Author betamanlet Posted November 13, 2009 Author Posted November 13, 2009 Oh goodness no, I'll never get over the fact that a man who repulses me, who I wouldn't date to save my life, wouldn't date me back! Sob! I'll be over here crushing on the enlightened, liberal men who don't eat sentient beings. Bonus points if they have a hair color not found in nature. Methinks I'm looking for a level of discourse not to be found here. I need to go read something on the internet with a brain behind it... Let's think logically here. It repulses you that someone like me thinks being bipolar is a dealbreaker. Bipolar disorder is a VERY SERIOUS mental problem that causes huge problems in the behaviors of the person who has it, which also impacts the other person in the relationship. I've experienced this personally. Many others have. THere's tons of literature on this. Yet your dealbreaker is someone who wears running shoes while not running.
thegreatmoose Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 Ironically, here are a couple of my dealbreakers Women who have way too many dealbreakers - I don't like it when I'm pressured to be perfect and trying to meet someone's ridiculously high standards Women who don't have any dealbreakers - I don't like it when she has absolutely no idea what she wants
sedgwick Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 (edited) Bipolar disorder is a VERY SERIOUS mental problem that causes huge problems in the behaviors of the person who has it, which also impacts the other person in the relationship. I've experienced this personally. Many others have. THere's tons of literature on this. You mean like the literature to which I linked you, the literature I will reiterate I've spent seven years studying, and assume you've read? Are you ready to discuss it in detail yet? If not, you're simply revealing that you actually HAVEN'T read any of the current texts, in which case you're just repeating the same things over and over and making yourself look rather boorish. And in trying again to tell me that bipolar disorder is a "VERY SERIOUS mental problem," you are a) insulting me, my personal experience as a person who has the illness, and my seven years of study and b) completely ignoring the questions I've asked you. If I had cancer and had been through extensive chemo and radiation, would you be trying to tell me all about cancer because you know some people who had it, or would you respect that I might, having been through it, know just an EENSY bit more about the illness than you do? If you found that a brain surgeon who had herself had brain surgery was writing a book on her years of study and experience, would you try to tell her that you know more about brain surgery because you found a google link about it? This, my friend, is the same thing you're doing right now, and it shows a remarkable lack of insight. I will not continue this discussion until you're ready to step up to an informed and thoughtful level of discourse, with a strong foundation in the Jamison/Johns Hopkins textbook. Edited November 13, 2009 by sedgwick
DanielMadr Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 being untrustworthy on a lighter note, i once saw a guy casually, for a couple of weeks or so but i wasnt in love or anything like that. anyway, i was in the bathroom and he went for a wee, i turned around to see him sitting down, like a little boy having a wee. i found it the most un-masculine thing i'd ever seen and instantly went off him. strange cos i'd never thought about it before so I guess sometimes we dont know what puts us off until it happens! Maybe he went for a wee but #2 was already licking his underpants and he didn't want to risk it. When you loose one muscle the other might go loose as well. Is this relevation making you feel better towards him?
CLC2008 Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 Let's think logically here. It repulses you that someone like me thinks being bipolar is a dealbreaker. Bipolar disorder is a VERY SERIOUS mental problem that causes huge problems in the behaviors of the person who has it, which also impacts the other person in the relationship. I've experienced this personally. Many others have. THere's tons of literature on this. Yet your dealbreaker is someone who wears running shoes while not running. Ooof burnnn...But totally true (as you can see I try not to take sides)
Johnny M Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 Personally, I don't date republicans or hunters. Like you've ever met a republican or hunter in NYC...might as well say you don't date eskimos
thegreatmoose Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 So it's not okay to hold someone's bipolar, something that can and will affect you, and your partner, against that person, but it's completely fine to hold running shoes against a guy? Neither is ok to hold against someone. I would never wear running shoes on a date or to a nice restaurant, but it's silly to hold wearing running shoes against someone any time when they are not running. It is equally silly to hold bipolar against someone if there are getting the proper treatments for it. These people can live very normal lives.
thegreatmoose Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 Maybe he went for a wee but #2 was already licking his underpants and he didn't want to risk it. When you loose one muscle the other might go loose as well. Is this relevation making you feel better towards him? She said "on a lighter note", but it's not at all on a lighter note for men who better make sure they stand up 100% of the time to go or else. Both men and women so often have such silly dealbreakers. It's not silly to the one thrown out, often not knowing what the heck they did. No wonder it's tough to find people.
sedgwick Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 I would never wear running shoes on a date or to a nice restaurant, but it's silly to hold wearing running shoes against someone any time when they are not running. It is equally silly to hold bipolar against someone if there are getting the proper treatments for it. These people can live very normal lives. First of all, the running shoes thing was a JOKE! I can't believe nobody thought it might be. And thank you, I am living a very normal life! I just want some credit for staying on top of this illness and understanding it was important for me and those I love that I be well. The battles I've fought with health insurance and medication side effects and my own demons in intensive therapy were all because I wanted that normal life, and I wanted to be a good friend and partner to those I love. I'm not just some crazy cheating liar who can never be otherwise simply because I meet the diagnostic criteria for bipolar disorder. What I am, instead, is a person with a manageable illness, who is vigilant about that management.
PinkToes Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 Like you've ever met a republican or hunter in NYC...might as well say you don't date eskimos Well, I might make an exception for that Palin chick's husband; he's kind of hot.
Ody Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 Like you've ever met a republican or hunter in NYC...might as well say you don't date eskimos I suggest you check the political party of our last two mayors, or the deer population control policies of nearby suburbs...
thegreatmoose Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 First of all, the running shoes thing was a JOKE! I can't believe nobody thought it might be. And thank you, I am living a very normal life! I just want some credit for staying on top of this illness and understanding it was important for me and those I love that I be well. The battles I've fought with health insurance and medication side effects and my own demons in intensive therapy were all because I wanted that normal life, and I wanted to be a good friend and partner to those I love. I'm not just some crazy cheating liar who can never be otherwise simply because I meet the diagnostic criteria for bipolar disorder. What I am, instead, is a person with a manageable illness, who is vigilant about that management. Thansk for the clarification about the running shoes. It's sometimes hard to tell what's a joke and what's not on a message board. I'll give you all the credit in the world for staying on top of your illness! It's got to be a battle in so many different ways, yet you are doing great at managing it. If a man can't accept this, he is the one who is not good enough for you.
crazy_grl Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 Smoking Drugs Excessive Drinking Racist Bisexual Cynical Anger Issues / Controlling Hairy or ugly feet Listens to Rush Limbaugh or Glenn Beck (other than for the hilarity) Watches Bill Maher 3. Vegetarian (for some reason, vegetarians have bad skin and their vaginas taste like stale lettuce) I'm calling BS on this. I have quite nice skin, and, putting this as non-vulgar as possible, I've been complimented by more than one boyfriend on my "taste". Men have seemed quite pleased with it. Vegetarian (I'll eat and cook that way 90% of the time, but I want to indulge in foie gras and burgers now and then!) Girl, you can eat burgers on your own! Why would you limit your partner because they won't eat a burger with you when you won't want them 90% of the time? Or are you assuming all vegetarians wouldn't "allow" you to eat one? The guys I date eat burgers and meat whenever they want without any complaints from me.
DanielMadr Posted November 14, 2009 Posted November 14, 2009 Hairy or ugly feet bisexuals WTF? It is oxymoron. Hetero don't shave legs. btw bisexual does not exist - once a guy enjoys sucking youknowhat he is a homo, end of disscussion.
crazy_grl Posted November 14, 2009 Posted November 14, 2009 (edited) WTF? It is oxymoron. Hetero don't shave legs. I said hairy FEET not hairy LEGS. Most guys don't have that much hair on their feet. I've seen it, and I get turned off when the leg hair keeps running all the way down a guy's feet instead of stopping at the ankles. (Or worse, it gets thicker on their feet.) Can't help it. It's a total turn off. Maybe it's shallow of me, but I wasn't able to look past it with one guy I'd dated after he wore sandals on the 3-4 date. Are you one of those guys? Edited November 14, 2009 by crazy_grl
DanielMadr Posted November 14, 2009 Posted November 14, 2009 I said hairy FEET not hairy LEGS. Most guys don't have that much hair on their feet. I've seen it, and I get turned off when the leg hair keeps running all the way down a guy's feet instead of stopping at the ankles. (Or worse, it gets thicker on their feet.) Can't help it. It's a total turn off. Maybe it's shallow of me, but I wasn't able to look past it with one guy I'd dated after he wore sandals on the 3-4 date. Are you one of those guys? I am too big for a hobit, so I guess not. I have never seen a hobit. Or do you mind the little hair on top of hough and toes? Because if you do, it must be very dificult to find a guy hairless there I guess.
DanielMadr Posted November 14, 2009 Posted November 14, 2009 List of dealbreakers: the obvious things like bitchy, sadistic, spiteful, hairy legs and armpits etc. thin lips hairy arms unless the hairs are blond the look and attitude that says 'I know what you want boy, I have you figured out'
pandagirl Posted November 14, 2009 Posted November 14, 2009 Deal breakers: -Racism, bigots, homophobics -Serial cheater -Bad temper Also, to the people who think ALL bipolar people are "crazy," it is not true. The reason why bipolar disorder is so hard to treat, is because many who have it, choose not to get treatment. However, with the right meds and therapy, one can definitely lead a normal life. It's probably the most misunderstood mental disorder there is.
crazy_grl Posted November 14, 2009 Posted November 14, 2009 I have never seen a hobit. Or do you mind the little hair on top of hough and toes? Because if you do, it must be very dificult to find a guy hairless there I guess. No, I don't mind the normal amount of hair that guys have on their feet. Just excessive hair. Only one guy I've ever dated had feet hairy enough that it bothered me. I know it's a deal breaker for me, because I liked him well enough otherwise. As soon as I saw his feet, all attraction was gone. Same thing with a couple guys that just had ugly feet.
DanielMadr Posted November 14, 2009 Posted November 14, 2009 No, I don't mind the normal amount of hair that guys have on their feet. Just excessive hair. Only one guy I've ever dated had feet hairy enough that it bothered me. I know it's a deal breaker for me, because I liked him well enough otherwise. As soon as I saw his feet, all attraction was gone. Same thing with a couple guys that just had ugly feet. Poor little hobit:D What about morton's toe? also called Rome's foot as opposed to Egyptian's foot. It is when second toe is bigger than thumb. It is more likely to occur in celtic gene pool and some antropologists think it might be a sign of hunters, because it gives you advantage when running. But cowards run too, so I'm not sure it is all over positive.
ADF Posted November 14, 2009 Posted November 14, 2009 what trait is an ABSOLUTE dealbreaker for you? Daddy issues. 1) Dishonesty 2) Cheating 3) Religious 4) Addict 5) Controlling
crazy_grl Posted November 14, 2009 Posted November 14, 2009 (edited) Poor little hobit:D Nah, he actually does okay for a hobbit. I still talk to him, and he's got a pretty cute chick now. She's sweet too. What about morton's toe? also called Rome's foot as opposed to Egyptian's foot. It is when second toe is bigger than thumb. It is more likely to occur in celtic gene pool and some antropologists think it might be a sign of hunters, because it gives you advantage when running. But cowards run too, so I'm not sure it is all over positive. I didn't know there was a term for that. Didn't want to mention it and offend anybody with that sort of feet, since it's somewhat common. But yeah, it's a turn off. One of my friends has that and when she wears open toed shoes, I have to make an effort not to look at her toes. I know I have a weird feet hang-up, but what can I do? Maybe I just don't like cowards. Edited November 14, 2009 by crazy_grl
Malenfant Posted November 14, 2009 Posted November 14, 2009 Maybe he went for a wee but #2 was already licking his underpants and he didn't want to risk it. When you loose one muscle the other might go loose as well. Is this relevation making you feel better towards him? er... no! 1) having control over bowel movements is also a requirement! lol 2) I would ask the other person to leave the bathroom if i was about to have a dump, even me and my H dont do #2s in front of each other, thats just nasty! lol
Malenfant Posted November 14, 2009 Posted November 14, 2009 She said "on a lighter note", but it's not at all on a lighter note for men who better make sure they stand up 100% of the time to go or else. Both men and women so often have such silly dealbreakers. It's not silly to the one thrown out, often not knowing what the heck they did. No wonder it's tough to find people. thing is TMG, it wasnt something that i had put in the 'dealbreaker' category. it was just a reaction to something that i hadnt anticipated would affect me like that. if i had been really into the guy then it probably would have been different, but neither of us were that bothered so it didnt really matter.
kdark Posted November 14, 2009 Posted November 14, 2009 Dealbreakers for me: Homophobia. If you have a thing against gay people and I find out on the first date, I will probably make fun of you for the rest of the date, then go to thd "bathroom" and leave you with the bill. You are scum. Bush supporter. The George W. variety. Also Glenn Beck and Sarah Palin fans. A girl who spends most of her time on nights and weekends at bars or nightclubs. I won't go to those places anymore and pretend I enjoy it just to try and meet people. I'm done with that scene. Now, some dealmakers for me are as follows: Someone said it before, but non natural hair colors are sexy as hell. I just have to approach a girl and introduce myself if they have the guts to have hair like that. Intelligence. Nothing like a woman who can kick my ass in an intelligent debate, or a woman with a PHD. I am thoroughly disappointed with the women that feel they need to act like they are dumb to impress guys. You girls need to quit that. And finally, bipolar disorder. Something about it just makes me weak in the knees and stiff in my pants. Yummy.
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