Author boldjack Posted November 13, 2009 Author Posted November 13, 2009 OMG Lizzie, I had forgotten!! There was a lake resort near where I lived, that saw a lot of business from me, too. I was there often enough to have preferences as to which cabin, I would rent.:laugh: BNB , any kids they might have , entered into it , for sure. But it was more a disgust for them as people of low morals (as if I were any better), and also their husbands. for not keeping their women from cheating. There is a very personal reason why I felt this way, but I don't want to get into that on open forum.
bentnotbroken Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 OMG Lizzie, I had forgotten!! There was a lake resort near where I lived, that saw a lot of business from me, too. I was there often enough to have preferences as to which cabin, I would rent.:laugh: BNB , any kids they might have , entered into it , for sure. But it was more a disgust for them as people of low morals (as if I were any better), and also their husbands. for not keeping their women from cheating. There is a very personal reason why I felt this way, but I don't want to get into that on open forum. Thanks Jack.
OWoman Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 Since I've been on LS, I've noticed that in a number of affairs, the sex takes place in the home of the married partner. When I was the OM, in the affairs, I would NEVER have gone to the MW's home to have sex. I can only remember 2 or 3 times where I've done this. I'm interested in the opinions of other OW/OM's. Where did you have sex? At your place, the WS's, the motel or "other". I've never been in a motel and am not entirely sure what that is. That said, in the beginning it was the same as with all my MMs - their place, or somewhere neutral. My place was strictly off limits - as was my private life. They had my email address, no phone numbers (I'd withhold my number if I phoned them) and no idea where I lived. Later on, as it progressed from part-time to wanting more, it became "all of the above", depending on where we were at the time. Which is how it still is now we're M
confusedinkansas Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 I've never thought of the "marital bed" being such a sacred place. I still think it's just a bed. A Bed, is a Bed, is A Bed. In the beginning we would go to nice hotels, my place (my husband traveled a great deal) & of course the car/SUV (how high school, I know) After his wife left him, (for another man) we met once at his house (I was the one that felt weird even though she had moved out half of the stuff) After he moved into his own condo, that was the standard meeting place, every weekend.
skylarblue Posted November 14, 2009 Posted November 14, 2009 Since I've been on LS, I've noticed that in a number of affairs, the sex takes place in the home of the married partner… Where did you have sex? At your place, the WS's, the motel or "other". At the risk of being bashed for my “harsh” honesty, I have had sex in my MM home and in his marital bed. Only twice, each time for one week during summer break when the W and kids were visiting relatives. I take it as a compliment that he would do that. Sometimes he comes to my place, but doesn’t really like to because his car is distinctive and he has to go thru front gate and desk security. Usually we use his friend’s house because the friend is usually gone most of the year. However, we also have sex just parked somewhere sometimes.
Mr. Lucky Posted November 14, 2009 Posted November 14, 2009 I take it as a compliment that he would do that. If it's such a complimentary affirmation of your relationship, why not just come on over while the wife and kids are there? My ex-W actually stated in MC that the fact that she and her AP never had sex in our house was proof that their affair wasn't that big of a deal. He was also married but I never thought to ask if they did it at his house. Missed opportunity I guess ... Mr. Lucky
Author boldjack Posted November 14, 2009 Author Posted November 14, 2009 A motel is a hotel on the highway, or across from the truck stop. Being Upper class, and having a "Snooty", affair, I would not expect you to know what that is, Owoman;):D
always_searching Posted November 14, 2009 Posted November 14, 2009 (edited) Since I've been on LS, I've noticed that in a number of affairs, the sex takes place in the home of the married partner. When I was the OM, in the affairs, I would NEVER have gone to the MW's home to have sex. I can only remember 2 or 3 times where I've done this. I'm interested in the opinions of other OW/OM's. Where did you have sex? At your place, the WS's, the motel or "other". I'm a single woman, and though I've never had a PA beyond kissing a married man, I've been invited to a MM's house while his six kids were home and his wife was at work. Looking back on it, I should have been disgusted. I wasn't. I actually contemplated it. Thank God I was young(er) and too afraid to go through with having a PA with a married person. Seriously, if you are going to have an affair, at least have the decency to get a hotel room rather than enter into the wife's (or husband's) domain--ESPECIALLY if they have children. Oh, another MM invited me to come over to his place of employment to have an affair--my first time would have been on top of his desk. Come on! At least pay for a freaking hotel room! Again, I'm SO glad that I never went through with any PA and don't recommend that anyone else go through with it either, but if you do: offer to pay for a hotel room. Edited November 14, 2009 by always_searching
skylarblue Posted November 14, 2009 Posted November 14, 2009 Originally Posted by Mr. Lucky If it's such a complimentary affirmation of your relationship, why not just come on over while the wife and kids are there? Yeah, like that’s going to be a reality. My ex-W actually stated in MC that the fact that she and her AP never had sex in our house was proof that their affair wasn't that big of a deal. Even though I like it, it is kinda f*cked up when a MM takes the OW into their marital bed. It seems like it’s a whole higher disregard to the BS than just having an A, so I can understand where your xW is coming from. But that’s why I take it as a compliment.
mybrowneyedgirl Posted November 14, 2009 Posted November 14, 2009 Interesting, one of the biggest lies my xMM told his wife after dday was that we never did it at his house. He always wanted it to be at his house. The majority of the times was in the marital bed. But I think she believed him when he told her it wasnt.
Lucky_One Posted November 14, 2009 Posted November 14, 2009 There is something so intimate about the marital bed. That's the place where we are most vulnerable, the place where we cry on our partner's chest at the end of a horrible day, the place where you snuggle and talk about what to get the kids for Christmas, the place where you retreat on Sunday afternoons with the paper, a cup of tea, lazy lovemaking and a nap. the place where you get the giggles when you talk about the crazy neighbor's antics chasing the dog out of his yard, the place where arguments are made up and hurt feelings are erased. THAT'S why BSs think of that as such a betrayal. Honestly, although we are not married yet, if I knew my BF had another woman in either of our beds (his in his house and mine in my house) at this point in our relationship, I would be crushed. That is OUR place. The place where WE make memories, not where he lays on his back with my head on his shoulder while he thinks about when Suzy was there that afternoon and how she grabbed the headboard.
Lizzie60 Posted November 14, 2009 Posted November 14, 2009 The thread has shifted towards 'THE BED'... I agree with the poster who said a bed is just that a bed.. I had sex in the 'marital bed' a couple of times.. I didn't even think about it.. it was just a bed... I'm not that 'sentimental' I guess. I'm just more comfortable at MY place.. I can set the 'mood' the way I want it..
OWoman Posted November 14, 2009 Posted November 14, 2009 A motel is a hotel on the highway, or across from the truck stop. Being Upper class, and having a "Snooty", affair, I would not expect you to know what that is, Owoman;):D Upper class??? :lmao: :lmao: Not sure what was "snooty" about any of my As either, but thanks for the info on motels. I don't think we have them in my home country. There are plenty of flea pit hotels in one horse towns though... usually just a couple of rooms above a bar, to qualify it to be a "hotel" and get a liquor licence. I'm a latecomer to the world of hotels so I don't know too much about the things, and I'm not too comfortable in them either. I hate someone else making my bed, and I feel seriously uncomfortable when a gaggle of flunkies leap to attention to open the door for you or to press the button to summon the lift. I can see why some MMs would prefer hotels for the anonymity, but when we were travelling, we always preferred the intimacy of a B&B or guesthouse, or if it was a long stay, we'd get a holiday apartment or a cottage. We have some really nice memories of charming places we've stayed in.
OWoman Posted November 14, 2009 Posted November 14, 2009 There is something so intimate about the marital bed. That's the place where we are most vulnerable, the place where we cry on our partner's chest at the end of a horrible day, the place where you snuggle and talk about what to get the kids for Christmas, the place where you retreat on Sunday afternoons with the paper, a cup of tea, lazy lovemaking and a nap. the place where you get the giggles when you talk about the crazy neighbor's antics chasing the dog out of his yard, the place where arguments are made up and hurt feelings are erased. THAT'S why BSs think of that as such a betrayal. Honestly, although we are not married yet, if I knew my BF had another woman in either of our beds (his in his house and mine in my house) at this point in our relationship, I would be crushed. That is OUR place. The place where WE make memories, not where he lays on his back with my head on his shoulder while he thinks about when Suzy was there that afternoon and how she grabbed the headboard. Interesting. I think my refusal to have any MMs (before things with my H got "serious") in my bed, or even my house, was based on a similar feeling. It was MY space, and I wasn't about to open it to any old pair of legs with a hard-on.
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