cutieh Posted November 12, 2009 Posted November 12, 2009 Most guys that I have met lately want to rush and have sex with me. I don't understand what I'm doing. Is my personality to them read she's only worth anything but sex? I mean I would like to be friends first, but it seems like they want to rush things and have sex. I am shy and don't come off as pushy at all. I usual let the man lead in the relationship or friendship.
betamanlet Posted November 12, 2009 Posted November 12, 2009 Most guys that I have met lately want to rush and have sex with me. I don't understand what I'm doing. Is my personality to them read she's only worth anything but sex? I mean I would like to be friends first, but it seems like they want to rush things and have sex. I am shy and don't come off as pushy at all. I usual let the man lead in the relationship or friendship. Maybe you shouldn't have sex so soon? Unless you're being raped, you're the person who is deciding if sex is going to happen or not. It seems you're blaming others for your own actions.
2sure Posted November 12, 2009 Posted November 12, 2009 It sounds like you are attracting predators and those types are attracted more to the vulnerable than anything else. Something to consider.
betamanlet Posted November 12, 2009 Posted November 12, 2009 It sounds like you are attracting predators and those types are attracted more to the vulnerable than anything else. Something to consider. Something tells me that she wouldn't be interested in a shy, reserved guy who isn't sexuall aggressive, hence why she goes out with these kinds of guys.. They are exciting to her.
thegreatmoose Posted November 12, 2009 Posted November 12, 2009 Most guys that I have met lately want to rush and have sex with me. I don't understand what I'm doing. Is my personality to them read she's only worth anything but sex? I mean I would like to be friends first, but it seems like they want to rush things and have sex. I am shy and don't come off as pushy at all. I usual let the man lead in the relationship or friendship. You essentially answered your own question. You are much more likely to get an agressive man by doing this. That said, it doesn't have to be the opposite extreme either. I'm not very agressive, but I still like to do the asking out for a first date.
seibert253 Posted November 12, 2009 Posted November 12, 2009 Most guys that I have met lately want to rush and have sex with me. I don't understand what I'm doing. Is my personality to them read she's only worth anything but sex? I mean I would like to be friends first, but it seems like they want to rush things and have sex. I am shy and don't come off as pushy at all. I usual let the man lead in the relationship or friendship. Well, my first question is, are you letting them rush in and have sex with you? If so, simple; stop. Saying no is easy, you should not be. If you let guys push you, they will. Being confident in yourself is not being pushy. Confidence is a big turn on for guys, and gals. Lack of confidence is not, at least over time. If a girl, or guy for that matter, is easy, eventually easy becomes boring. Then the person moves on. If a person wants to have sex, consider it a compliment because for some reason they find you attractive. The key is to use it to your advantage. Just because someone wants to, doesn't mean you have to.
BentSpine Posted November 12, 2009 Posted November 12, 2009 Most guys that I have met lately want to rush and have sex with me.I'd say this is typical male behaviour which has nothing to do with you. Men want to have sex. If they are not ashamed of their sexual drive, then there's a chance that they will suggest sex. After all, if it's early you may not have a connection yet to appreciate instead so the sex is a possible payoff in the absence of a mental connection. But if you don't want to, simply don't accept their offer.
Odyssey Posted November 12, 2009 Posted November 12, 2009 I would like to be friends first, but it seems like they want to rush things and have sex. I am shy and don't come off as pushy at all.If you feel like you're being pressured, you'll have to stick up for yourself and voice your concerns. This is something you'll learn, that it's good to be assertive at times. It's not about being pushy or hostile at all. Big difference. I usual let the man lead in the relationship or friendship.Nothing wrong with that.
carhill Posted November 12, 2009 Posted November 12, 2009 I am shy and don't come off as pushy at all. I usual let the man lead in the relationship or friendship. IMO, your somewhat passive aura is likely attracting a certain demographic of men. Most straight men enjoy and desire sex with a woman, but go about it in very different ways depending on their socialization and psychology. You're attracting the 'out there' guys where it seems you desire a man who isn't as out there with his sexual desires and balances them with other aspects of a woman's attributes. Try being more assertive about the men you feel approachable to. Be selective. Project. Try the wedding band experiment to realign your thought processes. If your first thoughts when you note a man looking at you are that he is only desiring what he sees and for sex, that becomes your destiny. Find an alternative path
DanielMadr Posted November 12, 2009 Posted November 12, 2009 Most guys that I have met lately want to rush and have sex with me. I don't understand what I'm doing. Is my personality to them read she's only worth anything but sex? I mean I would like to be friends first, but it seems like they want to rush things and have sex. I am shy and don't come off as pushy at all. I usual let the man lead in the relationship or friendship. A few possibles: 1. Guys want to skip a few levels if possible in general. If they loose their interest when you dont provide sex, well, they wanted just boink. Bare in mind that you can catch a not so interested guy by sleeping with him. It is risky but many women got married thanks to it. They provide, guy sticks around for more eventhough he wasn't that much in love and he stick indefinetely. Most couples I know got together like this. When a guy is head over heals it usually doesn't last. 2. When you dress like a cop don't get mad when people start to tell you to arrest someone. 3. Clubs? And btw when guys stop seeing you as sex object, then you have real trouble;)
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