bear314 Posted November 11, 2009 Posted November 11, 2009 Have you ever read something that sounded like the story of your life? Well that was what my ex was intending when she wrote this essay. She sent it to me recently and I'm not sure what she's expecting for a reaction. The work is about a book she read and she decided to sew it according to our history. For reference she is represented as Eloise, my sister as Mary Jane, Lew as her current boyfriend, myself as Walt. It will make more sense as you read. Any and all questions, complains and concerns welcome for comment. Reading “Uncle Wiggly in Connecticut” by J.D Salinger, I came to one realization; I am Eloise. Some say we are made to love, made to find that special person and live happily ever after. Some say love is what brings us closer to our dying day. Normally, one goes through several “Lew’s” to find one “Walt”. Lew, representing every man in this world who does not fit into your puzzle called life and Walt, representing that man that is everything girl dreamed about when they were little. Eloise had that dream come true, that feeling of complete ecstasy, that feeling of fitting the last piece to her puzzle. Then he was gone. As for me, I met my Walt, loved my Walt and I lost my Walt. During my high school career, I had a good friend, my Mary Jane, who, at the time, I thought would be a life time friend. We told each other intimate secrets of family and lost lovers. We joked around and laughed until our stomachs hurt. Confided in each other and trusted one another whole heartedly. We’d write notes in class and text each other just to say “You’re a good friend. I love you.” Ideal, no? Now, being good friends, we know about each other’s family, including the ups and downs, tiffs and life altering arguments. Her parents were divorced; father happily remarried, three thousand miles away and mother hard working, raising three children. She had and older sister and brother who she took kindly to and talked about with a fondness. Her brother had always struggled with fitting into our excluding society of what he called “Cesspool Island” You see, I always had an attraction to him but never acted on it because he was my friend’s brother but eventually, the opportunity fell into my lap. After getting the blessing from her of a mere friendship with him, I acted. We began talking about simple things, broad things that just about anyone can have an opinion on. We called it the “Q” game. So you do not feel left out, reader, the “Q” game was merely asking one another questions back and forth to occupy time and get to know each other in the process. Simple chit chat turned into daily heartfelt conversations. We broke down the walls of our defenses and comforted our fears of what was bound to come. Before I knew what love was, it had already met me and took a hold of my life, flowing into my veins from fluttering heart. Reader, I often do not make sense. I stumble over my words and talk in circles. He not only understood my language but spoke it fluently and beautifully. He found my quirky sense of humor charming and I found every word that came out of his beautiful lips simply compelling. Together, we made perfect sense. We gave up this stupid world we lived in and just had each other. Mary Jane, however, had been forgotten and had been blinded of the whole thing. Eventually, she found out about what we had and disapproved with everything she had in her. I lost Mary Jane that day. No amount of talking or pleading helped, in fact, it made things worse. We were forced to sneak behind the backs of our family and friends and our forbidden love began to feel the brunt of it. We often find ourselves conflicted in what we had to do and what we wanted to do. He argued with his family and the guilt seeped into my heart. It was a rough few months and continued to get worse. When I realized it had gotten to the point of no return, I overheard Mary Jane confiding of how she missed her brother. I felt responsible for taking away and breaking up a family bond, I was responsible. I did what I had to do. Now, my Walt was a stubborn one, it was adorable but with this subject it was difficult. He would not take us leaving each other for the likes of any one as an answer. I had to lie, I had to hurt him, I had to leave him. He begged and it killed me because I wanted him more than anything. Months after we were silenced from each other, I found Lew. He is not as Lew was made out to be. He does fit in my puzzle, just not as perfectly as my Walt. Walt still has that puzzle piece and always will. He haunts my dreams, haunts my consciousness, and haunts my day dreams. It is childish, I admit, but I believe years from now, we’ll stumble into our lives again.
lostsoulmate Posted November 12, 2009 Posted November 12, 2009 Sounds like a twin flame situation. True love is just that.... true. And perhaps that is all.
Author bear314 Posted November 13, 2009 Author Posted November 13, 2009 Can you elaborate on what you mean
Recommended Posts