lovebound Posted November 11, 2009 Posted November 11, 2009 I am curious to know if anyone has successfully used this technique or love tactic mentioned by relationship experts called "drop them cold". I recently got rejected by a guy that first showed an increasind interest in me for a very long time, but then lost interest. According to the tactic, this actually works in regaining their interest back when you have been too available before, which i think i have done to my mistake. Has anyone tried it trying to get someone back and has it work? Im curious, i have not spoken or called him for a week or so since our angry split, and moving on about my life, but has anyone experimented with it and has it worked?
You'reasian Posted November 11, 2009 Posted November 11, 2009 I am curious to know if anyone has successfully used this technique or love tactic mentioned by relationship experts called "drop them cold". I recently got rejected by a guy that first showed an increasind interest in me for a very long time, but then lost interest. According to the tactic, this actually works in regaining their interest back when you have been too available before, which i think i have done to my mistake. Has anyone tried it trying to get someone back and has it work? Im curious, i have not spoken or called him for a week or so since our angry split, and moving on about my life, but has anyone experimented with it and has it worked? If a female makes herself generally unavailabe, I generally loose interest and move on. I don't chase.
stillafool Posted November 11, 2009 Posted November 11, 2009 Yes I have used that tactic when I was single and it did work for me. I think the other person has to really on some level want to be with you in order for this to work. If you try this and get no response it is because they were ready to move on anyway and you provided them with an "out".
You'reasian Posted November 11, 2009 Posted November 11, 2009 If you try this and get no response it is because they were ready to move on anyway and you provided them with an "out". It could also mean that playing games is a deal breaker, the person has a backbone and doesn't center their life around the other person.
Author lovebound Posted November 11, 2009 Author Posted November 11, 2009 Well, one thing that he did complain about one time to me, and I think he was wanting me to read between lines, was that if someone shows him too much interest, it pushes him away, and that they should let the man come to the woman. if he feels this way, wouldnt something like this call his attention? and you are right, for anyone to come back, they would have to have an interest in the person to begin with. Is there any other successful stories, and what happened? I would like to know the circumstances so i get an idea how effective this can be.
norajane Posted November 11, 2009 Posted November 11, 2009 The only guy you'll get using that tactic is one who prefers the chase to actually being in a relationship and developing any kind of emotional intimacy. If he loses interest when you are in his life, and only regains it when you are not, what do you think will happen once you reel him in? Will you need to continue dropping him repeatedly in order to maintain his interest? Does not sound like a quality relationship. But if all you want is a guy to play games with and shag, maybe that's good enough for you.
TheLoneSock Posted November 11, 2009 Posted November 11, 2009 I am curious to know if anyone has successfully used this technique or love tactic mentioned by relationship experts called "drop them cold". I recently got rejected by a guy that first showed an increasind interest in me for a very long time, but then lost interest. According to the tactic, this actually works in regaining their interest back when you have been too available before, which i think i have done to my mistake. Has anyone tried it trying to get someone back and has it work? Im curious, i have not spoken or called him for a week or so since our angry split, and moving on about my life, but has anyone experimented with it and has it worked? There is a difference between chasing and putting up with 'unavailability' games. For instance, I have no problem initiating most of the contacts, I'm still somewhat old fashioned in that sense, but that doesn't mean I'll put up with push and pull games- I like consistency. So if I call you and you intentionally 'wait' a day or two to call me back, I'll be able to pick up on your BS and I'll write you off. Actually did this recently with a girl I've been talking to. We would talk on the phone atleast once a day, maybe every other day, and text sporadically all through out the day. I'd say about 3/4 of the time contact was initiated by me, the other 1/4 by her. I'm fine with that, I do enjoy the chase. But that number changed over the course of a couple days, to where it was me doing it %90 of the time, like she was trying to train me to do ALL the contacting. That didn't fly with me, it just pissed me off. So I put her on the backburner and started talking to other girls instead; girls that wanted to be very available to me and not intentionally play the push and pull game. The quickest way to make a guy lose interest is to inject mind games into the picture. Guaranteed to make your guy lose ALL interest in you (unless they are the needy type that puts up with such BS in the hopes of you continuing something with him). So if your girlfriends are saying things like, "oh you're calling him too much", or "oh you answered that text too quickly" - don't listen to them... they're probably single, lonely cunts If you like the guy, call him. It's not rocket science. If HE is playing games or putting you off by not responding, write him off and move on to someone more interesting. There are way too many good matches out there for you to spend your time on someone who is acting like that. There is always better, that goes for men AND women.
Lizzie60 Posted November 11, 2009 Posted November 11, 2009 I think there is a difference between being independent (not clingy) and to be unavailable... the Drop them cold would be to become unavailable IMO... then I would just ignore her if I were a guy...
You'reasian Posted November 11, 2009 Posted November 11, 2009 (edited) Well, one thing that he did complain about one time to me, and I think he was wanting me to read between lines, was that if someone shows him too much interest, it pushes him away, and that they should let the man come to the woman. if he feels this way, wouldnt something like this call his attention? and you are right, for anyone to come back, they would have to have an interest in the person to begin with. Is there any other successful stories, and what happened? I would like to know the circumstances so i get an idea how effective this can be. Its good to come together (no pun intended...yet). I think each person should have their own lives outside of their partner. Maybe I'm the exception; I will not chase, especially in the start of a new relationship. Women can be flaky. I think a slow, gradual build is the way to go. Being generally unavailabe to me means that she is not interested and doesn't have the back bone to tell me. Edited November 11, 2009 by You'reasian
SadandConfusedWA Posted November 11, 2009 Posted November 11, 2009 It did work for me, but the guy would always lose his interest when I became available again (and at some point you have to, otherwise there is no relationship).
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