weltrav Posted November 11, 2009 Posted November 11, 2009 Okay, so ex and I have been on NC for just over 2 weeks. She doesn't know I decided to go NC, I just did and haven't really heard from her. Before we went on NC, she had pissed me off and it ended with me unfriending her on facebook so that I wouldn't see her on it. Well she freaked out about it, saying it was "the principle" of not even being friends on FB that bothered her. Soooo, I refriended her. Well, today I get on Facebook and there on my newsfeed is crap written on her profile between her and her new boyfriend. I'm trying not to let it ruin my day but it has really set me in a bad mood. I hovered the mouse over the X to unfriend her but I couldn't quite do it, don't know if it is because I can't let her go or because I don't want to look like I'm childish, especially after having already gone through this like a month ago and re-adding her. D*** technology
McGrupp Posted November 11, 2009 Posted November 11, 2009 (edited) why dont u put her on ignore? you wont have to see her ****, but you dont have to unfriend her. Edited November 11, 2009 by McGrupp
USMCHokie Posted November 11, 2009 Posted November 11, 2009 Well she freaked out about it, saying it was "the principle" of not even being friends on FB that bothered her. Ok...seriously...who gives a crap what bothers her...I'm sure she still means a lot to you, but come on...you have to look out for yourself...who the heck does she think she is... Block without remorse...
Thebob Posted November 11, 2009 Posted November 11, 2009 Okay, so ex and I have been on NC for just over 2 weeks. She doesn't know I decided to go NC, I just did and haven't really heard from her. Before we went on NC, she had pissed me off and it ended with me unfriending her on facebook so that I wouldn't see her on it. Well she freaked out about it, saying it was "the principle" of not even being friends on FB that bothered her. Soooo, I refriended her. Well, today I get on Facebook and there on my newsfeed is crap written on her profile between her and her new boyfriend. I'm trying not to let it ruin my day but it has really set me in a bad mood. I hovered the mouse over the X to unfriend her but I couldn't quite do it, don't know if it is because I can't let her go or because I don't want to look like I'm childish, especially after having already gone through this like a month ago and re-adding her. D*** technology I'm in the same situation, if I unfriend her then I look immature and can't deal with the pain. or if I keep it up I see the photos of us that she also keeps herself tagged in. I really don't know what to do, F*ck facebook, that stuff is murder to your mind. Thebob
USMCHokie Posted November 11, 2009 Posted November 11, 2009 I'm in the same situation, if I unfriend her then I look immature and can't deal with the pain. or if I keep it up I see the photos of us that she also keeps herself tagged in. I have absolutely no idea how this would make you look immature...if your ex was to get all butthurt over not being friends on Facebook, then I think she's the one with the problems...and just untag yourself from all the photos on Facebook that you're tagged together in...I know there are dozens of photos belonging to mutual friends that me and the ex are in floating around on Facebook that are completely untagged...
HeavenOrHell Posted November 11, 2009 Posted November 11, 2009 fb is a curse I deleted my ex but he immediately requested me again and asked me next day "did you mean to delete me?" Well yes I did mean to!
Thebob Posted November 11, 2009 Posted November 11, 2009 I have absolutely no idea how this would make you look immature...if your ex was to get all butthurt over not being friends on Facebook, then I think she's the one with the problems...and just untag yourself from all the photos on Facebook that you're tagged together in...I know there are dozens of photos belonging to mutual friends that me and the ex are in floating around on Facebook that are completely untagged... I mean I'm a guy and all men have dignity i think. So if she can handle having those photos up I feel that I should. I have asked multiple girlfriends of mine and they say to keep them up and keep her as a friend so I don't look like a p*ssy. Thebob
USMCHokie Posted November 11, 2009 Posted November 11, 2009 I mean I'm a guy and all men have dignity i think. So if she can handle having those photos up I feel that I should. I have asked multiple girlfriends of mine and they say to keep them up and keep her as a friend so I don't look like a p*ssy. Thebob How old are you and her by the way...? I don't think it's about dignity and all that crap...you can still keep all your dignity and not be connected on Facebook whether it's as friends or in tagged photos...some people nowadays don't have a real life of their own so they have to live vicariously through Facebook...they value their "Facebook life" more than their real life...they value themselves based on how others think of them... So all I'm saying is, who gives a crap what other people think about whether you're friends on Facebook with an ex...seriously...do those people have lives outside Facebook...? You know your own worth...I'd MUCH rather be an awesome person in real life than be an insecure attention whore on Facebook...that's the dignity you should value...
HeavenOrHell Posted November 11, 2009 Posted November 11, 2009 Seems to be a lot of sweeping statements about men and women going around!! I have dignity and I'm a woman, one of my exes didn't have dignity and he's male. Some people have dignity some don't, nothing to do with what sex we are. I mean I'm a guy and all men have dignity i think. So if she can handle having those photos up I feel that I should. I have asked multiple girlfriends of mine and they say to keep them up and keep her as a friend so I don't look like a p*ssy. Thebob
Author weltrav Posted November 11, 2009 Author Posted November 11, 2009 We're both 24 and I can't speak for her, but I do not really 'live through' facebook in any way. I check it maybe once a day for emails from friends but rarely spend much time looking at friends' photos, games, etc. I've just been trying to purge the ex out of my life in the past few days: got a new cell phone with her texts blocked and erased old emails from her so that I won't be tempted to look at them. This facebook thing just bothers me because it is a temptation always there to drive me crazy. I'm still undecided... kinda leaning towards keeping her as a 'friend' on there but mess around with privacy settings so that she doesn't show up in my news feed. All I have to do then is try to keep from ever getting curious and looking at her page.
USMCHokie Posted November 11, 2009 Posted November 11, 2009 We're both 24 and I can't speak for her, but I do not really 'live through' facebook in any way. I check it maybe once a day for emails from friends but rarely spend much time looking at friends' photos, games, etc. I've just been trying to purge the ex out of my life in the past few days: got a new cell phone with her texts blocked and erased old emails from her so that I won't be tempted to look at them. This facebook thing just bothers me because it is a temptation always there to drive me crazy. I'm still undecided... kinda leaning towards keeping her as a 'friend' on there but mess around with privacy settings so that she doesn't show up in my news feed. All I have to do then is try to keep from ever getting curious and looking at her page. You can take it one step further and just block her. That way she doesn't show up at all and you can't look at her page, even if you're tempted. This is all about you...not her...there is no benefit to you keeping her around as a Facebook friend...everything you do after a breakup is about helping you, not catering to what an ex wants... I understand that you still care about her and probably want her back...as others have said before, it doesn't matter what you want...it's what she wants...if she wants you back, she'll come breaking down your door to get you back...nothing you do will affect that... Block. Block. Block.
Author weltrav Posted November 12, 2009 Author Posted November 12, 2009 I just deactivated my facebook account altogether. Too many old messages, photos, and connections to possibly deal with. We'll see if this was the right thing to do :/
Author weltrav Posted November 12, 2009 Author Posted November 12, 2009 Oh, and as one last bit of sick irony, when you press "deactivate account" facebook asks, "are you sure you want to deactivate?" and then shows some randomly selected pictures you've been tagged in with other friends, saying " 'such and such person' will miss you" etc. Needless to say, the first one on the list was " 'Your ex' will miss you" If that were true I wouldn't be in this mess...
Recommended Posts