am I a pig if I don't want a woman who has ever been

[carhill]

What it is, is that some women, like myself, tend to invest heavily when we enter into a physical relationship with someone. The last thing I want to do is to invest in someone who's only in it, for physical reasons.

 

This was posted back in September 2007 by our now pregnant and engaged TBF and reflects a perfect example of a compatible path and philosophy to that of the OP, and myself for that matter. We all view sex, sexual intimacy and relationships in general, in our own unique ways.

 

I hope the OP finds the resolution he seeks. IMO, it resides within himself, rather than those women he seeks to identify here. Best wishes

[JohnP82]

Sleeping with lots of people doesn't make you experienced. The only thing it does is expose you to different sets of body parts. You can sleep with 50 guys/girls and still suck. The best sex I've ever had wasn't with a girl that had been with 13 guys but the girl that had been with 4.

[sally4sara]

Sleeping with lots of people doesn't make you experienced. The only thing it does is expose you to different sets of body parts. You can sleep with 50 guys/girls and still suck. The best sex I've ever had wasn't with a girl that had been with 13 guys but the girl that had been with 4.

 

You're talking about skill, not simple experience. You are correct though in that increased experience does not necessarily increase one's skills.

[Ruby Slippers]

Peppered throughout this thread by not just betamanlet (thats sooo cute ), but other posters too, it is pretty obvious their opinion of women is a low one. To the point where the only humor they seem to be able to enjoy is at the expense of the female gender. It just breaks my heart for them really. Though with these kind of threads, I'm starting to wonder if their attitude is biological in that it serves as a gene pool culling method for the male of our species. They just won't get to breed and infect their offspring with these views. So while it may suck for them - it could benefit us all in the long run? Perhaps a bright side to their misery?

Excellent points. And you and JohnP82 are right. Of course everyone is free (and in my mind, wise) to choose a partner whose values are compatible with his/her own.

 

I think my post reflected a slightly hostile response to the attitude in this thread (not from him, I grant) and across the board that women who enjoy sex and don't always view it as special and wrapped in rose petals are defective.

 

I myself am not sure that I am changing my mind on the degree of meaning I attach to sex -- I am just trying on another point of view, which I have done once or twice before in my life. But whatever side of the sacred line I end up on, I cannot stand the sexism, fear, and insecurity behind the angry facade of denigrating women who are exploring their sexualities exactly as men are.

[espec10001]

A girl can do whatever she wants. If she wants to go to town and sample the whole city, then by all means she can. However, I find that I would not want to have sex with this kind of girl because think of how many guys have been IN her! Kind of gross when you think about putting your member into someone that many many men have before you. And whatever those people have she could have and infect YOU!

 

So sometimes I ask myself is it really worth the short term pleasure of contracting an STD or an unwanted pregnancy? My answer is no. Plus I want to feel special to the girl, I don't want to be guy #500, that just makes me feel cheap, and I'm not cheap.

[Ruby Slippers]

However, I find that I would not want to have sex with this kind of girl because think of how many guys have been IN her! Kind of gross when you think about putting your member into someone that many many men have before you. And whatever those people have she could have and infect YOU!

And how many women have you "been in"? If it's more than zero, your penis is obviously infected with other women's vaginas, and any woman would be a fool to sleep with you. I mean, gross!!!

[sally4sara]

A girl can do whatever she wants. If she wants to go to town and sample the whole city, then by all means she can. However, I find that I would not want to have sex with this kind of girl because think of how many guys have been IN her! Kind of gross when you think about putting your member into someone that many many men have before you. And whatever those people have she could have and infect YOU!

 

So sometimes I ask myself is it really worth the short term pleasure of contracting an STD or an unwanted pregnancy? My answer is no. Plus I want to feel special to the girl, I don't want to be guy #500, that just makes me feel cheap, and I'm not cheap.

 

I agree. Men who boast a long list of conquests make a dubious prize of their penis too as they are much much more likely to infect a woman with an STD than a woman might infect them. Simple saturation per square inch is a clear indication that this is fact.

It not only makes me wonder why they would brag about having zero standards and what level of intelligence they have to think this is a good selling point with me. I'm not chaste or pure, but I do have limits. I've already bred too so, I'm not under the gun to cut corners or make concessions anymore either.

[justforfun]

To Europeans, for instance, we seem absolutely Puritanical in some of our views on the topic.

 

As a European I can tell you that you are absolutely correct!!

[justforfun]

A girl can do whatever she wants. If she wants to go to town and sample the whole city, then by all means she can. However, I find that I would not want to have sex with this kind of girl because think of how many guys have been IN her! Kind of gross when you think about putting your member into someone that many many men have before you. And whatever those people have she could have and infect YOU!

 

So sometimes I ask myself is it really worth the short term pleasure of contracting an STD or an unwanted pregnancy? My answer is no. Plus I want to feel special to the girl, I don't want to be guy #500, that just makes me feel cheap, and I'm not cheap.

 

And who want's all that dirty, nasty vagina juice on them anyway? Eughh gross!!

[JohnP82]

Plus I want to feel special to the girl, I don't want to be guy #500, that just makes me feel cheap, and I'm not cheap.

 

OK, I admit that this is something that has crossed my mind before. I think all people want to feel special in some way or another. How can I possibly be special to someone that has been around the block a few times?

[justforfun]

OK, I admit that this is something that has crossed my mind before. I think all people want to feel special in some way or another. How can I possibly be special to someone that has been around the block a few times?

 

Oh, how I am enjoying this little glimpse into the mind of the insecure man.

[espec10001]

Oh, how I am enjoying this little glimpse into the mind of the insecure man.

 

It has nothing to do with insecurity it has to do with using the brain in your head more than the brain in your pants. Humans are not animals, we have been given faculties that separate us from wild breeding creatures.

[JohnP82]

To Europeans, for instance, we seem absolutely Puritanical in some of our views on the topic.

 

Yeah, I would agree that we may seem that way but at what cost. I dated a British girl earlier this year for a few months that was doing study abroad at my law school. I agree that European's views on sex are completely different but maybe as a result some other things have suffered.

 

For example when we began dating we were out with a group of my friends and her friends and my group decided to buy a round of of beers. This completely blew them away and they felt that it was an attempt to get into their pants as opposed to just buying another round to take advantage of $2 beer night. They expected ulterior motives on our part which could be nothing further from the truth and could be attributed to what happens at home.

 

Another thing I will never forget was when we first tried to hook up. We went back to her place and things started going fine until we couldn't find a condom. After realizing she didn't have one she expected me to go into a fit of rage because we couldn't have sex that night. Of course I didn't blow up and instead made sure that we went back to my place the next time.

 

Now this could be indicative of the types of guys she had dated before but the entire group (there were 5 exchange students) were befuddled by how American's treated each other with more respect.

[Ruby Slippers]

How can I possibly be special to someone that has been around the block a few times?

I don't understand the logic at all. It's like saying "How can I enjoy having a conversation with you? You've spoken to THOUSANDS of other people!" If you are confident in your conversational abilities, you are secure in the knowledge that you will stand apart.

[JohnP82]

Oh, how I am enjoying this little glimpse into the mind of the insecure man.

 

I don't think it's insecurity, just more rationality. I played lacrosse growing up and goal 45 meant much less to me than my first few.

[espec10001]

I don't understand the logic at all. It's like saying "How can I enjoy having a conversation with you? You've spoken to THOUSANDS of other people!" If you are confident in your conversational abilities, you are secure in the knowledge that you will stand apart.

 

Conversations don't carry the risk of drama, VD, or unwanted pregnancy.

[sally4sara]

I don't think it's insecurity, just more rationality. I played lacrosse growing up and goal 45 meant much less to me than my first few.

 

Hmmm. My fiance means much much more to me than my high school boyfriend and even my ex husband did/does. Anyone else I've been with just doesn't matter compared to my intended "last".

[Ody]

promiscuous? Other than the one religious woman I know, absolutely every female I know has had LOTS and LOTS of sex partners. Somtes 5-6 different guys in a week. I've been with 5 women in my entire life. They've done more guys in a single week. Is there something wrong with me for long thinking this is okay? I just don't believe they'll ever be able to be faithful.

 

I wouldn't say a pig but it sounds like you have a bit of the madonna/whore complex.

 

If you don't want to know, don't ask.

 

And if you are basing this on what you hear about certain girls, rather than directly from them, then yes, that's piggish.

[Ody]

Conversations don't carry the risk of drama, VD, or unwanted pregnancy.

 

Even sex with a virgin carries all of these risks. Mixing "oh boy I hope she's not a - gasp - **slut**" issues with sexual health issues is a losing proposition.

[TheLoneSock]

promiscuous? Other than the one religious woman I know, absolutely every female I know has had LOTS and LOTS of sex partners. Somtes 5-6 different guys in a week. I've been with 5 women in my entire life. They've done more guys in a single week. Is there something wrong with me for long thinking this is okay? I just don't believe they'll ever be able to be faithful.

 

Lol the only thing wrong here is your choice in women.

[justforfun]

It has nothing to do with insecurity

 

Yup. It does.

[espec10001]

Yup. It does.

 

Nope, it doesn't.

[stillafool]

Lol the only thing wrong here is your choice in women.

 

You see I think OP really desires these "party girl" types but doesn't feel he could hold on to one of them. This is his entire problem. His problem would be easily solved by hanging out in places where his type of woman could be found ( church, book clubs, library, etc.) but instead he choses to criticize what he can't have. If you don't like vanilla ice cream then move on to Chocolate or Strawberry. It's very simple.

[stillafool]

But a girl's got needs.

 

I think it's a major cultural shift, and it's not going back to the way it used to be. So, I suggest you get over yourself and your madonna-whore complex and get used to it. Really, it's about time Americans lightened the hell up about sex. To Europeans, for instance, we seem absolutely Puritanical in some of our views on the topic.

 

 

This is true whether people want to accept it or not.

[stillafool]

OK, I admit that this is something that has crossed my mind before. I think all people want to feel special in some way or another. How can I possibly be special to someone that has been around the block a few times?

 

 

How many times have you been around the block? Is someone to feel special about you?