getbackwithex Posted November 12, 2009 Posted November 12, 2009 I just want an opinion hopefully from some of you women out there in this case. I ran into an old flame of mine and she seemed a little down. We both knew for some time we would run into each other at this event BTW, so I don't think it was because she saw me Normally she's super happy, always smiling, and the life of the party. Not so much this time. Back story: I dumped her, tried to get her back, but no luck. We've had LC this passed year mainly due to me reaching out to her. A few months ago I stopped and we haven't talked since. I've healed, moved on, working on a new flame, all that stuff. Anyway, we started talking and she told me that she cries a lot because of her job. Sometimes at work, but mostly when she goes home. First, this kinda caught me off guard. I mean, we don't talk EVER so why tell me about your problem instead of telling an actual "friend" or boyfriend and why not just tell me how great everything is going like most ex's seem to do?? Second, the last time we talked prior to this she told me she was in a funk then too so is this a pattern, a coincidence, or is she saying something more? It kinda bummed me to hear and I sort of feel like sending her a friendly, funny card or something. Yes, I know what most of you are going to say. YOU CANNOT BE FRIENDS WITH AN EX. I get it...but I will run into this person on occasion and I'm open to the idea of us being closer friends again. Thoughts?
lilbelle Posted November 12, 2009 Posted November 12, 2009 then what's stopping you? if you want to be friends, go for it. I'm friends with all of my ex's except the last one and I would be friends with him if I could deal, or more like if he could deal, but we can't.
Author getbackwithex Posted November 12, 2009 Author Posted November 12, 2009 then what's stopping you? if you want to be friends, go for it. I'm friends with all of my ex's except the last one and I would be friends with him if I could deal, or more like if he could deal, but we can't. Well, the last time I tried to cheer her up, she asked a mutual friend of ours if I still had feelings for her, and that she "doesn't want to give me the wrong idea" speach to this friend of ours. So, I'm thinking that I should just let it go, because I don't want it to come across that way at all.
Author getbackwithex Posted November 12, 2009 Author Posted November 12, 2009 then what's stopping you? if you want to be friends, go for it. I'm friends with all of my ex's except the last one and I would be friends with him if I could deal, or more like if he could deal, but we can't. BTW, just curious.....when you say you would be friends with the last one if he could deal, and you could deal with it, what's the problem between the two of you that's causing it not to happen?
jlr Posted November 12, 2009 Posted November 12, 2009 Exes being friends isn't a good idea. One of them is usually hoping for more, and often both still have feelings, even if it's below the surface. Usually, it resurfaces. I should take my own advice. Right now my ex and I are being "friends" - it's truly impossible...
sean1970 Posted November 12, 2009 Posted November 12, 2009 YOU CANNOT BE FRIENDS WITH AN EX I am friends with ex's and am fine with it... I was not, however, friends with the ones that dumped me for quite some time... It should read, IMHO, "YOU CANNOT BE FRIENDS WITH AN EX UNTIL YOU ARE FINE WITH JUST BEING FRIENDS" My recent ex, I don't know that I could be friends with... She lives 4 hours away and there is a 15 year age diff...
HeavenOrHell Posted November 12, 2009 Posted November 12, 2009 I think friendships with exes are possible but ONLY if neither of you are still in love. Maybe it works better if the break up was mutual, both wanted it.
sean1970 Posted November 12, 2009 Posted November 12, 2009 Maybe it works better if the break up was mutual, both wanted it. More rare than pink elephants...
HeavenOrHell Posted November 12, 2009 Posted November 12, 2009 Seems to be Usually one is still in love. Life's a b****! More rare than pink elephants...
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