Complicated situation, need your input; when you have to see someone you angered

[Methamorphisis79]

years ago i met a girl who i really liked a lot. i know she liked me too at first and would've gone out if i asked but nothing happened because i was pretty immature & insecure and made a mess of things the whole time i knew her. it was on and off when i'd see her because we were in college but i said a lot of terrible things to her that made her upset...stuff like i wouldn't talk to her anymore because she had gotten a boyfriend and so much more i regret that gave her a bad impression of me. i must of told her countless times i'd leave her alone because of the things i did/said, all she had to do was say something, but she'd always ask me what my problem was when i'd say that and lecture me for being negative and to be more positive. while things weren't the same like they were at the very beginning, she surprisingly always talked to me despite all that happened, (i'm sure most other girls wouldn't have) and told me to keep in touch the last time i saw her but i just blew her off because i had already decided previously to just ignore her since i hadn't seen her for months up until the last time i saw her.

 

i was an ******* & i regret it of course because not only am i sure i hurt her many times with the things i said, when there actually wasn't conflict because of me we generally got along very well, laughed-joked a lot etc like we could've been pretty close if i didn't do what i did... i pissed away a potential girlfriend or at the very least good friend...insecurities just got in the way. the dilemma is...i'm now in a position where i have to see her. she doesn't know it yet but i will eventually have to run into her and i'm pretty ashamed of facing her after all these years and i'm sure the last thing she wants to do is see me/talk to me now after everything that happened. if i had a time machine i'd go back in time and fix it but obviously that's something that can't be done.

Edited November 10, 2009 by Methamorphisis79

[TaraMaiden]

You know what?

You admitted it to us, admit it to her.

 

"Man, I cannot believe what an immature jerk I was! I should have had 'stoopid' tattooed across my forehead - what an @$$hole I was! I needed to grow up, so really, it was just as well we never got to hang out! What anybody would have seen in me then, I really don't know! I have no idea what you saw in me, but it must have been pretty deep, because I can't see it even now!"

 

or something like that.......

[Methamorphisis79]

of course i would apologize but the thing is she must've heard sorry at least 1 million times from me...all she heard was sorry...as i went and ****ed everything up over and over again haha. a lot of times the things i said i didn't even mean it was just heat of the moment & i was angry because i didn't have my way so i acted childish and by then it was too late and the damage was done. yes she and many others were absolutely right my behavior at this stage and how i had to change it...i'd always laugh at them, tell them off, blame someone else but deep down they were right and i regret because...i hurt and drove away a lot of people. now truthfully i've always felt really terrible about it but even though it's been many years i don't think it'll go over to well. i'm sure the last thing she wants to do is or talk to me again, i wouldn't blame her.