The last time I'll run into him???

[MinTea]

So my ex broke up with me about 3 weeks ago. We have not contacted each other for about 2 weeks.

 

I do run into him once a week because we are both part of a local symphony. Because of the instruments we play, we're both on opposite ends of the room, so there isn't all that much interaction between us during rehearsals. We've also been avoiding each other during break time of the rehearsals (not looking at each other, weaving around the room to avoid getting too close to each other).

 

I avoid him because I'm so hurt by this situation, and I think he avoids me so I don't start asking questions about why we can't work things out.

 

The thing is, I'm only playing with this musical group because they needed some extra people who know what they're doing for one of the pieces. After the concert (which is in two days), I'll be completely done, yet my ex will still be performing with the group.

 

I don't know what to think of this... These rehearsals are the only times that I run into him anymore. I'm so scared that after this upcoming concert, I will not see him anymore.

 

These 3 weeks have moved so painfully slow! I just can't shake off this feeling of sadness and wanting to talk to him. I feel so defeated... During the first week of our breakup I said everything that I possibly could to try to work things out, and asked everything that I could think of to try to understand what's going on... I really hate feeling like there's nothing more I can do.

 

I know what I SHOULD do... I should stick to NC, block him from AIM and facebook (I keep looking at his page ), try to move on... I'm just to chicken to do it though...

 

I think it has been helping me to know over these past weeks that I'll run into him during rehearsals. But very soon, he's going to be out of my life. I don't want him to be!

 

What should I do? Tomorrow we have another rehearsal, and the next day will be 2 concerts (one in the morning, one in the evening).

 

Should I say something? Keep avoiding him?

 

The initial emotions I felt when we broke up were terrible... they have since gotten a little better, but I think that after this concert I'll be back to square one. The breakup will be so much more final. It's as if I'll be losing him all over again and there will REALLY be nothing left that I can do.

 

How do I get through this?

[MinTea]

I'm also wondering if I should block him from facebook.

 

I'm assuming that you all will say "DOOO IIIIT!" I just don't quite feel like I have the guts to do it though... but I do keep checking his page and bringing myself down because of it.

 

And let's say that I do feel like I could, do I do it now or after this concert? If I do it now, there is the potential that my ex would confront me about it in person at rehearsal tomorrow or on concert day. What if I break down? I want him to see me as being stronger. I don't want to be some pitiful begging creature to him. But I feel so hurt right now...

 

If he wants to reconcile, then I would rather have him talk to me on his own. I've already tried to make him talk to me, and that clearly hasn't helped me at all. I don't want him to see my blocking him as a cry for attention (which is what some of my friends think I would look like by blocking him.)

 

Again, what should I do?

[MinTea]

Did I say something wrong that no one wishes to reply to me?

 

I'm very upset right now (not because of that, but because today is concert day.)

 

I forgot to mention before that we actually have two concerts today. I just got back from the morning one... And I saw my ex again. I wanted to say something really quick to one of our mutual friends and he was right next to my ex. So, I the friend my little joke and then I went back to the side of the stage I was supposed to be on. I didn't really acknowledge my ex. BUT I REALLY WANTED TO!!! :'(

 

The final concert is going to be in about 6 hours. I can't calm down. I'm crying and upset. I can't believe that this is happening. This is going to be the last time I run into him.

 

He broke up with me because he didn't think the LDR thing is going to work... I came up with some solutions (before going NC) and he didn't believe that would work. Didn't even give me a chance to TRY! I know some things that I can do to make our relationship better... and it just kills me to let our relationship just slip away. The distance between us ISN'T all that far.

 

There's nothing more that I can say or do without him giving the 'go ahead'... and I shouldn't be initiating contact. I know all of this, but I feel so terrible!!!

 

I really want to call him.. or text him.. RIGHT NOW!!! :'(

 

But even if I did... I don't know what I'd even say.

 

I know the world won't really be ending after today.. but it feels like it will.

 

Can someone please give me some advice... or reassurance.. or something?

Thanks.

[BCCA]

I'm so scared that after this upcoming concert, I will not see him anymore.

 

To be frank, that wouldnt be such a bad thing. Its obvious that right now, he is a source of depression and bad feelings. You dont want to keep that around, it does you no good. Unfortunately, doing the right thing is never easy.

 

I know what I SHOULD do... I should stick to NC, block him from AIM and facebook (I keep looking at his page ), try to move on... I'm just to chicken to do it though...

 

Its not that youre too chicken, its that youre somewhat in denial. You still have lingering hopes that he'll come back, and you are affraid to do anything 'final', because then its definitely over for good. Truth be told, I doubt hes going to confront you about removing him from FB, especially if youre not even talking. You know what you need to do, so do it.

 

Did I say something wrong that no one wishes to reply to me?

 

No, but look over the threads on this board, and see how many of them are like exactly the same; person has been dumped, but wont let go, even though they need to. There is nothing anyone can say, we all know it sucks. Life is brutal sometimes, but thats just the way it is.

 

He broke up with me because he didn't think the LDR thing is going to work... I came up with some solutions (before going NC) and he didn't believe that would work. Didn't even give me a chance to TRY! I know some things that I can do to make our relationship better... and it just kills me to let our relationship just slip away. The distance between us ISN'T all that far.

 

You two are obviously not on the same page about certain things, and he isnt obligated to hear your side or give anything a chance. He has to do what he thinks is the best thing for HIM, which he seems to have decided is ending it with you.

 

Can someone please give me some advice... or reassurance.. or something?

 

You'll be ok, but you need to accept that things are over, and you may very well never see him again. I know that hurts, and its not what you want to hear, but its the truth.

 

Once you accept the situation for what it is, youll actually be on the road to recovery. Youre still kinda in denial, hoping he'll be back, thinking of the 'perfect thing to say', etc...this is all counter productive.