TheLoneSock Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 I ask this question (and I ask it in the 'Coping' section because I think this is where the kind of input I'm looking for will be found) because I've had the strangest thing happen to me over the past several months. I can smell my ex. Yep, you heard it right, I can smell her. At the most random times of the day, while I'm doing every day things... driving, working, doing homework, talking on the phone, cooking, whatever. At times when not a single thought about her is in my head, I'll just all the sudden smell her scent. It's not the scent of any perfume, it's not any certain clothing detergent, nor any particular lotion, it's nothing like that - it's just the scent that used to come off of her skin, almost unexplainable. I'm a very smell oriented person, I have a nose like a bloodhound. So this has been in a way haunting me for the better part of a year. It's even more confusing because I am not even thinking of her when it happens, but then I am thinking of her after that. She is someone I do miss, but don't want to be with, and haven't wanted to for a while now. The crazy/superstitious part of me thinks it happens when she is thinking of me. The scientific part of me thinks that chemicals in my brain are just being randomly activated that tell my nose I'm smelling her pheromones in some way. The logical part of me thinks I'm just imagining it all. But still, it's like ARGH WTF. Where did that come from?! As I look around the room haha. Any thoughts on this? I welcome all analysis - psychological, spiritual, scientific, w/e - anything that can help explain this. Also, anything similar to this happen to you?
deux ex machina Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 (edited) ... But still, it's like ARGH WTF. Where did that come from?! As I look around the room haha. Any thoughts on this? I welcome all analysis - psychological, spiritual, scientific, w/e - anything that can help explain this. Also, anything similar to this happen to you? Funny that it's your sense of smell, and that's finely attuned with you - with me, it is touch and words. Yes, I know exactly what you are talking about, but I simply can't explain it, either. Maybe we're both crazy? It's only been a few days since I have made the decision that we need not be in contact again - this is when the 'haunting' started in earnest. I can relate to this, and it's timely. For a while... I can feel him - touching my hair, my stomach, my back, his hands around my waist. Or I can hear "I love you." in my ear. A whisper. I really want it to never start, but it comes out of nowhere. The thing that's been around awhile has been feeling sudden pain in my solar plexis - a feeling like dread or foreboding - and I wonder if he is feeling the same thing I'm feeling. The sharp pain is dissipating, but the feelings are there. Then again, it hasn't been long. Edited November 13, 2009 by deux ex machina
Author TheLoneSock Posted November 13, 2009 Author Posted November 13, 2009 That is crazy. Almost ghostly/paranormal... Lol But you have the luxury of blaming it on a relationship that is still fresh in your mind. What do I have to attest it to? We have not even seen each other for coming up on two years now. Almost two years later and I still smell her? Something's gotta give.
deux ex machina Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 Just a thought, but have you taken a look under your bed?
Author TheLoneSock Posted November 13, 2009 Author Posted November 13, 2009 Just a thought, but have you taken a look under your bed? Haha! Even at 23 and having seen the **** I've seen, that question still sent shivers up my back. No, I haven't. But why? There is nothing under there (no boxes, clothes, ect.), aaaand... I have moved twice since being with her lol.
deux ex machina Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 No, I haven't. But why? There is nothing under there (no boxes, clothes, ect.), aaaand... I have moved twice since being with her lol. Thought I'd rule something out. Haha! Even at 23 and having seen the **** I've seen, that question still sent shivers up my back. Ah good. :laugh:
CarrieT Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 Yes. I am haunted -- he and I still live in the same neighborhood and we cross paths now and then (which is bad enough), but he shows up in my dreams. Most recently, I was traveling to Scotland and he was there in the nether world. I hate that. Occasionally, when I'm shopping, I will see something that I would have bought for him without thinking and put it in my basket. Then it dawns on me -- that was almost two years ago and who am I buying this for? And I'll wake up and turn over -- feeling for that body that is not there...
broken79 Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 Freaky. I've had the same thing happen to me. Don't know what it is. It's happend to me a few times in the last four months since we split up. I've smelled his sweat a few times, and once or twice his deodorant. Very strange. I've moved in with my parents. Nothing here smells of him. Not sure what it is, been trying to figure it out myself..
cdt76 Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 Music. We used to sing a couple of songs together and we'd fall asleep to this one song. whenever it comes on.....I'm right back in bed with her in my arms. It's the toughest thing to listen to so I change the channel but it's too late. If I could only hurt them like they hurt me......life would be so much sweeter.
Author TheLoneSock Posted November 13, 2009 Author Posted November 13, 2009 Yes. I am haunted -- he and I still live in the same neighborhood and we cross paths now and then (which is bad enough), but he shows up in my dreams. Most recently, I was traveling to Scotland and he was there in the nether world. I hate that. Occasionally, when I'm shopping, I will see something that I would have bought for him without thinking and put it in my basket. Then it dawns on me -- that was almost two years ago and who am I buying this for? And I'll wake up and turn over -- feeling for that body that is not there... Lol damn you've got it bad. I thought smelling was bad enough. All that would be more than I could bear.
Author TheLoneSock Posted November 13, 2009 Author Posted November 13, 2009 Freaky. I've had the same thing happen to me. Don't know what it is. It's happend to me a few times in the last four months since we split up. I've smelled his sweat a few times, and once or twice his deodorant. Very strange. I've moved in with my parents. Nothing here smells of him. Not sure what it is, been trying to figure it out myself.. I had an idea cross my mind about doing certain things or actions that would make something in your brain to trigger a familiar smell. We all have our triggers, maybe that's just another level of them. But it happens at such random times I still don't see how that would fit.
Ms. Joolie Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 How interesting... I do know that my ex said I had my own scent... that he liked the smell of me, and it wasn't perfume or anything like that he was talking about, so I just understood it as pheromones. So when you smell her scent, I've no doubt it's the scent you picked up from her. Perhaps there are just another set of powerful pheromones present when you do smell this scent, powerful pheromones that you are associating with her. It could be coming from a co-worker, or the bedsheets, or someone that passed you by as you were talking on the phone. You may just have a very receptive sense of smell, and can pick up pheromones easily. (Do you find yourself especially attracted to women at the gym? lol) That, OR... the pheromones just happen. Like a vision for you to see or an object there for you to touch. Only this is a scent that you can smell. Yes, that would take it into another realm.
Author TheLoneSock Posted November 13, 2009 Author Posted November 13, 2009 How interesting... I do know that my ex said I had my own scent... that he liked the smell of me, and it wasn't perfume or anything like that he was talking about, so I just understood it as pheromones. So when you smell her scent, I've no doubt it's the scent you picked up from her. Perhaps there are just another set of powerful pheromones present when you do smell this scent, powerful pheromones that you are associating with her. I know that pheromones CAN smell similar, but with how often it occurs coupled with the fact that there are so many different scents, it's highly unlikely that another girls pheromones are triggering it all the time. I would think anyway. It could be coming from a co-worker, or the bedsheets, or someone that passed you by as you were talking on the phone. You may just have a very receptive sense of smell, and can pick up pheromones easily. (Do you find yourself especially attracted to women at the gym? lol) Yes. I am at my horniest after I've finished lifting. All that testosterone you know. Which is what I always attributed it to, it never occured to me that I could be taking in all those girls' pheromones wafting through the air. But this doesn't really bear on my situation in a literal way because I can tell the difference between women, and I know when it's my ex I'm smelling. That, OR... the pheromones just happen. Like a vision for you to see or an object there for you to touch. Only this is a scent that you can smell. Yes, that would take it into another realm. Yes this is definitely into another realm. Because as far as I know your brain cannot simply produce a smell for your nose out of thin air, and even if it could there would have to be a reason behind it. Freaky.
Ms. Joolie Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 It's in the spiritual realm then? Perhaps you need to conclude what your spiritual part in you is telling you, as it seems you so accurately concluded for your other parts: The crazy/superstitious part of me thinks it happens when she is thinking of me. The scientific part of me thinks that chemicals in my brain are just being randomly activated that tell my nose I'm smelling her pheromones in some way. The logical part of me thinks I'm just imagining it all. No matter which realm, or where or who it's from, I suppose it's obvious to state that the scent is a remembrance. You could go all out, and start lighting candles or something. Or say an honest prayer. Or call her? hehe
lostsoulmate Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 Start carrying around a small amount of sage with you. It helps ward off weird stuff, purifies the energy around you. Was she religious? I have heard about people "putting a spell" (of sorts) on an ex they want back. She could have even done it without realizing. The brain and universe (so electrified with energy) is a strange and wonderful thing.
Author TheLoneSock Posted November 13, 2009 Author Posted November 13, 2009 It's in the spiritual realm then? Perhaps you need to conclude what your spiritual part in you is telling you, as it seems you so accurately concluded for your other parts. No matter which realm, or where or who it's from, I suppose it's obvious to state that the scent is a remembrance. You could go all out, and start lighting candles or something. Or say an honest prayer. Or call her? hehe You may be correct, but I think lighting candles A la seance would be pushing it a little lol. Calling her is out of the question really. An honest prayer though, I've done my fair share of those... Start carrying around a small amount of sage with you. It helps ward off weird stuff, purifies the energy around you. Are you talking about witchcraft, or something voodoo-ish? Was she religious? Yes, as am I. I have heard about people "putting a spell" (of sorts) on an ex they want back. She could have even done it without realizing. That is creepy to think about. Her religion is not one that would do something like that though, I don't think anyway. How would someone do something like that without realizing it? The brain and universe (so electrified with energy) is a strange and wonderful thing. Indeed it is!
sean1970 Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 "Odor-evoked memories may seem clearer or more intense than other memories because they appear to be more emotional than memories triggered by visual, audio or other types of cues, Herz finds. While odors don?t help people recall more information, the memories they evoke are more emotionally laden, her research suggests." http://www.apa.org/monitor/jan98/smell.html
Ms. Joolie Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 (edited) How would someone do something like that without realizing it? Spiritually, I would speculate that she is thinking of you, very much like a prayer. We don't know the power of prayer, or the effect of our thoughts in the universe. We don't know. Many times at night I think of my ex still. My love for him is still there, even if faint now, and even though the relationship isn't. So I direct those thoughts as best I can for him and to that higher power that I do believe in. Just good thoughts with good intentions, then I let it go. Yes, it is just "Like A Prayer" to me. haha Maybe she is thinking of you, directing thoughts or a prayer to you. Or if she is not the source, that higher power is... ...Who knows. Edited November 13, 2009 by Ms. Joolie
lostsoulmate Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 Are you talking about witchcraft, or something voodoo-ish? No, it is a Native American practice. It works. That is creepy to think about. Her religion is not one that would do something like that though, I don't think anyway. How would someone do something like that without realizing it? I am talking about when someone puts thoughts and feelings out into the universe without realizing how it could effect you. Like what "the secret" is trying to tell everyone. Everything you do or say goes out into the universe and if you want what you say to happen or come back to you, you better be careful what you say. (with that being said, what I mean is one day she could have been mad at you and said "I hope he smells me all the time, so he is miserable" Without her knowing she may have triggered the universe to get you to have smell Haunts... so to speak) Weirder crap has happened. I didn't mean to creep you out. But purifying the energy around you, may just get the smell haunts to go away!
Author TheLoneSock Posted November 13, 2009 Author Posted November 13, 2009 "Odor-evoked memories may seem clearer or more intense than other memories because they appear to be more emotional than memories triggered by visual, audio or other types of cues, Herz finds. While odors don?t help people recall more information, the memories they evoke are more emotionally laden, her research suggests." http://www.apa.org/monitor/jan98/smell.html This was really interesting. I don't liken myself to a drug addict or rape victim but still a good read lol. I think the main difference in this is that there is a known source of the scent, as it was introduced intentionally in order to study a reaction in the students. It does little to explain why it's happening for me but it does explain what it does when it happens. Which is exactly what it says, evoking memories.
Nikki Sahagin Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 Its really bizare that you can smell your ex... I sometimes smell his smell ON other people i.e. his aftershave etc and that used to give me a horrible feeling inside Other than that, I have a kind of sixth sense about where he is and what he's doing. If ever I'm about to go somewhere I get this feeling that he is either there or he's not and everytime I get the feeling he is, it turns out to be true. This has happened at clubs, bars, train stations, shopping places, restaurants. Now if ever I get that feeling I don't go because I know he'll be there (I trust that feeling now), but I find it strange, whether its a sixth sense or a psychic link or paranoia or pure coincidence - whatever it is, it freaks me out!
Author TheLoneSock Posted November 13, 2009 Author Posted November 13, 2009 Spiritually, I would speculate that she is thinking of you, very much like a prayer. We don't know the power of prayer, or the effect of our thoughts in the universe. We don't know. Many times at night I think of my ex still. My love for him is still there, even if faint now, and even though the relationship isn't. So I direct those thoughts as best I can for him and to that higher power that I do believe in. Just good thoughts with good intentions, then I let it go. Yes, it is just "Like A Prayer" to me. haha Maybe she is thinking of you, directing thoughts or a prayer to you. Or if she is not the source, that higher power is... ...Who knows. You know, even though I'm a religious guy, I have always tried very hard to allow myself to discern between science/logic and faith. I am the type of person that believes in my faith intently, but I don't feel it is the 'go-to' answer for lifes unsolved mysteries, if that makes any sense. With that said I won't deny that what you've suggested has crossed my mind a dozen times, almost verbatim. I just have a hard time believing it because she is the one that ended it with me, so the logical side of me discounts this almost every time. I have rarely been in the shoes of a dumper, but I would wager that we are not together for a reason lol. So this part is just doubtful to me is all.
jlr Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 It's weird. I'm not religious at all. But I believe there's something - maybe nature, the stars, I dunno - that puts things in our way for a reason. My ex and I have both talked about all these signs we see, hear, feel, smell, of each other. But it depends on what you do with it. I think they mean we should be with that person. But when the other person is blind to it, or confused, then what's it matter? Lately, I'm being haunted by a painting that was hung up in the building of my work, right about the time we stopped talking a few months ago, after attempting to be "friends" - aka dating without calling it that. Right when she found her rebound, which went sour, and now she's resurfacing again. But anyways, the picture was put right at the end of my hall, so I have to walk by it each day. It looks just like her, it's weird. Last time I was over her house last weekend, we got into an argument - of course - about our relationship. Right in the middle of it being very heated, our song came on the internet radio station she had on. It was also odd because she had set it to some dancey, upbeat one, and our song is anything but. Those are just the most recent things. I've had the smell thing, waking up and thinking they'll be there, even a feeling. Weird stuff.
Author TheLoneSock Posted November 13, 2009 Author Posted November 13, 2009 No, it is a Native American practice. It works. I am talking about when someone puts thoughts and feelings out into the universe without realizing how it could effect you. Like what "the secret" is trying to tell everyone. Everything you do or say goes out into the universe and if you want what you say to happen or come back to you, you better be careful what you say. (with that being said, what I mean is one day she could have been mad at you and said "I hope he smells me all the time, so he is miserable" Without her knowing she may have triggered the universe to get you to have smell Haunts... so to speak) Weirder crap has happened. I didn't mean to creep you out. But purifying the energy around you, may just get the smell haunts to go away! The sage in the pockets is a NA practice? Or the other things are?... Just trying to understand. I have never read The Secret, I think it's one of those things that everyone talks up so much it makes me not want to read it lol. But I get what you are saying about causing action and reaction. I won't lie that would be realllly strange for her to try and put a curse on me like that lol. Funny though because she did used to sleep with articles of clothing of mine when I wasn't around, and spray my cologne on her bed/in her car and what not. So scent was a powerful thing for her too. I have always been wary of practices that involve the purification of anything, the lighting of candles, the wearing of seasonings, the manipulation of energies, ect. - it all not only sounds taboo, but goes against parts of my religion. Not to put down your way of thinking in any way, because it is interesting, just saying you know. It's a new area for me haha.
Author TheLoneSock Posted November 13, 2009 Author Posted November 13, 2009 Other than that, I have a kind of sixth sense about where he is and what he's doing. If ever I'm about to go somewhere I get this feeling that he is either there or he's not and everytime I get the feeling he is, it turns out to be true. This has happened at clubs, bars, train stations, shopping places, restaurants. Now if ever I get that feeling I don't go because I know he'll be there (I trust that feeling now), but I find it strange, whether its a sixth sense or a psychic link or paranoia or pure coincidence - whatever it is, it freaks me out! THAT is what I call gut feelings lol. I have the luxury of not having to worry about that because I live in such a large area and my ex does not even live near me anymore. It has happened to a friend of mine though. We would go out and somehow his ex would show up with a date and some friends, and pretty much ruin my friends night. It's almost like she did it on purpose, and found out where we'd be before coming. That bitch... haha. It's weird. I'm not religious at all. But I believe there's something - maybe nature, the stars, I dunno - that puts things in our way for a reason. My ex and I have both talked about all these signs we see, hear, feel, smell, of each other. But it depends on what you do with it. I think they mean we should be with that person. But when the other person is blind to it, or confused, then what's it matter? Lately, I'm being haunted by a painting that was hung up in the building of my work, right about the time we stopped talking a few months ago, after attempting to be "friends" - aka dating without calling it that. Right when she found her rebound, which went sour, and now she's resurfacing again. But anyways, the picture was put right at the end of my hall, so I have to walk by it each day. It looks just like her, it's weird. Last time I was over her house last weekend, we got into an argument - of course - about our relationship. Right in the middle of it being very heated, our song came on the internet radio station she had on. It was also odd because she had set it to some dancey, upbeat one, and our song is anything but. The painting would be extremely annoying to me. I would ask that it be taken down if I were you. I'm sure your boss would understand your reasoning, especially if it's effecting your work. And even if it's not, you could always say it is and have something done about it anyway Also, every couple has their songs. I think everyone goes through a phase where they think songs are being played on the radio just for them. That is a unique instance though for you, pretty wierd.
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