mortensorchid Posted November 11, 2009 Posted November 11, 2009 Is it ok if I as the woman show interest in someone? Just sending a wink or a request for communication? Does that make you as the woman look too pushy or needy? I'm on EHarmony right now and I would like to send a communication to a few here and there, but I rarely if ever get communication requests from others.
melodymatters Posted November 11, 2009 Posted November 11, 2009 Well, I'm by far an expert, but in MY experience's : When I joined match, I got bombarded and tried to whittle it down a bit, and then was not into the two guys I met. Years earlier when I tried a diff site, I kept my profile hidden and sent out two notes to the 2 guys I found most interesting. I corresponded with both and then met one. Now I NEVER chase guys, but I would have to say I was the one who made first contact, and the one who first suggested a meeting. ONCE WE MET, he was floored and wanted to see me the next night, and the next and we dated for over two years and are still friends. SO, I think in this case, you won't appear needy or desperate, but after the FIRST meeting the old rules apply once again ! Good luck !
Author mortensorchid Posted November 12, 2009 Author Posted November 12, 2009 Thanks for your suggestion MM, but I found when one just sends a wink or something to someone there's no insurance that the receiver will respond at all. I will keep that in mind if and when.
Pizzaman81 Posted November 14, 2009 Posted November 14, 2009 No it's not bad to show interest... isn't that why you are online looking in the first place? Don't be passive. So statistically, men do more winking and all that nonsense, because that's how we are, we hoard on top of you women. But it's ok to show interest, because you might not have showed up in his search results or whatever. Like my friend who puts up her pictures only and nothing else in her profile she gets tons of messages: "WOW GREAT PERSONALITY! I THINK WE WILL GET ALONG!" So I think sometimes if YOU message them it would seem more genuine... just a though -Pizzaman
carhill Posted November 14, 2009 Posted November 14, 2009 I think it's healthy if you're ready for reciprocation. There is one MO I've seen enough of now and which has turned me off a bit from responding to women's interest, and that is the situational ego feed. They feed their ego online without any intention to bring it (whatever 'it' is, whether romance or friendship) into the real world. So, hence, now, when I sense this happening, I push for real world interaction, no matter where in the real world that is. So, IMO, go for it.
looking4 green grass Posted November 19, 2009 Posted November 19, 2009 How did it work out? I took the plunge and initiated contact with a cute guy on eHarmony. He answered my questions, so I'm happy I wasn't immediately rejected! lol
jerseyboy Posted November 19, 2009 Posted November 19, 2009 Its not only ok its smart. Frankly women are better at picking their own mates, as opposed to choosing from whoever comes their way. Truthfully just about every long term relationship I was ever in was initiated by the woman.
BlueHarvest Posted November 19, 2009 Posted November 19, 2009 Yes it's ok, Actually I encourage it. I wish more women would take a more active role in dating rather then, as Carhill said, feed the ego. Though In my case I seem to get the wierd ones... Not meaning to derail, but I recieved a wink from a girl the other day. Responded to the wink with a message after reading her profile and seeing a few compatibilities. Messaged her with enough information to let her know I *READ* her profile and didn't just base my message off her profile picture and .....no response. I kind of thought it was wierd because she initiated contact then wouldn't respond... Kind of leads me to believe it's one of those "fake accounts". Then again, the site I was using was Okcupid which is free so ...that doesn't make a whole lot of sense. My main concern is that if I were to use eharmony or match.com (paid sites) would I be getting my money's worth or would I be in the same boat as now? As it is right now I get about a 20% reply rate. And probabably 1-2 messages initated by a women per week. (Which isn't bad considering the norm.) Just feels like a waste of time. I didn't expect a whole lot, but I expected at least some responses. Okcupid had a wonderful trend they just posted... http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/2009/11/17/your-looks-and-online-dating/ Was interesting and yet not surprising at all. Essentially it states that women are extremely harsh on their views of men.
Lost-n-confused Posted November 19, 2009 Posted November 19, 2009 No one ever responds to me. What do you say when you msg someone? I usually say Hi tell me about yourself. Id like to know more. Hope to hear back from you. Nothing not even a look at my profile.
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