boldjack Posted November 12, 2009 Posted November 12, 2009 Since I've been on LS, I've noticed that in a number of affairs, the sex takes place in the home of the married partner. When I was the OM, in the affairs, I would NEVER have gone to the MW's home to have sex. I can only remember 2 or 3 times where I've done this. I'm interested in the opinions of other OW/OM's. Where did you have sex? At your place, the WS's, the motel or "other".
mybrowneyedgirl Posted November 12, 2009 Posted November 12, 2009 is there an "all of the above" option. i know. totally disgusting. the hotel was only used when we went somewhere and stayed together. not an hourly hotel for a booty call type thing. (again, i know this doenst make it any better). just answering the question. most of the time it was at one of our houses.
someonesangel Posted November 12, 2009 Posted November 12, 2009 My place, which in many ways was ours as we spent our time here and when out in Hotels (not motels) while away on business trips. He asked me if I would go to his place as he really wanted me to see where he lived.... was the one thing I would not do. Could not do it and didn't want to feel the guilt associated of being in her home. Silly maybe, as I was part of the A, but was a line in the sand for me even though I knew he had entertained there with "quick fix's" many times and she did end up learning of them as well... just glad I wasn't thrown into that area as well.
Author boldjack Posted November 12, 2009 Author Posted November 12, 2009 MBEG, I've done "all of the above", too, but to be in the Mw's bed that she shares with Hubby, seemed to me like adding insult to injury. I had one MW, who always insisted on making me breakfast after we finished. How weird is that? I always preferred my place, or possibly third row from the back, in the balcony of the local theater.
Lucky_One Posted November 12, 2009 Posted November 12, 2009 We met halfway in the middle a lot for lunch, and then get a room somewhere. We ended up with a place of "our" own in his town. Never at MM's home. At my home many times, but the drive was 3 hours RT, which was a pain for him. The 3 hour RT drive for me was a pain sometimes, but his city was one of the places that i traveled for work so I could usually make it convenient because of work.
Dexter Morgan Posted November 12, 2009 Posted November 12, 2009 Since I've been on LS, I've noticed that in a number of affairs, the sex takes place in the home of the married partner. When I was the OM, in the affairs, I would NEVER have gone to the MW's home to have sex. I would hope not! Wouldn't want to risk the husband coming home, becoming enraged, and tearing your pee pee off:o
LadyDi Posted November 12, 2009 Posted November 12, 2009 Nooooo, never at either one of our homes. Ever.
Spoiled Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 My xMM and I had a long distance A and would meet at a plush hotel for the day and just checked out early. We were out for lunch, movies, etc. holding hands and more in public for half the day. He refused to make love to me in a car. Are there really hourly motels? There is NO WAY I would have allowed him to make love to me in my home. And I would have never wanted to make love to him at his home. I was already wrong for sleeping with my friend's H, at least I could stay out of our house.
Author boldjack Posted November 13, 2009 Author Posted November 13, 2009 Dex, the number of men who have gotten close to my "pee-pee", is somewhere between 0 and none. Lots of guys have tried kicking my ass, but after all these years it's still there , unkicked.
BenThereDunThat Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 Never did the "deed" at "his" house. I know he wanted to. He was so proud of his place. He "affaired down" and I knew what he was (or what he THOUGHT) he was doing. He wanted SO BADLY to show me his house. Because he moved from a big city to a not-so-big city (after having grown up in a tiny city) and he was able to buy more house with his equity. Either way. I don't care if it was a trailer. It may sound funny to have "standards" or "morals" where that is concerned. But to my mind, from the beginning, this was clandestine, this was 2 adults being stupid. I didn't give a sh*t where he lived. Truly. I grew up in a beautiful (new, at the time) home, had a dream bedroom, we had a houseboat, ate beautiful meals (thanks, Mom!). I just had a couple of parents that didn't really know what higher education was all about.
Spoiled Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 Dex, the number of men who have gotten close to my "pee-pee", is somewhere between 0 and none. Lots of guys have tried kicking my ass, but after all these years it's still there , unkicked. My H would have shot my xMM and me if he had caught him in our house. I was stupid for having an A and knew the potential of getting caught. But he was not going to catch us in our home.
Author boldjack Posted November 13, 2009 Author Posted November 13, 2009 Hiya BTDT!!:) Yeah, it was always so much easier to come back to my place, which had the virtue of seclusion, that I rarely bothered to even get a room. Some of the MW's would even be nervous, doing it in their hometown, so we would have to go away, but mostly they came to me.
BenThereDunThat Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 Hey, Boldjack! No, what I'm trying to say (and apparently failing badly), is that, um, not gonna do that on your marital bed. Like, there was still this "honorable" part of me that couldn't 'disrespect' her that way. And yes, I completely see the irony in that statement. I don't know. As low as I was at that point, there was still the voice inside of me that screamed out, still this voice in me that saw him for the letch that he was/is.
Author boldjack Posted November 13, 2009 Author Posted November 13, 2009 I know, BTDT, but it still amazes me that some MW's didn't have a problem with screwing me with their wedding pictures and children's pictures, looking down on us. Yuck!!
bentnotbroken Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 I know, BTDT, but it still amazes me that some MW's didn't have a problem with screwing me with their wedding pictures and children's pictures, looking down on us. Yuck!! I thought about this on different occasions as this was the case in my situation. I wondered how they both could do it in each others homes with family pictures, memories, family heirlooms surrounding them. Not to mention the possibility of being busted by driving kids and spouses with flexible schedules. I am from the country and I was always taught that dogs don't crap where they eat and sleep, I was wrong.
Author boldjack Posted November 13, 2009 Author Posted November 13, 2009 I agree BNB. It is just too sleazy, even for me. Mind you, at the time, I would have screwed her, with her husband looking on, but I was all hormones, back then.
bentnotbroken Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 I appreciate the thread. I tells me that even those who might do it, aren't sure why they do. That's another piece of the puzzle that I can stop looking for. I'm good with that:) Thanks.
mybrowneyedgirl Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 we started out not doing it in our "beds". maybe the couch or the guest bedroom etc. at the end we did it wherever. ive spent many a night in his bed at his home. woke up the next morning to him cooking me breakfast. didnt start out that way but after a while we longed for that feeling of living together and being a real couple. its sad now that i think about it, but the truth.
Author boldjack Posted November 13, 2009 Author Posted November 13, 2009 You see MBEG, I never wanted that at all. I wanted their bodies, and nothing more. I most certainly did not want to know about their marriages. It's sad but true, that underneath my lust, I held them in profound contempt. The married ones, not the single girls. For me, having sex with a married woman, was slumming. The only person more vile than they were, was me.
2.50 a gallon Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 After the breakup of my marriage I went after the wives of two associate OM's. One was a neighbor, we shared a bedroom wall. Made him listen, and also used their bed. The second was one of her co-workers, their bedroom. I also overheard a couple of my co-workers husbands put me down. They were suits, their bedroom, with pictures and wedding rings. A big turn on for awhile. After about a year I out grew this fetish and moved on. I never was big on hotels. I had a small RV, so could get a lunch hour quickie in the parking lot, a local park, or right outside the bar. Rockin RV was the next fetish I much preferred my place, and breakfast in bed.
2.50 a gallon Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 That is something I never understood. I started out being a nice guy and had very little success with the ladies. Which led to me not caring. I soon discovered the less I cared the more action I got. Some of them even got off on contempt and name calling. I have no regrets.
AH7 Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 I would never see my lover at my home. That would be absolute stupidity. We normally use his place. If it wasn't available I would see him at a decent hotel. However, I think that would diminish my enjoyment somewhat. One of my married GFs frequently used a divorced GFs apt to see her MM. That worked out pretty well for them.
blinded Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 You see MBEG, I never wanted that at all. I wanted their bodies, and nothing more. I most certainly did not want to know about their marriages. It's sad but true, that underneath my lust, I held them in profound contempt. The married ones, not the single girls. For me, having sex with a married woman, was slumming. The only person more vile than they were, was me. Interesting that you say this. Did you know this at the time you were with these women or was it after the fact? Just curious. It hurts to hear this as a WS, but on the flip side it's a good dose of honesty. Honesty is something not seen much in an A. For me, our homes were off limits-not even an option.
bentnotbroken Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 Jack, I have a question. I understand your feelings of contempt. Do the children play into it at all. I mean, my home is where children live. The places that they had sex, our children would lie in those same places(her children in her home)other family members would gather and hang out in the same places. Do you think that was ever an issue with the person who's home you were in. To see my children in the beds that he slept with her in made my skin crawl. The charities must have loved the day I cleaned my house and bought new furniture. Just curious.
Lizzie60 Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 Most of the time it's my place.. but it's been hotels, their place (rare), their cottage...
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