Ultiman Posted November 11, 2009 Posted November 11, 2009 Woke up super early for work. Couldnt focus on my work I felt like i wasnt there, always thinking about her and what we had, every little detail would make me think of her. I had to take like 7 breaks to go to the bathroom and just cry. I started feeling hopeless, aggravated, annoyed etc. Then about an hour before i leave i cry really hard sitting outside by myself and I begin to feel better, I start thinking about my new future, different jobs i can have, How much money im gonna be making. I get home from work and the hopelessness starts all over again, I work out to try and forget it but it doesnt help at all. Now as im writing this im beginning to feel better even though my anxiety is running wild. I can literally feel a burning sensation under my skin I cant ****ing stand this anxiety anymore.
sean1970 Posted November 11, 2009 Posted November 11, 2009 Woke up super early for work. Couldnt focus on my work I felt like i wasnt there, always thinking about her and what we had, every little detail would make me think of her. I had to take like 7 breaks to go to the bathroom and just cry. I started feeling hopeless, aggravated, annoyed etc. Then about an hour before i leave i cry really hard sitting outside by myself and I begin to feel better, I start thinking about my new future, different jobs i can have, How much money im gonna be making. I get home from work and the hopelessness starts all over again, I work out to try and forget it but it doesnt help at all. Now as im writing this im beginning to feel better even though my anxiety is running wild. I can literally feel a burning sensation under my skin I cant ****ing stand this anxiety anymore. How long since the breakup / NC?
lilbelle Posted November 11, 2009 Posted November 11, 2009 thats where I was yesterday. You will make it. Go visit some friends or family. If not that then go to walmart or something and just walk around. Try to get your mind off of it. Last night was really bad for me. I ended up meeting an old college buddy for a beer and cheese fries. We had a good laugh, swapped battle stories and both relaized we deserve more even though we are heartbroke. Today has been a constant I want to break nc, but luckily I haven't and I'm standing my ground.
Author Ultiman Posted November 11, 2009 Author Posted November 11, 2009 How long since the breakup / NC? 19 days since break up. limited contact throughout the whole time. Ive been trying NC for 9 days broke it 3 days in to tell her i got laid off, 3 days later she calls me and i pick up. Now im on 2 days NC.
mickleb Posted November 11, 2009 Posted November 11, 2009 Hi Ultiman So sorry to read about your awful day. I'm asleep as I'm typing but just wanted to let you know I'm thinking of you and really hope you feel a bit better soon. It will be like this for a while. But the clear times get longer. Honest. Have I mentioned 'The Journey From Heartbreak To Connection' yet? On www.abandonment.net Hope you get some more people post who'll help you through, at this time. Take care, hon. xx
Meaplus3 Posted November 11, 2009 Posted November 11, 2009 19 days since break up. limited contact throughout the whole time. Ive been trying NC for 9 days broke it 3 days in to tell her i got laid off, 3 days later she calls me and i pick up. Now im on 2 days NC. Hi there. Look at it this way you made it back to NC. Now.. you just need to stay there. Do you think you can do that? Mea:)
Author Ultiman Posted November 11, 2009 Author Posted November 11, 2009 Hi there. Look at it this way you made it back to NC. Now.. you just need to stay there. Do you think you can do that? Mea:) I want her back so bad. She was honest and caring, she never lied to me, she never cheated me, she helped me with money, i lost my virginty to her and she lost hers to me, she was always there when i needed her, She gave me everything and anything a guy could ever want... and i screwed it up
Meaplus3 Posted November 11, 2009 Posted November 11, 2009 I want her back so bad. She was honest and caring, she never lied to me, she never cheated me, she helped me with money, i lost my virginty to her and she lost hers to me, she was always there when i needed her, She gave me everything and anything a guy could ever want... and i screwed it up Well don't beat yourself up here. I know this must be tough for you. When you loved someone and they are no longer a part of your life it's tough.. real tough and thats the honest to gods truth. But, If it's over than you need to find a way to make peace and move forward. While it may seem real tough right now, things will get better if you allow yourself to think outside the box here for a bit. Know there are plenty of other fish in the sea and that you can and will have another relationship that will be good for you. So, as rough as this is.. if you stick to NC.. you can get over her. Please take it from someone who's been there.. and that's ME! Mea:)
Author Ultiman Posted November 12, 2009 Author Posted November 12, 2009 O god i cant stop crying. I went to her house to take back her laptop and the rest of her stuff, she wasn't home. Her mom was so i just left it there
Sysyphus28 Posted November 12, 2009 Posted November 12, 2009 I went through some major sh** last year. Check out my posts if you want or threads or whatever. I know that anxiety........it is unbearable. But you have to be a grown man. A MAN. Everything isn't always going to work out in life. Especially the unpredictable,emotionally challenging relationships with women. You have to get a fu**ing grip man. What your feeling now will ultimately feel silly in about a year from now. Trust me, I still feel some remorse for my ex, but it is mostly self-directed anger for letting that dumb ass B_t__ get the best of me. Never again! Grow a pair bro. She is not sitting around crying about you. She is probably maxin' and relaxin' with some new dude. Trust me, if she is not upset......she had a plan B. Keep posting here. It's a good thing. We are here to help you through the storm. You can bet that you are NOT ALONE. peace Woke up super early for work. Couldnt focus on my work I felt like i wasnt there, always thinking about her and what we had, every little detail would make me think of her. I had to take like 7 breaks to go to the bathroom and just cry. I started feeling hopeless, aggravated, annoyed etc. Then about an hour before i leave i cry really hard sitting outside by myself and I begin to feel better, I start thinking about my new future, different jobs i can have, How much money im gonna be making. I get home from work and the hopelessness starts all over again, I work out to try and forget it but it doesnt help at all. Now as im writing this im beginning to feel better even though my anxiety is running wild. I can literally feel a burning sensation under my skin I cant ****ing stand this anxiety anymore.
McGrupp Posted November 12, 2009 Posted November 12, 2009 its going to hurt so much...let me tell you im finally feeling a little better. and the key is remain NC as much as it hurts. maybe go away if you can for a bit and change up your whole deal. its almost like having the flu or taking a real ****ty class in college. it will be painful buut make a date (lets say a month from now just for kicks) and go to that day. countdown. do stuff. anything. dont think. ....and you know. its going to hurt. more then anything ever in the history of your life. but ****...do it because there is nothing else to do
nobleguy Posted November 12, 2009 Posted November 12, 2009 I really feel for you. The last three months has been like that for me and to a certain extent it still is. It seems never-ending and life seems futile when you feel like that every single moment but I promise it does get better. Last week I found my ex had a new boyfriend (then the next day told me she was thinking about the possibility of trying to work things out with me?!) and I was back to what I thought was square one. She emotionally destroyed me on two consecutive days and I hardly slept, spent three days at work looking up to the ceiling to stop tears welling up while I was at my desk, going for a break to let it out a bit, getting in the car to go home and letting it all go, all that kind of stuff. But it really does get better, and the time it takes to recover from each horrible milestone that sets you back again is less and less each time. It is so hard though, and while reading your post I just nodded my head thinking "Yup, recognise that..., Yup, recognise that..., Yup, recognise that..." You are not alone. Woke up super early for work. Couldnt focus on my work I felt like i wasnt there, always thinking about her and what we had, every little detail would make me think of her. I had to take like 7 breaks to go to the bathroom and just cry. I started feeling hopeless, aggravated, annoyed etc. Then about an hour before i leave i cry really hard sitting outside by myself and I begin to feel better, I start thinking about my new future, different jobs i can have, How much money im gonna be making. I get home from work and the hopelessness starts all over again, I work out to try and forget it but it doesnt help at all. Now as im writing this im beginning to feel better even though my anxiety is running wild. I can literally feel a burning sensation under my skin I cant ****ing stand this anxiety anymore.
mickleb Posted November 12, 2009 Posted November 12, 2009 O god i cant stop crying. I went to her house to take back her laptop and the rest of her stuff, she wasn't home. Her mom was so i just left it there I'm not surprised you can't stop crying. I found this SO painful. Get it out, Ult. Write letters to her you won't post. Write here. Take good, good care of yourself. I'm really hoping you're feeling a bit better today. x
HeavenOrHell Posted November 12, 2009 Posted November 12, 2009 Hey, REAL MEN CRY!! Crying=healing, men do it, women do it it's universal and natural. Is he supposed to pretend he doesn't give a sh*t? How does stifling your grief help? And maybe his ex IS crying, my ex certainly has even though he is the one who did the dumping. I went through some major sh** last year. Check out my posts if you want or threads or whatever. I know that anxiety........it is unbearable. But you have to be a grown man. A MAN. Everything isn't always going to work out in life. Especially the unpredictable,emotionally challenging relationships with women. You have to get a fu**ing grip man. What your feeling now will ultimately feel silly in about a year from now. Trust me, I still feel some remorse for my ex, but it is mostly self-directed anger for letting that dumb ass B_t__ get the best of me. Never again! Grow a pair bro. She is not sitting around crying about you. She is probably maxin' and relaxin' with some new dude. Trust me, if she is not upset......she had a plan B. Keep posting here. It's a good thing. We are here to help you through the storm. You can bet that you are NOT ALONE. peace
Author Ultiman Posted November 13, 2009 Author Posted November 13, 2009 (edited) I'm not surprised you can't stop crying. I found this SO painful. Get it out, Ult. Write letters to her you won't post. Write here. Take good, good care of yourself. I'm really hoping you're feeling a bit better today. x I am thank god i am This morning woke up feeling depressed. Took care of some stuff for school and mailed my resume to a couple of jobs. Ended up texting her after finding a folder where she wrote on the front cover J loves K K loves J. Made me feel so bad and I texted her telling her I missed her so bad. We texted back and forth she asked me if i found a job yet and i said yea then i cracked and told her i wanted to see her, i missed her and loved her and she said that im not ready to see her yet and we shouldnt be having this conversation. I took the message and something in me began brewing... Anger towards her. I started feeling better ended up going to my best friends house and hanging out with him and my other good friend and some of his boys. Wow what a great day we spent laughing playing checkers and basketball talking crap. I had such a good day I would still think about her but it was different. I feel like im beginning to accept the circumstances im in and im beginning to feel mad towards her and what she is doing to me. Today i laughed the hardest I have in months wow how healing laughter is to the human soul. Also something has changed about me in these past weeks. Before i would never understand how people say make the best of the situations your in no matter what. I implemented that mentality today and ended up enjoying myself like never before. So my advice to anyone out there suffering through break ups: Find your good friends, the ones that make you laugh the most and just clown around and laugh laugh laugh Edited November 13, 2009 by Ultiman
Sysyphus28 Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 Yeah maybe she is.....or most likely, she is not. Giving a sh** is one thing, allowing yourself to be emotionally controlled is another. Breaking down at work over a relationship over and over again is NOT healing. It is allowing something to consume you. This manner of consumption is often related to some compulsion or compulsive behavior. Enabling someone's complete power over your mental health is the opposit of healing! Being rationale and mature is the wiser choice, and inevitably the better course of action for your successful FULL-CIRCLE healing process. Your ex might have cried a bit. BUT GET REAL, he broke up with you, his tears may have been from guilt....not because he wanted you back. Self-Knowledge is the key for the gentleman to regain his sanity. It is the key for everyone. To know the nature of love you must first know thyself. This gentleman needs to stop being the "victim" and MOVE ON....................keep work at work and home at home. Real men do cry, but real men do not continue to act like a baby and cry. Thier comes a time to wipe the tears from your face and MAN the F*** up. TRUTH Hey, REAL MEN CRY!! Crying=healing, men do it, women do it it's universal and natural. Is he supposed to pretend he doesn't give a sh*t? How does stifling your grief help? And maybe his ex IS crying, my ex certainly has even though he is the one who did the dumping.
Author Ultiman Posted November 13, 2009 Author Posted November 13, 2009 Yeah maybe she is.....or most likely, she is not. Giving a sh** is one thing, allowing yourself to be emotionally controlled is another. Breaking down at work over a relationship over and over again is NOT healing. It is allowing something to consume you. This manner of consumption is often related to some compulsion or compulsive behavior. Enabling someone's complete power over your mental health is the opposit of healing! Being rationale and mature is the wiser choice, and inevitably the better course of action for your successful FULL-CIRCLE healing process. Your ex might have cried a bit. BUT GET REAL, he broke up with you, his tears may have been from guilt....not because he wanted you back. Self-Knowledge is the key for the gentleman to regain his sanity. It is the key for everyone. To know the nature of love you must first know thyself. This gentleman needs to stop being the "victim" and MOVE ON....................keep work at work and home at home. Real men do cry, but real men do not continue to act like a baby and cry. Thier comes a time to wipe the tears from your face and MAN the F*** up. TRUTH You have no ****ing idea what I have been through these past weeks. Now before you go ranting and telling me to MAN up know one thing I lost the love of my life a girl I found when i was deeply depressed after my parents divorce, My fathers subsequent collapse into cocaine addiction and the collapse of my entire family and support unit. She became my support and for the past three years was there for me. She treated me like a king, Never lying, never cheating, honestly the closest to perfection I have ever come across. Her family became my new family, they gave me a job, they fed me, took me on vacations, to the beach and let me sleep over many times. She was my angel a hardworking caring women. Her intelligence matched mines, the most important thing I look for in a relationship. I lost my virginity to her and her to me. She is everything I have ever and will ever look for in a girl and more. I was ready to get married to her and spend the rest of my life with her and now she is gone. The exact day She broke up with me I stopped taking drugs. Drugs where my coping mechanism for stress and anxiety. The drugs are gone, she is gone and then i proceed to get laid off from my job all in the same week. I dont cry like that at work everyday I just have certain days that are harder than other. You ****ing idiot have no idea what ur talking about. You have no idea how stressful drug withdrawal is. I went through everything at the same time and it has been ****ing hard. So until you put yourself in my shoes PLEASE SHUT THE F U C K K up
nobleguy Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 You have no ****ing idea what I have been through these past weeks. A guy at work has broken up with his girlfriend this week but you would barely know. Maybe he hides it better than me. Maybe he just didn't care that much, maybe I'm a wimp or over-sensitive, I'm not sure. But I feel the same as you. I for one get you when you talk about her being 'The One'. In reality she is probably 'One of a Number', but knowing that there are others out there for you doesn't take away that pain for the one you've lost does it? There is no switch just to turn emotions off.
Odyssey Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 Sysyphus, i don't think telling people to just 'man up' in their early stage of breakup is helpful at all. Because (a) they won't listen anyway like an addict coming off an addiction. (b) it's not like a mechanical switch you can simply shut off. © Ultiman's breakup wasn't clear cut like the ex cheated/lied/or had major issues against the ex, for him to be angry about. Personally, i see the issue was with him and she gave him plenty of chances. But i think he's realised this now. Sysyphus, i remember you found it hard fighting the urge to maintain nc back in September too. We all cope in different ways.
Odyssey Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 A guy at work has broken up with his girlfriend this week but you would barely know. Maybe he hides it better than me. Maybe he just didn't care that much... Sometimes the strongest people in the morning are the ones that cry themselves to sleep at night.
nobleguy Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 Sometimes the strongest people in the morning are the ones that cry themselves to sleep at night. Yeah that really is a very very good point...
Author Ultiman Posted November 13, 2009 Author Posted November 13, 2009 After reading a bunch of your posts Sysyphus I would like to point out that it took you over 3 months to get over your ex. Your here telling me that after 3 weeks i need to man up and grow some balls.... Ironically enough I feel myself getting over her, I feel myself healing, I feel myself finally accepting that she is not getting back with me and it doesnt matter because now i am single. Today I had only one down moment at work which went away in about 30 minutes, no crying in 3 days. And yet I need to grow some balls and man up.
Sysyphus28 Posted November 26, 2009 Posted November 26, 2009 After reading a bunch of your posts Sysyphus I would like to point out that it took you over 3 months to get over your ex. Your here telling me that after 3 weeks i need to man up and grow some balls.... Ironically enough I feel myself getting over her, I feel myself healing, I feel myself finally accepting that she is not getting back with me and it doesnt matter because now i am single. Today I had only one down moment at work which went away in about 30 minutes, no crying in 3 days. And yet I need to grow some balls and man up. Look at you.........getting better everyday!! Baby steppin' it!! Turning your crying and bitching into some GOOD OL' fashion MALE aggression. That's the way!! You should be proud of yourself! Instead of crying into your cereal your MAN-ING UP! YES, I went through an awful break-up, you know what helped me snap out of it. This website. People telling me, SCREAMING AT ME, that I needed to NOT let someone NOT wanting me make me feel so POORLY. I felt terrible and rejected and used and hurt................BUT one person suggested a book and gave me amazing advice. Remember where you come from and who you are and GAIN STRENGTH FROM THAT. You can throw another tantrum and curse at me. HAHAHHAHAHHAHAH. I'll survive from your weak ass, unfounded, mis-placed baby fits. I am giving you good advice. Start the healing early or end up like me CRYING FOR THREE MONTHS!! I'm trying to help you BRO' I put this bunny at the end for you. Hug it and squeeze it and help it wipe up your tears.
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