Exit Posted November 11, 2009 Posted November 11, 2009 ...and it feels good. Signed up for a couple free dating sites a while ago and I'm starting to build up some momentum and confidence. Let me make one thing clear it's been almost 7 months for me and this step of recovery should not be rushed at all. I actually had started accounts on these websites a few weeks earlier but I ended up deleting them because I was not ready. You have to be healed enough to roll with the punches. Putting yourself back out on the market is like Russian roulette, sometimes you'll hit it off, other girls will straight up ignore you and one website in particular even lets you know when a message was Deleted without even being read. If you are still feeling wounded from your breakup, the added rejection will just make you sick. I've met 2 or 3 girls so far and it hasn't led anywhere but it was fun and refreshing. This week I've really been on a roll. I got a message from a beautiful girl whose profile I had looked at a long time ago and decided not to even try because she was out of my league. I couldn't believe it a few days ago when I saw her in my inbox. We are going to meet up on Friday. I'm talking to at least 5 other girls on top of that. It's feels good to know that you are NOT damaged goods and that other people still see something in you. But again, do NOT rush this. I see girls on there who say "I just got out of a 5 year relationship", I make sure to breeze right past those rebound-hunters. People will smell the desperation if you do stuff like that. Online dating seemed pretty unappealing to me before, but I also realized it was time to stop dating from the same circle of friends that I've had for ten years. And it's really not that bad. Once you accept that everyone on the site is there for the same reason and there's nothing to be embarrassed about, it's a lot of fun. I suggest it when you are READY.
Lamak Posted November 11, 2009 Posted November 11, 2009 Online dating doesn't seem sort of lame, but it also seems to have become more popular over the last few years. My only advice to you is to make sure that these girls are emotionally stable period. They may not be fresh out of a relationship, but they may still be carrying major baggage.
hopesndreams Posted November 11, 2009 Posted November 11, 2009 Yeah, I've done it and went out with a few guys, nothing came of it except for some laughter and yeah, it does feel good to get yourself out there, when you are ready. It's tapered off for me now. I haven't checked my inbox at all the last 10 days or so or bothered to check out anyone's profile. Kinda bored with it actually. Maybe I just like being on my own for the time being. You're doing great Exit.
USMCHokie Posted November 11, 2009 Posted November 11, 2009 Yeah, I've done it and went out with a few guys, nothing came of it except for some laughter and yeah, it does feel good to get yourself out there, when you are ready. It's tapered off for me now. I haven't checked my inbox at all the last 10 days or so or bothered to check out anyone's profile. Kinda bored with it actually. Maybe I just like being on my own for the time being. You're doing great Exit. You're right, it does get boring after a while...after I broke up with the ex, I felt like I had to rush back into the game...but of course I wasn't ready, and now, I don't even feel like playing...it gets old after a while...and I'm realizing that being on my own is pretty awesome in itself...
JL911 Posted November 11, 2009 Posted November 11, 2009 EXIT WHOOOOOO!!!!! GO GET EM!! There is no such thing as someone who is out of your league...If their head is that big and they are that shallow, you are out of theirs....
McGrupp Posted November 11, 2009 Posted November 11, 2009 its funny you say to wait. the first day my ex called it quits i signed up for these sights out of spight and anger. anyway this poor cute girl messages me that day. poor, poor girl. i was def not ready for anything and all i did all day was ignre her texts and messages and try to get into her pants b4 eventually crying on the phone b4 we eve met. ha. its funny now. but at the tim it was more insult to injury
HeavenOrHell Posted November 11, 2009 Posted November 11, 2009 Good for you! I signed up with some, just to see who's out there I wouldn't be ready for a long time yet, if ever, may decide I prefer to be single, might not be lucky enough to find anyone I want to be with anyway. BUT it has made me feel worse as no-on has shown much interest, I guess being in my 40's doesn't help for a start and being unconventional. So it just makes me feel no-one else wants me. Good luck, hope things work out for you
mickleb Posted November 11, 2009 Posted November 11, 2009 Glad to hear you have your mojo back! (Use it wisely, Luke). Aah. The online dating.. I managed to buck the e-Harmony system last week (kind-of by mistake) and was startled by the numbers of male honeys that began sniffing around! Pwweaargh. I'll get round to them when I've got the time! The funniest shall get 'first dibs'. None of them know of my secret plan to not go further than first base until at least February, though. I suppose I'll mention that if the subject crops up.. See who's got staying power. I *might* even do a Catherine Zeta on them and make them wait 8 months for the first kiss! World's yer oyster, chirren. Just remember that. x
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