superman Posted December 11, 2003 Posted December 11, 2003 I would like some more insight on this new issue. What should I do now? I emailed my ex-girlfriend today with an ecard congratulating her on gradutation. She replied back to me with a simple, "thanks for the card. i couldn' t read it all at school because they don't have flash. how are you doing?" So I sent her back another email saying, "Things are good." and I told her about my dog having to go into surgery. Again she replied promptly saying, "if you don't want to email me then why are you? why are you being so short? i don't get it." Now I was simply following her lead. She said nothing to me about how she was doing or anything like that. She simply thanked me and asked how I was doing. So I replied in the way I felt the conversation is going. So again I emailed her back and wrote all about how I was doing good and keeping busy with a lot of different things. I ended it with, "How are you doing?" I got nothing back. What does this mean? I have narrowed it down to two possibilities. 1. She is not doing OK and it is killing her that I am doing good. (I have noting to go off of on this other than a hunch.) or 2. She is in the mindset that she wants nothing to do with me and is looking for anything to jump all over me for. (Now in the beginning of the breakup she told me I had done nothing wrong. But as we took more time she started acting more like I was the evil one.) I am not really sure which one it is but I would guess it is one or the other or somewhere in between. I can't think of anything else it could be. I don't know if she read the message in the ecard or not but it was very friend oriented. I said I was proud of her and all her accomplishments and I would like to take her to dinner sometime to congratulate her but if she didn't I understood. What do you guys think?
Nexa Posted December 11, 2003 Posted December 11, 2003 Hhmmm? Sounds like to me that it might be choice #2. But she did ask you, "why are you e-mailing me if you don't want to and that they are too short?" I don't know looks like she is a little conserned about the lenght of your messeges? Why did she want nice long lengthy ones? It sure does sound like it to me. Did she break up with you first? I'm sorry to say but I think the girl has lost the sparks for you, she is slowly slipping away. It seems she wants to move on with her life. Because I know you also said that the conversations between you two were becoming of fewer words. So that is what clues me in. Well I hope that gave some sort of help. I know how ya feel when you really one talk to someone that you care about and they just don't want anything to do with you. Just take care now, Nexa
dyermaker Posted December 11, 2003 Posted December 11, 2003 I think she might have been threatened by you contacting her, in that she's severed an emotional tie within herself to you, and since you've (in her eyes) tried to rekindle that tie, she's only trying to sever it again. Just act like it doesn't matter to you, which it shouldn't, and she'll end up the freak, not you. addition: Don't take her out to dinner, it'll be wierd.
Author superman Posted December 11, 2003 Author Posted December 11, 2003 Yesterday I would have agreed with both of you and just moved on because she hurt me again. Today I got another email from her. It was a long detailed email about how hectic her life has been lately and nothing seems to be going right. She asked me about when my friends wedding was (which I have already asked someone else to go because I hadn't heard anything from her in a month). And she ended the email with, "I wonder and think about you." So I am starting to lean towards #1. What do you think?
Author superman Posted December 16, 2003 Author Posted December 16, 2003 OK so the email exchange was very confusing to me. Like I said we went back and forth. She emailed me about 4 times last Thursday. Each with one line usually consisting of a question about what I have been up to. I liked it at first because it felt like the communication was finally going to open up a little. But then it just stopped. No reason. It kind of upset me because I haven't heard anything since and if she wants to know so much why doesn't she just call me? So I haven't heard anything since and I still don't have an answer for whether she will go to dinner with me or not. What does this mean? and What should I do about it?
Arabess Posted December 16, 2003 Posted December 16, 2003 There's an old saying Superman.....you give an inch and they want a mile? In your case, I think it may be the other way around. She wants to share an inch of friendship for old times sake....and you keep trying to make a mile out of it. Reading between the lines and trying to second guess another person will only end up driving you nuts. You made a nice gesture in asking to take her to dinner....she didn't confirm those plans. It's time for you to let the relationship go. It's not an easy thing to do. I KNOW how difficult it is. But at some point everyone has to accept the truth for what it is...and LOTS of times.....relationships just END! It's sad....but it's reality. You seem like a really nice guy. Give yourself a time to get over this other thing....then find someone who wants to be with you and will appreciate all the love you have to give.
Author superman Posted December 17, 2003 Author Posted December 17, 2003 For some reason I know I will never get over this. I know how I feel and I know how I am. Deep down inside I will never give up. I have only loved one other person before. She hurt me time and time again before I ever gave up on her and it still wasn't easy. With the girl I am in love with now I feel like I never had a chance to work things out. I never even did anything wrong. I hate knowing that this relationship will end without ever having the chance to reach its full potential. I may move on but I know I will never completely be over her. She was everything I wanted and more. I know that I was what she wanted but she got cold feet for some reason. Without a doubt a day is going to come when she looks back and realizes how happy I made her and how good she had it. I know it will happen. I am scared she will not do anyting about it. I know there are other great girls out there and I believe I will find one. But that is not the point. I am in love with her. I know I always will be and I know she always will be with me. So why can't we be together? How can I turn this around? I just want a chance. If I fail I can accept it. But how can I get a chance?
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