Author turnstone Posted November 11, 2009 Author Posted November 11, 2009 TS, I just read all the threads, and I just realized that you were a woman. Based on your first post,for some reason I thought you were male. My apologies, I wouldn't have asked my original question if I had known. I also wouldn't have bantered with you as well..again my apologies. Now, now, lets not add sexism to the list. No problem. Really.
LifesontheUp Posted November 11, 2009 Posted November 11, 2009 Have I missed something here What does it matter what gender the OP is! Turnstone, I'm really sorry to hear your news. Infidelity is hard to cope with, without catching an STD. Please take care.
JumpinJimmy Posted November 11, 2009 Posted November 11, 2009 No sexism here, but I do respond differently to people of different genders. If any man says otherwise, he is lying.
Author turnstone Posted November 11, 2009 Author Posted November 11, 2009 Life is on the up - thank you. Someone caring... well, it means a lot.
You'reasian Posted November 11, 2009 Posted November 11, 2009 Now, now, lets not add sexism to the list. No problem. Really. Turnstone, this is hard to deal with. I am glad that this is treatable. Going postal is not the best response - it may be a figure of speech - but unfortunately, this was your decision to start a relationship with a married man. No one can tell you what you can't do, but in this case it takes two to tango and if you had avoided contact with this married/partnered man it would have saved you the grief of getting treatment. If a man is cheating on his significant other, that's a sign that he gets around (unless you are the first) and that you should protect yourself. Consider asking your future partners more about their sexual history for your own health and please avoid the advances of a married man. I hope you have learned something from this and I wish you a speedy recovery.
Lizzie60 Posted November 11, 2009 Posted November 11, 2009 Wow.. this thread is confusing.. When I read the first post.. I, (like jumpinjimmy) thought it was a man.. then I read the thread and saw it was a woman.. but I thought she's the wife not the OW.. I'm confused..
JumpinJimmy Posted November 11, 2009 Posted November 11, 2009 Have I missed something here What does it matter what gender the OP is! I don't want to TJ, so I will keep it brief. It is different, since men and women cheat for different reasons. Typically men cheat for shallow and superficial reasons...the pursuit and sex...women cheat for much more nobler reasons....emotional fufillment,companionship...therefore if the poster was male, then most likely his wife is cheating because he has failed in providing her emotional needs. If a guy is cheating, typically it is because he wants more sex, or sex with different women. There are no absolutes here though. I have more sympathy for the women. Besides, it just isn't polite to ask a lady..... guy talk is different.
Author turnstone Posted November 11, 2009 Author Posted November 11, 2009 You'reasian, this is my husband we're talking about. The same one who's cheated on me with numerous other women and the one I left as soon as I found out what he'd done. Please, please stop confusing me with someone who's prepared to be a bit on the side.
Author turnstone Posted November 11, 2009 Author Posted November 11, 2009 I don't want to TJ, so I will keep it brief You just did threadjack, no matter how brief.
PhoenixRise Posted November 11, 2009 Posted November 11, 2009 Here is a woman who is PISSED off that her husband cheated on her and gave her an STD. Why is she getting such a hard time from posters here? OP I am sorry that you are going through this.. An STD is just adding additional insult to injury. Glad it is curable. AND I hope it does help you get a better settlement in the divorce. Take Care Of Yourself
JumpinJimmy Posted November 11, 2009 Posted November 11, 2009 You just did threadjack, no matter how brief. Again, I find myself apologizing. I hang my head in shame and I will sit in my corner silent.
Lizzie60 Posted November 11, 2009 Posted November 11, 2009 OK... now you left him... get some antibiotics and it will be all gone within a week.. I know it sucks.. but at least you can move on now..
Author turnstone Posted November 11, 2009 Author Posted November 11, 2009 PhoenixRise, thanks to you too. I guess you know what it means to me. Oh I have moved on Lizzie, I am out the door with my neat little 365, my Irish Wolfhound, my $k's worth of jewelry, my fabulous wardrobe and most importantly, my honor intact. All that remains is to screw him out of every cent that I am owed and to decide which charity will benefit.
You'reasian Posted November 11, 2009 Posted November 11, 2009 You'reasian, this is my husband we're talking about. The same one who's cheated on me with numerous other women and the one I left as soon as I found out what he'd done. Please, please stop confusing me with someone who's prepared to be a bit on the side. Fair enough. I wish the best for you, moving forward. This is a pretty supportive community and there's bound to be some good answers here if you need them.
2sure Posted November 11, 2009 Posted November 11, 2009 this was your decision to start a relationship with a married man. Consider asking your future partners more about their sexual history for your own health and please avoid the advances of a married man. I hope you have learned something from this and I wish you a speedy recovery. The married man she started a relationship WAS HER OWN HUSBAND! Her H cheated on her. After she discovered this she went and got an STD test, which is what everyone should do. She didnt know he was cheating when she was having sex with him. I get that sometimes its easy to respond quickly without reading a thread...but to respond quickly and repeatedly with such condescending advice when one has NO IDEA whats happening....
Samantha0905 Posted November 11, 2009 Posted November 11, 2009 Even though I am often amused by the slow motion car wrecks on LS, I didn't feel sleazy asking it. I mean were talking about an STD here, and I am curious as to what the prevelant ones are. Life is on the up - thank you. Someone caring... well, it means a lot. I was interested in what particular STD also as I first started reading this thread. Not out of nosiness, but out of concern as some are treatable and some are a gift for life. Although, obviously, it's a terrible thing your spouse has given you a STD, I'm glad it's one that is treatable. A friend of mine contracted herpes. That's a gift that keeps on giving. In any event, why should you be the one informing the OW(s)? Isn't that your husband's responsibility? Or do you think he will not do so? If not, then yes -- I think a letter from your attorney would be best. Do you know of all of them in able to contact them? I hope he has the sense to tell them all. They certainly should be informed.
learnfrommymistakes Posted November 11, 2009 Posted November 11, 2009 turnstone OMG I am so sorry. I have read the threads and some harsh words were in these posts. You came here for support and help and are, with great reason, angry .... I am so glad you got tested and found out, and now can get medicine and get all better. You dont deserve this, no one does. I dont trust people when it comes to diseases. Curious, do you know long it takes to get results from STD / herpes tests etc? I was with a man I dont trust, and he wants to come see me, I told him he needs to take an AIDS test etc, but dont know the turnaround for the other tests, he wants to come see me in a week and a half. I told him i would not see him without the clean tests, but i dont think he is going to get them done in time to see me... I am so very sorry, this is just harsh...and I would be livid too. ((HUGS)) love and support always. here for you..:-) lfmm
eeyore1981 Posted November 11, 2009 Posted November 11, 2009 Turnstone, I am very sorry you are having to go through this. I would be absolutely furious. I still remember how pissed I was waiting for my results to come back. Hang in there. Posters in general, try reading comprehension. I have seen so many threads in here go off the rails from people not reading the actual posts. Sometimes it has been downright hysterically funny, but in this case it was pretty brutal.
mark982 Posted November 11, 2009 Posted November 11, 2009 turnstone,i'm so sorry for this,your husbands a azz for putting your health at stake. my ex also gave me a std(many yrs. ago). hope all works out well for you.
JaneInVegas Posted November 12, 2009 Posted November 12, 2009 Wow.. this thread is confusing.. When I read the first post.. I, (like jumpinjimmy) thought it was a man.. then I read the thread and saw it was a woman.. but I thought she's the wife not the OW.. I'm confused.. whew ... thought it was just me
Author turnstone Posted November 12, 2009 Author Posted November 12, 2009 turnstone OMG I am so sorry. I have read the threads and some harsh words were in these posts. You came here for support and help and are, with great reason, angry .... I am so glad you got tested and found out, and now can get medicine and get all better. You dont deserve this, no one does. I dont trust people when it comes to diseases. Curious, do you know long it takes to get results from STD / herpes tests etc? I was with a man I dont trust, and he wants to come see me, I told him he needs to take an AIDS test etc, but dont know the turnaround for the other tests, he wants to come see me in a week and a half. I told him i would not see him without the clean tests, but i dont think he is going to get them done in time to see me... I am so very sorry, this is just harsh...and I would be livid too. ((HUGS)) love and support always. here for you..:-) lfmm Thank you so much for your support. I would never have realised how much it would mean to have complete strangers care and I'm very grateful for kind words. You're so right to not trust others when it comes to diseases, but really, should you be contemplating sleeping with a man when you don't trust him anyway? The window (the time frame from infection until a test can detect any change) alters depending on the test and the infection. A qualified medical person would answer your question better as I would hate to give you even slightly erroneous information, there's too much at stake. But please reconsider seeing this guy. If you already feel you don't trust him, its just not worth it. I was interested in what particular STD also as I first started reading this thread. Not out of nosiness, but out of concern as some are treatable and some are a gift for life. Although, obviously, it's a terrible thing your spouse has given you a STD, I'm glad it's one that is treatable. A friend of mine contracted herpes. That's a gift that keeps on giving.Thank you, although as 2sure says, its really none of your business and although it would have been quite within your rights to ask, I was wrong to give out such personal information. Besides, this is only what I know so far the HIV test result is yet to come back. In any event, why should you be the one informing the OW(s)? Isn't that your husband's responsibility? Or do you think he will not do so? If not, then yes -- I think a letter from your attorney would be best. Do you know of all of them in able to contact them? I hope he has the sense to tell them all. They certainly should be informed. There are several reasons why I want to inform the OWomen. It is extremely unlikely that my nearly ex would tell them. Yes, he's that narcissistic. Secondly, by telling them, I remain in control of the situation, no one else gets to tell anyone anything without my say so and most importantly, hopefully I'll stop the infection from spreading further. Turnstone, I am very sorry you are having to go through this. I would be absolutely furious. I still remember how pissed I was waiting for my results to come back. Hang in there. Thank you, thank you. Its so good to know I'm not alone in this. Posters in general, try reading comprehension. I have seen so many threads in here go off the rails from people not reading the actual posts. Sometimes it has been downright hysterically funny, but in this case it was pretty brutal. Thank you again for this. Reading the thread back I realise how much in shock I was to not react in a stronger fashion. Infact, I'm not sure when I'll ever feel normal again. turnstone,i'm so sorry for this,your husbands a azz for putting your health at stake. my ex also gave me a std(many yrs. ago). hope all works out well for you. Mark, thank you. I hope the outcome was ok for you.
beyondsad Posted November 12, 2009 Posted November 12, 2009 Turnstone- Sorry for the bitchy comments from a few , it is not the majority. So sorry for you having to go thru this, it could be any of us. I got tested when I found out about his cheating and all I can say it was luck that I didn't have something too!! Hold your chin up and get whats owed to you!!!
2sure Posted November 12, 2009 Posted November 12, 2009 When I discovered my H's infidelity, I got tested and also had an STD. My H's infidelity had gone on for more than a year and included a vast array of partners - all listed in a contact list. I sent out a group email to all of them notifying them of the STD for a bunch of reasons.: First, because it was the responsible thing to do as a human being. I knew my H wasnt going to, he didnt care. Also, he couldnt have remembered who he had sex with or didnt from that list to save his life. Next, I sent it out as a group email listing all of the other contacts simply to show to these people , mostly the single women he lied to, that they need to be more aware. I should note that these contact names were used on craigslist and other such sites and didnt include real names. I also did not reveal mine or H's real name, but Identified him through the name, email, etc. he used. I felt this was one of the most reasonable things I did.
Author turnstone Posted November 12, 2009 Author Posted November 12, 2009 Did any of them contact you, 2sure? If so, would you advise me on the conversation and how you handled it? Beyondsad, thanks. I'm so glad you were ok. I'm going to have it sewn up, I swear.
beyondsad Posted November 12, 2009 Posted November 12, 2009 No don't do that - lets hope you find the perfect man, rich, blind, mute, great body and a big **** ha ha
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