learnfrommymistakes Posted November 11, 2009 Posted November 11, 2009 Hi I just read a post by I think, FAllen Angel, (sorry if I am wrong) about perhaps it is because "I love too deeply"? You know it struck a chord in me. EVery time I walked away from my situation, and meant it, I always felt badly for pushing that person away even though he was not good for me, etc. I worried than he would miss our connection and friendship, and I just loved him too deeply to hurt him. I know it sounds crazy, he was the married one/separated...but I have a hard time taking away love from someone, or withholding it. Even tho I hated myself for having an affair, I also hated/and still do, the thought of not loving him. I love deeply, friends, animals, and even friends/people who have done me wrong so to speak, I cant turn my back, I am not a pushover but I just love deeply.... Since I really care for my xMM and he has a deep place in my heart, I still love him, and always will I guess. Like friends who have come and gone, and ex boyfriends, I still show and give love. A betrayed spouse asks "What would make you do this, or be with a married man, etc" and sometime, though I know it sounds lame and unfair perhaps to the WS, it is love, we just fall in love. Is it ok, No, is it acceptable, heck no, but sometimes love does happen and I never meant to hurt anyone, cheat, lie, and I was miserable with that part of it, but what made me stay longer than I should, was true, deep love for this person. Just some thoughts. I know there are OW who date MM because they are married, but not everyone seeks that out. (I am not judging, pls dont blast me) I am just saying to some of the wounded spouses, some of us, despite all our efforts to NOT fall, to NOT stay and to walk away, fell in love. Crazy love..and painful love..for everyone. HUGS and blessings for everyone to take a deep breath, embrace something good for a moment, and pause...this aint a picnic for anyone...really.... lfmm
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