Patrice Posted November 11, 2009 Posted November 11, 2009 I'm having a very tough day. I left my husband last March because of his mental health issues (anxiety disorder). He became emotionally abusive in the months before I left. We have been legally separated for two months and I recently saw him in our old hometown - I've moved 45 minutes away and closer to my job. The legal separation has a clause that charges him with cruel and inhuman treatment - which means I don't need to wait the year for the divorce. I attempted to try and see him on a weekly basis - and that stopped about a month ago - as he proposed that we have a sexual relationship during the separation - something I wasn't agreeable to. I feel like my life has been in limbo for months now - I know I cannot go back to the marriage, and I can't move forward to any future relationship .. I'm tired of being alone. I wrote to him today and my attorney and told them both that I wanted to move forward with the divorce. I'm feeling emotionally drained and exhausted today - but, I feel in my heart that I no longer love him, can't fathom living with him again etc. Feels better and more fair to get it over with. Just want to know if you guys think I'm thinking straight. Thanks.
quankanne Posted November 11, 2009 Posted November 11, 2009 as painful as this step is, you're doing what is needed to help the healing commence. kinda like stepping on a thumbtack that was laying around, pointy-side up, and bracing yourself to rip the dang thing out of your foot. It hurts like a sum-bytch, but you realize you've got to dig it out so you can properly clean and tend that wound, you know? I can't imagine that any of this has been easy, and I really feel for you, Patrice. But I also know that there is no moral imperative to remain in a relationship that's harmful to you in any way whatsoever. Just remember we're here for you, to hold your hand, to provide a shoulder, to make you laugh ... whatever you need most. hugs, jo
Author Patrice Posted November 11, 2009 Author Posted November 11, 2009 Thank you ... I'm just feeling it's time for no more fear ... it's time to take my own life back and get on with it. I'm feeling sad and guilty - I gave it my best shot .. but, I need to find happiness again. xxoo
Ultiman Posted November 11, 2009 Posted November 11, 2009 I'm having a very tough day. I left my husband last March because of his mental health issues (anxiety disorder). He became emotionally abusive in the months before I left. We have been legally separated for two months and I recently saw him in our old hometown - I've moved 45 minutes away and closer to my job. The legal separation has a clause that charges him with cruel and inhuman treatment - which means I don't need to wait the year for the divorce. I attempted to try and see him on a weekly basis - and that stopped about a month ago - as he proposed that we have a sexual relationship during the separation - something I wasn't agreeable to. I feel like my life has been in limbo for months now - I know I cannot go back to the marriage, and I can't move forward to any future relationship .. I'm tired of being alone. I wrote to him today and my attorney and told them both that I wanted to move forward with the divorce. I'm feeling emotionally drained and exhausted today - but, I feel in my heart that I no longer love him, can't fathom living with him again etc. Feels better and more fair to get it over with. Just want to know if you guys think I'm thinking straight. Thanks. I cannot even imagine the type of pain you must be going through. I am here on this website because my gf of 3 years recently broke up with me and im here complaining about how much it hurts etc etc and you just had to end a 28 year old marriage because the man you fell in love with changed... Your strength gives me hope, Your strength gives me courage my situation cannot even compare to what you are going through and it makes me feel so humbled. Thank you even though u really didnt do much Thank you so much
Author Patrice Posted November 11, 2009 Author Posted November 11, 2009 All I can tell you - is that it gets better ... just had to take the final step today .. I'm right here too .. this stuff is very painful - but, in the end you have to save yourself and find happiness again ... I'm hoping he doesn't call me.
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