sean1970 Posted November 12, 2009 Posted November 12, 2009 Ive read CaliGuy's 'Second Chances" (repeatedly) and I did well with most of the points... Lost 22 lbs, in the gym daily, new clothes, picked up new hobbies, killed some bad habits, very limited contact (almost always from her), started to hang more with my bothers and sister... The two that I did not do well with... "Let go" and I mean really let go... It was very hard to think about my life without her and emotions ruled my every action/motivation for months. The other was when we did see each other, only once did the relationship not become a toxic topic and destroyed the meeting... Two seemingly good meetings turned into a sh*t storm resulting in her wanting to make a quick exit from talk of the relationship.... The last meeting was Oct 12 and her last (****ty) text was a week later... I did not answer, have not heard from her since. I guess I'm writing this to say I have learned something from the guide and, even though I read it after making the cited mistakes (and others), it still has value for me. The title might give the wrong impression as it is more about self awareness, respect, and improvement... Improvement being a organic thing that never really ends (and improvement that might even mean picking better mates). With these things being healthy, attraction is a natural inevitable result. A better title might be, "Giving yourself a chance." In any event, thank you sir. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t84894/
GrayClouds Posted November 12, 2009 Posted November 12, 2009 Ive read CaliGuy's 'Second Chances" (repeatedly) and I did well with most of the points... Lost 22 lbs, in the gym daily, new clothes, picked up new hobbies, killed some bad habits, very limited contact (almost always from her), started to hang more with my bothers and sister... The two that I did not do well with... "Let go" and I mean really let go... It was very hard to think about my life without her and emotions ruled my every action/motivation for months. The other was when we did see each other, only once did the relationship not become a toxic topic and destroyed the meeting... Two seemingly good meetings turned into a sh*t storm resulting in her wanting to make a quick exit from talk of the relationship.... The last meeting was Oct 12 and her last (****ty) text was a week later... I did not answer, have not heard from her since. I guess I'm writing this to say I have learned something from the guide and, even though I read it after making the cited mistakes (and others), it still has value for me. The title might give the wrong impression as it is more about self awareness, respect, and improvement... Improvement being a organic thing that never really ends (and improvement that might even mean picking better mates). With these things being healthy, attraction is a natural inevitable result. A better title might be, "Giving yourself a chance." In any event, thank you sir. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t84894/ A very good post
CaliGuy Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 Ive read CaliGuy's 'Second Chances" (repeatedly) and I did well with most of the points... Lost 22 lbs, in the gym daily, new clothes, picked up new hobbies, killed some bad habits, very limited contact (almost always from her), started to hang more with my bothers and sister... The two that I did not do well with... "Let go" and I mean really let go... It was very hard to think about my life without her and emotions ruled my every action/motivation for months. This is normal. You're coming off an addiction, just like a drug addict. That is why NC is so important. It's the same as going COLD TURKEY. You can make it without her, I promise you. I've done it, several times now. It gets easier when you learn how to discipline yourself. The other was when we did see each other, only once did the relationship not become a toxic topic and destroyed the meeting... Two seemingly good meetings turned into a sh*t storm resulting in her wanting to make a quick exit from talk of the relationship.... Stop hanging out with her is the answer. NC is important because it stops you from making mistakes like this that lead to your healing being delayed. Treat her like the plague and stay far, far away. The last meeting was Oct 12 and her last (****ty) text was a week later... I did not answer, have not heard from her since. I guess I'm writing this to say I have learned something from the guide and, even though I read it after making the cited mistakes (and others), it still has value for me. Glad to hear it. The title might give the wrong impression as it is more about self awareness, respect, and improvement... Improvement being a organic thing that never really ends (and improvement that might even mean picking better mates). With these things being healthy, attraction is a natural inevitable result. A better title might be, "Giving yourself a chance." Ah Daniel-san, I see you get it. I was PURPOSELY misleading with the title because I know most people who come to LS for the first few times are looking for validation and way to fix what they feel is broken rather than fixing themselves and moving on. I freely admit to being misleading, but it's the only way to get people who need the information to read it. In any event, thank you sir. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t84894/ You are most welcome. Glad it helped!
Recommended Posts