HeavenOrHell Posted November 12, 2009 Posted November 12, 2009 How does this happen? Me and my ex were deeply in love and passionate for most of the 18 years we were together, still passionate a month before the problems really came to a head, and earlier this year he said why did he ever leave me twice before (9 years ago) and that he'd never leave me again, etc etc. But though my neglect he fell out of love, but still loves me, I've tried to rectify things, to no avail. Do some partners expect to feel as passionate as they did in the first couple of years? It's not very realistic is it? He said this year that he didn't expect it to be like it was in the beginning but that it had gone into something deeper, and we DID still enjoy sex, although not as often (I blame myself). I am still in love with him, makes me feel ill to think he prob sees me as a sister now The week before the split I asked would he say he didn't fancy me anymore or want to sleep with me again? And he said I wouldn't say that. Maybe he was being kind I don't know. I'm not sure what to believe anymore as he seemed confused before we split, I got mixed messages. I dont want to be his sister I want to be his lover. I wish him knowing now how much I do love him would help him see things differently. I'm such a fool.
teanoranges Posted November 12, 2009 Posted November 12, 2009 I think the whole 'feel like family' thing is so horrible. I just got this from my ex. He said he feels like family with me now and will never love me again. I'm not sure if some guys start confusing the 'feel like a sister' thing with the comfort that comes with love, so they just feed off of it, or if it seriously changes like that so fast. I don't know though. Its very confusing
Author HeavenOrHell Posted November 12, 2009 Author Posted November 12, 2009 It is horrible isn't it It is confusing.. I think the whole 'feel like family' thing is so horrible. I just got this from my ex. He said he feels like family with me now and will never love me again. I'm not sure if some guys start confusing the 'feel like a sister' thing with the comfort that comes with love, so they just feed off of it, or if it seriously changes like that so fast. I don't know though. Its very confusing
ann09 Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 I am on the other side. I look at the man I married like a brother more than a husband. I love him but have no feelings whatsoever of passion for him. I care about him etc - but it's like how I love a close family member. It sucks to be on either side.
bluestraps Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 Youre in a relationship rut. Maybe go out to a fancy restaruant take your squeeze out for a night on the town, city , whatever. Try some role playing. Write some poems like just try writing some.
teanoranges Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 I am on the other side. I look at the man I married like a brother more than a husband. I love him but have no feelings whatsoever of passion for him. I care about him etc - but it's like how I love a close family member. It sucks to be on either side. I wish I could understand how it happens (for the other person). It wasn't like my passion stopped. I was still being romantic and loving and we were still sexual (I figure he could still be sexual because its a basic human drive even though he felt more sisterly) I keep wanting to tell him maybe it was the comfort of a relationship and to open his eyes to being romantic, but then I figure he wasn't being romantic because he wasn't feeling in-love. Still confused.
Author HeavenOrHell Posted November 13, 2009 Author Posted November 13, 2009 Were you ever in love with him? My ex was in love with me for many years. I am on the other side. I look at the man I married like a brother more than a husband. I love him but have no feelings whatsoever of passion for him. I care about him etc - but it's like how I love a close family member. It sucks to be on either side.
nobleguy Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 Mine told me I had become like a brother to her. She has two brothers already and I didn't want a sister... Think in some ways she has felt the loss in the same way I have, but that makes me feel no better about it all... her 'let's be friends' and 'you're a good man' just sounded patronising when I was the one still in love. I don't get it either.
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