groedy Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 Hi all, Thought I would just throw in a happy thread. Oddly enough, it started with a weekend I was dreading...going back to where I grew up, where the ex lives, for the first time broken up. I even had a text written multiple times to send to her to ask for a face to face meeting. I sat on it for a few hours, read them again and realized how pointless and stupid it was. I was the one during the arguments leading to the break to initiate conversation to help fix things. She just wanted to avoid me and make up every excuse. So I kept researching all of the things that I thought I had done wrong and kept blaming myself. I then turned the tables and started thinking about her conduct in relation to trust...she had multiple "girls night out", still was friends with ex's, and even went to an after party with a comedian who she was just so shocked came onto her later on in the evening. I didn't question her once about any of this. Definitely the case that she questioned me because of the conduct of her and her friends and she thinks I am no different. Can't imagine seeing her again, would be totally awkward. Even the jokes she would make, at the time, I would try to join in on to make her feel good, now just seem boring and childish. I would like to share song lyrics from my favorite band, Silverchair, that can maybe be therapeutic for some out there. Too Much Of Not Enough She tripped on a hole that I'd dug in the soil To be part of a human garden and I couldn't Stand in the straight postured sun But you stood in the mud which came unsoiled When I came along You see it's good for nothing, good for nothing A close look at something So close It's too much of not enough When all we need is just a taste I strapped myself in for a safe saccharide Before it started I tried to be anything I saw fit And it all seemed to fit but you came undone When I came along Blind white lies and shallow truth Broken strings and stolen youth I've seen too much of not enough but You came much closer than they had before…… You never stop needing And it's good for nothin
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