Taucher Posted November 12, 2009 Posted November 12, 2009 Well, nearly 6 months in and I am on my 3rd relapse type freak out. I can recognise the signs now so I am not panicking so much (is that evidence of me healing my sh*t up?). Still, this time it's just sadness. This time it was brought on by my flatmate telling me he saw my ex on Sunday morning (she was alone and didn't see him). I dont know why, but this affected me. I have to face up to the fact that I WILL bump into her at some point, despite my best efforts to avoid it. THis time, I feel quite pathetic. Why cant I be angry. Thats strong in a way. But instead, I have sadness and self pity. Last night, went to a bar, me and my mate got talking to 2 girls. Apparantly I was rude to them. I wasnt really rude, I just ignored them. My mate is pi**ed off with me, told me to get out of my world and I realise now that I am cutting people out of my life. Thing is, I was angry at those girls. They were actually pretty nice but I hated them cos they weren't my ex. They were actually better than my ex cos they wanted to talk to me at least. I see a bit of a downward spiral coming on. It's easier to be angry at the world, feel self pity. If I dont try, I cant fail. Relationships are dead ends. Forget women, I want a dog. I've given it a go. No questions here, just being self induglent. Sorry. T
USMCHokie Posted November 12, 2009 Posted November 12, 2009 Last night, went to a bar, me and my mate got talking to 2 girls. Apparantly I was rude to them. I wasnt really rude, I just ignored them. My mate is pi**ed off with me, told me to get out of my world and I realise now that I am cutting people out of my life. Heheh, he was just upset you were being a bad wingman...and it affected his game... And we all go through or went through this stage...sometimes multiple times...I'm actually in the same exact place...it's been almost 4 months for me, half of which was NC, and I'm sitting in my room in the dark listening to pathetic music...the things with these low points is that the farther along we are in the healing process, the quicker they pass...I've noticed that you had been in much better spirits before this when I had first started posting a couple weeks ago, so I'm positive it will pass...as it always will...
nobleguy Posted November 12, 2009 Posted November 12, 2009 Thing is, I was angry at those girls. They were actually pretty nice but I hated them cos they weren't my ex. They were actually better than my ex cos they wanted to talk to me at least. Yep. Done the same. If they're not the ex then they're no good to me. Not for a while anyway... I see a bit of a downward spiral coming on. It's easier to be angry at the world, feel self pity. If I dont try, I cant fail. Relationships are dead ends. Forget women, I want a dog. I've given it a go. It's natural to think like that. I'm of opinion that feeling like this about the loss of someone special is just not worth it, even if you had good times for years before. I think that is just me being angry with the world and being more than a little bitter, and I'm sure time will heal that slowly. And yes, it is easier to be angry but it's not as fulfilling.
sean1970 Posted November 12, 2009 Posted November 12, 2009 Forget women, I want a dog. I've given it a go. That is just F'n funny...
sean1970 Posted November 12, 2009 Posted November 12, 2009 Last night, went to a bar, me and my mate got talking to 2 girls. Apparantly I was rude to them. I wasnt really rude, I just ignored them. My mate is pi**ed off with me, told me to get out of my world and I realise now that I am cutting people out of my life. Thing is, I was angry at those girls. They were actually pretty nice but I hated them cos they weren't my ex. They were actually better than my ex cos they wanted to talk to me at least. I know what you mean... I had no less than 3 girls that wanted to get to know me better but they may as well have had leprosy. I just could not get past how they were not like my ex... Ive take the stance that I need to get better with me. Like myself more before I can others. What are you doing for you?
Odyssey Posted November 12, 2009 Posted November 12, 2009 Well, nearly 6 months in and I am on my 3rd relapse type freak out... ...Still, this time it's just sadness. This time it was brought on by my flatmate telling me he saw my ex on Sunday morning...The first thing i did was warn my mates under any circumstances not to disclose any info. to or from my ex at all! Because i know that no matter how trivial it might seem, it will get my mind in a twist. I gotta hand it to them, they respected that to this day. Taucher, you're feeling sad today. Well, i would say you're much better than the first few weeks of the breakup, for sure. That's a huge improvement! From the booketh of rules of ...uhm...ships of relations, 1234: "Thou shall not beat thy self up"
mickleb Posted November 15, 2009 Posted November 15, 2009 Hi Tauch Sorry you've stumbled on another rock whilst on this treacherous path. Things can sneak up on us out of the blue and we become unsure of our footing. I am, still, of the opinion that you're doing very well. I'm glad you're, at least, out and about with your single mates (even if you are being tetchy). One day, there might be something about one of the ladies around that catches your eye and gives you a glimmer of light to behold. Regarding getting a dog, may I suggest you Google The Cinammon Trust? It's a really sweet charity that I recommend to anyone considering taking on a pooch. You are put in contact with elderly or infirm dog owners who need people who can either walk their dogs for them or can foster them for a few weeks (if they have to go into hospital). It will help you decide how ready you are for that kind of commitment and I guarantee you'll get Christmas cards for years off the old ladies you help out. Hope you feel brighter soon. x
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