anne1707 Posted November 14, 2009 Posted November 14, 2009 i guess to say the original thoughts in a more blunt way....would anyone who was already exposed be stupid enough to continue contact via a route that they know their spouse is checking? Yes some people are that "stupid". There are examples here on LS of people who say they are doing NC but keep breaking it. Some even try to deny that they are breaking NC even when they post about it on here so who knows what they tell their BS.
ADF Posted November 15, 2009 Posted November 15, 2009 What is really disturbing about this issue is how people no longer have any sense of a right to privacy. They think nothing of snooping through other people's private things, nor do they find it surprising other people have done the same to them. It is really sad. I guess that's what happens when a whole generation grows up with random locker searches, random drug tests, and guilty-'til-proven innocent zero tolerance policies. We're raising our kids these days to be prisoners, not citizens.
2sure Posted November 16, 2009 Posted November 16, 2009 What is really disturbing about this issue is how people no longer have any sense of a right to privacy. They think nothing of snooping through other people's private things, nor do they find it surprising other people have done the same to them. It isnt "snooping" when each spouse has complete access to the other's stuff. Thats the point. Especially after infidelity. Its honesty and openess...a part of intimacy in a marriage. Its no coincidence that often the spouse requiring and demanding the most privacy ...has something to hide. Why on earth would you choose to even want to hide anything from the one person you have chosen to be your partner in this life?? The honesty, the openness, the intimacy..are all freeing things to those of us that are capable of such a partnership and nothing less is to be accepted. Your spouse is not "other people."
Author mybrowneyedgirl Posted November 16, 2009 Author Posted November 16, 2009 2sure - i totally agree. take my affair out of the picture and my husband is the one i share EVERYTHING with. he knows my deepest secrets, thoughts, hopes dreams. i have no reason to keep anything from him. he even knows the secrets that my girlfriends tell me. hes the one person that i can share everything with, never be judged, know it will stay safe with him. so of course i have no reason to not allow him access to everything. (unless there was something i was trying to hide...like the affair).
2sure Posted November 16, 2009 Posted November 16, 2009 Yep, its something to strive for. That has been a revelation to me. I don't think my husband or myself had any idea how important and what a gift a relationship like that would be like. It doesnt "just happen" either (I dont think)...you can love someone with all your heart but unless you are both personally capable of this kind of intimacy...there is going to be a problem or an emptiness. Its a good lesson for all of us, regardless of when or how you learn it.
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