Ody Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 What is the REAL problem here? You dont love him eh? That while not perfect, the pulling out method is actually fairly effective relative to popping indoors.
16thstreet Posted November 14, 2009 Posted November 14, 2009 My family is ultra-conservative. My parents would die if I were to get pregnant. I was suppossed to have gotten on the pill this weekend (if my period comes before then, of course). Call me crazy, immature or whatever you want. I was disappointed when my pregnancy test came back negative. I guess I'm afraid of getting pregnant because I am afraid of my family's reaction. Deep down, I am sad to know that I am not pregnant. I think I want a baby too. It is hard coming from an ultraconservative background, but I second Ody's advice. It is okay to want to have a baby and you shouldn't feel bad about your disappointment. But it is even better to have a child with someone that you know and trust and is going to be there. I am not saying that your BF isn't such a person, but one month--even the most intense extreme month--is very little time to really know.
16thstreet Posted November 14, 2009 Posted November 14, 2009 Call me crazy, immature or whatever you want. I was disappointed when my pregnancy test came back negative. I'm not going to call you any names.
Pizzaman81 Posted November 14, 2009 Posted November 14, 2009 I threw away my pills last night... You threw the wrong thing away, it's HIM you should be throwing away... nonsense... does he WANT kids?! What a strange guy -Pizzaman
Kamille Posted November 14, 2009 Posted November 14, 2009 So you two have been sleeping together for a month... How long have you been together as bf and gf? We have been using the withdrawal method so he said we should be fine. I didn'y want to depend on him so that's why I got birth control. I just didn't know what to think. Other than that maybe he did want me to get pregnant. This was my mom's introduction to the withdrawal method: 'You know what we call people who use the withdrawal method? Parents.' I think I want a baby too. Really? Then make that decision. Talk about what having babies would mean. Ask him if he thinks he is ready. Look into it. Get informed. Consult a doctor! Want kids? Do it right.
crazy_grl Posted November 14, 2009 Posted November 14, 2009 I think I want a baby too. I've heard before of women who weren't ready for babies feeling disappointed because they found out a pregnancy scare was negative. So I suppose that's a normal feeling for someone who eventually wants kids. 1 - Do you want kids RIGHT NOW? 2 - Do you know this guy is the right guy to have them with? I agree with everyone else. The fact that he got mad at you for something that is completely your choice is a huge red flag the signals he might be controlling. Please for your own sake, get the birth control pills back out and be extra observant for any other indications of him being controlling. That's not the kind of man you want parenting your kids.
PinkToes Posted November 14, 2009 Posted November 14, 2009 Unless you're prepared to raise a child by yourself for the next 18 years (and have a pretty good idea where you're gonna come up with the 100s of thousands of dollars that's going to cost), STOP HAVING UNPROTECTED SEX with a guy you've known for a month. You can do whatever you want with your body, but please don't bring a child into this situation.
Pink Cupcakes Posted November 14, 2009 Posted November 14, 2009 Since he is standing on his principles of not using birth control, than you stand on yours and don't sleep with him again unless you're married.
DanielMadr Posted November 14, 2009 Posted November 14, 2009 Since he is standing on his principles of not using birth control, than you stand on yours and don't sleep with him again unless you're married. Withdrawing sex is supposed to happen after the marriage;) What is wrong in figuring out if the couple can concieve a child first. I would hate to get married and find out we can't have kids.
Ody Posted November 14, 2009 Posted November 14, 2009 Call me crazy, immature or whatever you want. I was disappointed when my pregnancy test came back negative. I guess I'm afraid of getting pregnant because I am afraid of my family's reaction. Deep down, I am sad to know that I am not pregnant. I think I want a baby too. Since he is standing on his principles of not using birth control, than you stand on yours and don't sleep with him again unless you're married. Somebody didn't read the entire thread...
mark982 Posted November 14, 2009 Posted November 14, 2009 by your bf getting upset about not knowing you were going to the dr. for birth control,i think he has some serious control issues.
DanielMadr Posted November 14, 2009 Posted November 14, 2009 by your bf getting upset about not knowing you were going to the dr. for birth control,i think he has some serious control issues. I dont say it is not the case. But havent you considered he assumed she is OK with having a child with him? And now is sort of disappointed she changed her mind? I mean he would have been really ignorant to not knowing what he is doing....no rubber, no pills.
Pink Cupcakes Posted November 14, 2009 Posted November 14, 2009 (edited) Somebody didn't read the entire thread... yes, I did read the entire thread. She doesn't want to have sex without proper birth control, that is her principle. So she shouldn't sleep with him until he is OK with her using birth control. then, if they get married, she can go off the birth control so they can choose together as a couple when the time to have a baby is. She shouldn't go without birth control and take the risk of getting pregnant with a guy she isn't in a marriage-committed relationship to, just for his ego. OP, seriously, don't sleep with him until he presents an engagement ring. Planning a baby as an unmarried couple is not a good idea and is wrong. Don't do this to the child as a power play between you two (because the baby would be born out of a power play - you think you want to have a baby with him because now you are in "love", and he wants you to prove your love for him by being willing to have a baby should you get pregnant - not a good combo, it should be a marriage relationship and specifically planned.) Edited November 14, 2009 by Pink Cupcakes
Author simplythebest Posted November 15, 2009 Author Posted November 15, 2009 i do like him, but don't know if im ready for a baby yet. J
DanielMadr Posted November 15, 2009 Posted November 15, 2009 i do like him, but don't know if im ready for a baby yet. J So tell him that. Woman not ready for a baby with a guy she loves? Well, he will be a bit disappointed, who can blame him, it doesn't happen that much - reverse situation is more common. Make it up to him by a lots of oral sex. It should appease him.
dreamergrl Posted November 15, 2009 Posted November 15, 2009 It's just my opinion here but... Shouldn't have this all been talked about prior to sex? And just playing devils advocate here... but maybe he's had some bad experiences with women on bc in the past. It makes some quite hormonal. Not that he approached it right.. but by him saying this doesn't necessarily mean he wants to knock her up. In any event... if you're having sex with someone, you should be able to talk together about all this.
Recommended Posts