sedgwick Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 When manic, bipolars are hyperpromiscuous. You are absolutely guaranteed to get cheated on. I've dated a medicated bipolar and got cheated on. When manic, they are hyper promiscuous. Absolute dealbreaker for me. I have been manic many times and have never, ever cheated. Ever. (Have I been cheated on by the non-bipolar? You betcha.) I don't think there are "absolute guarantees" when it comes to human behavior. Next myth!
CarrieT Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 Lol careful. Some of us 'boys' are more of a man than most you've been with I'd wager. But you're right, it's probably best if young guys stay away from you. I eat you up and use your scrawny bones for toothpicks!
Author betamanlet Posted November 13, 2009 Author Posted November 13, 2009 I have been manic many times and have never, ever cheated. Ever. I don't think there are "absolute guarantees" when it comes to human behavior. Next myth! I'll admit I don't know you, know nothing about you, but one thing I do know is people with bipolar, as I've dated them, I have many relatives with it, and they don't have a very good grasp on reality. My ex would say she didn't cheat, and would convince herself she didn't, but actually had photographs of her having sex with someone else. Bipolars are known to be compulsive liars. Do a google search on bipolar and infidelity and bipolar and lying and there are tons and tons of articles and studies on this.
sedgwick Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 (edited) Do a google search on bipolar and infidelity and bipolar and lying and there are tons and tons of articles and studies on this. My dear, not only am I a bipolar person, I have a book about the illness coming out from a major publisher next year. I've spent seven years researching, interviewing, editing, and, yes, doing a couple of google searches. Do you really think I would have the disorder, work tirelessly to understand and treat it, go through therapy and an onslaught of meds, and somehow know less about it than you, just because you've known a couple of bipolar people? If you'd like a bibliography comprising the current literature on bipolar spectrum disorders, I'm happy to give it to you. I understand that you've been hurt, and black-or-white thinking can come out of that -- for example, ALL women ONLY like tall men, ALL bipolar people WILL cheat on you, etc. It's a very restrictive worldview that only hurts you in the long run. The antidote is to go out there and pile up life experience and listen intently to the stories of other human beings. This is how we learn where the myths lie in our thinking, and this is how we challenge and exorcise them. You'd be shocked how intolerant so many women are of vegetarian men. I adore vegetarian men. You'd be shocked how intolerant so many men are of feminism, the basic tenet of which is that women are people, a concept that should be threatening to no one. Edited November 13, 2009 by sedgwick
Author betamanlet Posted November 13, 2009 Author Posted November 13, 2009 My dear, not only am I a bipolar person, I have a book about the illness coming out from a major publisher next year. I've spent seven years researching, interviewing, editing, and, yes, doing a couple of google searches. Do you really think I would have the disorder, work tirelessly to understand and treat it, go through therapy and an onslaught of meds, and somehow know less about it than you, just because you've known a couple of bipolar people? If you'd like a bibliography comprising the current literature on bipolar spectrum disorders, I'm happy to give it to you. I understand that you've been hurt, and black-or-white thinking can come out of that -- for example, ALL women ONLY like tall men, ALL bipolar people WILL cheat on you, etc. It's a very restrictive worldview that only hurts you in the long run. The antidote is to go out there and pile up life experience and listen intently to the stories of other human beings. This is how we learn where the myths lie in our thinking, and this is how we challenge and exorcise them. I adore vegetarian men. You'd be shocked how intolerant so many men are of feminism, the basic tenet of which is that women are people, a concept that should be threatening to no one. Everyone I know who has been involved with a bipolar has had a nightmare situation. Even people i know who have bipolar even admit they're not capable of a functional relationshp. I have no issue with real equality between the sexes, including equal responsibilities. However I have a problem with wanting special privileges and seeking equality only at the top (notice how the demands are for more female CEOs b ut not more female garbage truck workers?).
CLC2008 Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 I'll admit I don't know you, know nothing about you, but one thing I do know is people with bipolar, as I've dated them, I have many relatives with it, and they don't have a very good grasp on reality. My ex would say she didn't cheat, and would convince herself she didn't, but actually had photographs of her having sex with someone else. Bipolars are known to be compulsive liars. Do a google search on bipolar and infidelity and bipolar and lying and there are tons and tons of articles and studies on this. I think this is a pretty bias statement given the context. That's the same as saying that "men" have a higher percentage of cheating than women because of their genetic code. Women may be emotional, but they also don't get physical erections several times throughout the day...
sedgwick Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 (edited) Everyone I know who has been involved with a bipolar has had a nightmare situation. Even people i know who have bipolar even admit they're not capable of a functional relationshp. I have no issue with real equality between the sexes, including equal responsibilities. However I have a problem with wanting special privileges and seeking equality only at the top (notice how the demands are for more female CEOs b ut not more female garbage truck workers?). I can point you to two exes with whom I had functional relationships, relationships that ended not due to my illness but due to sexual incompatibility in the first and becoming mutually frustrated with the long-distance thing in the second. They didn't last forever, no, but they were great relationships and I'm still friends with both. I was with the first for six years and the second for four years and never cheated on them. I hope you can understand that it's a bit insulting to try to tell me what I am and am not capable of simply because you know some people who know some people who have bipolar disorder. Can you trust me when I tell you that I am living negation of the worldview you espouse? Can you understand that it's both insulting and futile for you to try to tell me you know more about my illness and my capabilities than I do? Can you really call me a compulsive liar with absolute conviction? Because I'm simply not. I want others to be honest with me and I try very hard to always be honest with them. I think it's bad karma to live otherwise. As for the "facts" you state about women, again, I think that's black-and-white thinking without statistical backup. But the last thing I want to do is argue feminism with a stranger (especially a male stranger) on the internet. I'd much rather watch Project Runway (note: NOT Sex and the City, which I loathe as much as chick flicks, thus negating another fallacy about women put forth in this thread) and knit -- and am going to go do exactly that, right after I take my mood stabilizers, just like I do every night, so I can wake up healthy for another tomorrow. Edited November 13, 2009 by sedgwick
Author betamanlet Posted November 13, 2009 Author Posted November 13, 2009 http://www.healthyouinfo.com/the-association-between-lying-and-bipolar-disorder/
sedgwick Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 (edited) Yup, that's a google link, all right! Now, here's a bit of my bibliography: http://www.amazon.com/Unquiet-Mind-Memoir-Moods-Madness/dp/0679763309/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1258081596&sr=8-3 http://www.amazon.com/Touched-Fire-Manic-Depressive-Artistic-Temperament/dp/068483183X/ref=sr_1_5?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1258081596&sr=8-5 http://www.amazon.com/Madness-Bipolar-Life-Marya-Hornbacher/dp/B002CMLR6U/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1258081670&sr=1-1-spell http://www.amazon.com/Surviving-Manic-Depression-Disorder-Providers/dp/0465086640/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1258081741&sr=1-1 http://www.amazon.com/Bipolar-Disorder-Survival-Guide-Family/dp/1572305258/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1258081741&sr=1-2 http://www.amazon.com/Break-Bipolar-Cycle-Day-Day/dp/0071481532/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1258081778&sr=1-2 http://www.amazon.com/Loving-Someone-Bipolar-Disorder-Julie/dp/1572243422/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1258081778&sr=1-4 http://www.amazon.com/Electroboy-Memoir-Mania-Andy-Behrman/dp/0812967089/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1258081840&sr=1-1 http://www.amazon.com/Manic-Memoir-Terri-Cheney/dp/0061430277/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1258081840&sr=1-2 http://www.amazon.com/Bipolar-Handbook-Real-Life-Up-Date/dp/1583332499/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1258081882&sr=1-4 http://www.amazon.com/Mania-History-Bipolar-Disorder-Biographies/dp/0801888220/ref=sr_1_9?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1258081882&sr=1-9 http://www.amazon.com/Manic-Depressive-Illness-Frederick-Goodwin-M-D/dp/0195039343/ref=sr_1_16?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1258081953&sr=1-16 I take it, since you're speaking with such authority on bipolar people and what we go through, that you've read all these, yes? I'm happy to discuss any of them with you. What did you think, specifically, of Jamison's textbook? I know those thousand pages are a tough read, but I trust you got through it, right? Are you ready to enter into a discussion of the clinical, anectodal, biological, and psychopharmaceutical evidence set forth in these texts? I forgot where it said in any of them that ALL bipolar people are liars -- can you point me to the texts and page numbers? Also, I note that your link mentions only serotonin as a neurotransmitter the deficit of which can be implicated in bipolar depression. What have the scads of bipolar folks you know said about pharmacological agents that act on norepinephrine and dopamine? What is your educated opinion of SNRI vs. SSRI vs. atypical antidepressant treatment? What is the anecdotal evidence you have collected from your sample population? I take issue with the statement "the patient's conscious nervous system often loses control over what they say...Whatever pops up in the mind is uttered, and hence the lies." This is a very simplistic assessment. Our nervous system does not control what we say. I assume the reference is to the function of the amygdala, which has been implicated in emotion regulation, but to infer that the amygdala "controls what we say" is scientifically inaccurate. Also, how would it be proven that WHATEVER "pops into the mind is uttered?" There is no way one could definitively test this without knowing every single thing that comes into the mind of another human being. How is that possible? Can you point me to a study that shows the mechanism by which a researcher is able to be sure that s/he knows EVERYTHING that goes through another's mind? I haven't seen this study, nor has my editor. Can you point me to it so I can include that very valuable research in my book? Note that I will need to see exactly how the study was carried out, with the names of the clinicians, so I can contact them and verify their results. Thank you! Edited November 13, 2009 by sedgwick
TheLoneSock Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 I found it incredibly offensive. RESPECT for others is key. (And yes, I know I'm going to get a huge amount of flaming calling me a crazy feminist vegetarian fat pink-haired freak, but I respectfully ask that it be skipped. Of course I know this is to no avail, but hey, never hurts to attempt preemption of name-calling and flaming, right?) The amount of hatred being spewed here towards environmentalists, feminists, and vegetarians really baffles me. Why would anyone get so outraged that a person wants to leave the planet in better shape than she found it, be respected even though she has a vagina, and eschew eating animals? The anger directed at these pacifist pursuits confounds me. We don't hate you. We just wouldn't date you. You'll get over it.
TheLoneSock Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 I eat you up and use your scrawny bones for toothpicks! I'm sure you would. With BBQ sauce and everything.
Citizen Erased Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 Racists Smokers Heavy drinkers Top three.
TheLoneSock Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 Racists Smokers Heavy drinkers Top three. Then it's a good thing my only vice is pretty women.
dreamergrl Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 Being overly insecure Being cocky and self absorbed. Anger and control issues.
TheLoneSock Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 Oh goodness no, I'll never get over the fact that a man who repulses me, who I wouldn't date to save my life, wouldn't date me back! Sob! I'll be over here crushing on the enlightened, liberal men who don't eat sentient beings. Bonus points if they have a hair color not found in nature. Methinks I'm looking for a level of discourse not to be found here. I need to go read something on the internet with a brain behind it... That was a whole lot of typing if your goal was just to act indifferent.
Ruby Slippers Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 Mommy issuesCodependenceNo passion, goals, or ambitionsNegative, cynical attitudeLiberal use of shock humor (cheap and lazy)LiesEmotionally cold or distantPassive, doesn't make things happen or go after what he wantsFlaky, makes commitments and promises he doesn't keepRigid and unyieldingEmotionally unintelligent, inexpressiveComplainerBad/boring in bed, low sex driveBad communicator, gets defensive and blaming in face of slightest confrontationExcessive people pleaserSelf-centered, stingy, thoughtlessLeers at other women
Enema Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 - If you have/want kids. - If you are religious - If you are needy - If you can't support yourself ...dealbreakers.
Johnny M Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 Republicans. Bad spellers. Wearers of running shoes when not running (especially white ones.) Being anti-choice, homophobic, or cruel to animals. It makes me very sad to see people say those with bipolar disorder should be automatically excluded. I have it but have done massive amounts of therapy and am always on top of my meds and doctor's appointments. So refusing to date someone who has different political beliefs, or different fashion sense, or for whom English is not his first language (bad spelling) is okay, but refusing to date a nut is not okay?
deux ex machina Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 (edited) Top three dealbreakers (as opposed to red flags): No discrimination. Loyalty is very important, I need to feel safe. If he is very flirtatious with just about everyone, how will I know if he feels I'm special to him? I think this is a trust and loyalty thing, when you get right down to it. No sense of humor. This is a requirement. No individuality. Everyone has something unique about them, and he should own his uniqueness. Edited November 13, 2009 by deux ex machina
datingsucks Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 Mommy issuesCodependenceNo passion, goals, or ambitionsNegative, cynical attitudeLiberal use of shock humor (cheap and lazy)LiesEmotionally cold or distantPassive, doesn't make things happen or go after what he wantsFlaky, makes commitments and promises he doesn't keepRigid and unyieldingEmotionally unintelligent, inexpressiveComplainerBad/boring in bed, low sex driveBad communicator, gets defensive and blaming in face of slightest confrontationExcessive people pleaserSelf-centered, stingy, thoughtlessLeers at other women You forgot needs food and oxygen
spookie Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 -guys obsessed with their muscles -heavy drinking -cynicism
CarrieT Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 I'm sure you would. With BBQ sauce and everything. Yep - a side of slaw, greens, and cornbread -- you'd make a mighty-fine meal if you've got enough meat on your bones!
PinkToes Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 Personally, I don't date republicans or hunters.
lucy9216 Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 1. Holding a red flag wherever they go 2. Doesn't put ketchup on their hamburgers. 3. Doesn't EAT hamburgers. 4. Has the letter X in their first name. 5. Pink hair Really???? that is so random?
Rudderless Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 1. Unable to value time (too much spent procrastinating and thinking about trivial things - such as being constantly hooked into an internet forum) 2..... sorry, have to go.
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