the universe has an effect on everyone, especially the person who is intended to. SO just as I might be giving my ex telepathic massages, your ex might just be sending the part of her that she knows you liked the most or connect with her the most, she might miss you and trying to reach out to you, even if it is in the most roundabout way to do it

[Crusoe]

Haunted by my ex? Hell yes. Years and years since she vanished, years and years since her lies and infidelity cost me everyone and everything I ever knew or had. Every time I switch on the TV and see the men I once used to compete against, out there walking up the 72nd fairway. Everytime I step onto the range and hear some of the old timers whisper "that fella there, best ball striker I ever saw". Every time I look at the old video footage of myself in my youth, before I chose to quit the game to care for her and her illness. Every time I look at that those trophies and course record cards that I keep in my attic because I cannot bear to have them on show. Every time I feel the twinge of the injuries I sustained during those years with her that mean I will never swing a club like that again. Every bloody time I think to myself, Crusoe, you were a complete knob.

Edited November 13, 2009 by Crusoe

[Ody]

I can smell my ex.

 

Yep, you heard it right, I can smell her. At the most random times of the day, while I'm doing every day things... driving, working, doing homework, talking on the phone, cooking, whatever.

 

For a few years after one breakup I would occasionally smell an ex. This was about 10 years ago. The smell would stop me in my tracks, it was like getting smacked in the face by some strange bittersweet hand. It didn't happen to me as often as if sounds like you describe though.

 

Any thoughts on this? I welcome all analysis - psychological, spiritual, scientific, w/e - anything that can help explain this.

 

Also, anything similar to this happen to you?

 

It really mystified me at the time. However it wasn't very frequent so I would chalk it up to happening to walk near someone who used the same perfume or scent or something. That ex had a very, very strong scent. Like you I have an acute sense of smell.

 

Looking back on it, it might have been more subtle. Most people don't really know much about their sense of smell - try to describe a smell without just equating it to another smell. It's very difficult. Compare to vision or sound, where we can describe color, size, loudness, rhythm, pitch, etc very easily.

 

Really though, scents have component parts and traits like our more obvious senses. A few years back I started to be able to think about smell more intelligently, noticing things like how perfumes often have a base smell (like vanilla) with other components. It helped that I dated an art student who worked at an office for a perfume chemical importer... I'm still not very good at describing smells really though. It helps to work with taste as well, which is very similar.

 

My guess now is that there is some component of your ex's scent (likewise for mine) that is rather rare, distinct, or recognizable, and your acute sense of smell picks up on it often in other scents without you really being able to rationally understand the scent pieces.

 

Take it with a grain of salt. I don't believe in ghosts, so I was bound to try to find a rational explanation.

 

EDIT - left out that of course the lingering emotional connection makes you more likely to recognize the scent than others, just like a familiar face in the crowd or your favorite song one someone's distant headphones.

Edited November 14, 2009 by Ody

[Surfer Girl]

This may sound hokey.... I have had my aura read and I was way up there.... I went to a psychic once and she told me I may feel things, smell things, see things I don't realize why... for example a friend of mine might be pregnant I may feel the symptoms... I come from a family of psychics...

 

You may have some kind of psychic ability.... I do know... when I visualize seeing my ex on some off beaten path of the road.... he more times than not is there...

 

I do not take for granted that certain energies from either you or her can be powerful enough to connect...

 

One example... A good friend of his passed... They used to play guitar together and his favorite was Earl Ray Keen.... At times we would talk about his friend... and out of the blue a song by Earl Ray Keen would come on.... mind you this is not an artist that would most likely be playing on the radio... My ex would acknowledge his friend and know he was there at that instant...

 

I don't doubt the power of thought and energy....

 

Lost Soul Mate knows how powerful that energy can be....

 

Sometimes neither you or your ex may not recognize or understand how powerful that energy is...

[EarthGirl]

yeah I have a thing with dreams....funny Medium is like one of my favorite shows ever....I've never been a particular believer in psychic phenomena, but I'm basically open minded to just about anything. Anyway the dreams started I don't know 7 years ago or so....first one was with an angel that visited me. one of my guardian angels was what I was made to believe...

 

Anyway now that my grandma has died I got a few from her..but ironically I've gotten more (like 3 or 4-only 2 so far from my grandma) from someone who died tragically too young and was a friend of a friend and I never even MET him in life.

 

But yeah apparently he gives me messages and I told the friend of his and apparently I have known things that I had no way of knowing unless it was him....and pretty mundane although perhaps important things like certain friends he apparently wants to stop smoking...so I'm like ok, I'll pass it along..and just hope no one thinks I'm crazy..And all along I'm kinda going ...come on Healthcliff (his nickname cause he apparently felt like the tragic character a lot in life) where are my lotto numbers? But no..he just wants to tell people he is watching and he wants them to stop smoking and such. So ok, I oblige...I figure it isn't nearly as dramatic as Allison Dubois solving murders and saving lives and such (unless his friend takes his advice and stops smoking and gives him a few extra years of life not getting lung cancer I guess down the road), but I guess I have my own little "job" in life...that's what he tells me in my head..it's my "job" (cause I don't have an actual job currently, I'm unemployed)...but that was just in my head not in a dream...

 

No don't worry I don't "hear voices" ...just kind of a dialogue in my head like everybody has..so there's no way to tell if it's just my own subconscious making it up.

 

But yeah I'm starting to appreciate what it means to have a "small" impact in life..all the differences you make to the universe in different ways. They're small but they're not worthless.

[TheLoneSock]

Just thought I'd bump this with a little update.

 

You know that smell that was haunting me? It's gone. Yes, it's been defeated...

 

 

It has been overpowered by the smell of SEX in my room, because I've been having quite a bit of it lately.

 

 

So take that, diabolically haunting scent of my ex! Get owned by the powerful aroma of LAID!

[Ms. Joolie]

LOL. Thanks for the update.... actually I have wondered about this. Glad you found your happy solution.

[silic0ntoad]

Favorite quote of all time. GET OWNED. i say that too much.....LOL