LikkleMissUpset Posted December 10, 2003 Posted December 10, 2003 Hello there. Its been ages since I last posted a message but basicly I was in a very damaging abusive relationship, he used to swear at me constantly, hit me twice was disrespectful towards my family and me so I left him. It was sad for me as we were together for 5 years and bought a house together my dreams were coming true. Well I decided I didn’t want him anymore and got the courage to leave. For a year he threatened me, tried to get me back etc etc and I was really frightened to the point where police where involved. He shook me up from inside. Well yesterday as I was drivig to the gym after work, I’ve changed my gym, changed got a new job, new car (I tinted the windows so he would not recognise its me), and whole new lifestyle and soon new year. Well I was waiting at some traffic lights and rght next to me facing the other side was him in a car passenger as he lost his driving licence due to drinking and driving and his new GF next to him driving. This did upset me. I was pissed off that it upset me so much as I had decided that I didn’t want him but at the same time I did really love him but he could only treat me right 50% of the time the rest was abusive and damaging. I lost my confidence and self-respect which I have now slowly got back. I need some support, as it feels like he has won as I’m not the one in a loving relationship but I suppose that is my perception. I do know that whilst he was trying to get me back he was seeing this same girl and I myself have seen him kissing and getting off with other girls in between him trying to get me back and him seeing this girl. So he has been messing around even before their relationship has started. All round I’m best out of it. But guys please give me some other opinions.
LikkleMissUpset Posted December 10, 2003 Posted December 10, 2003 HELP!!! X got new GF Post: 1 | Quote: Hello there. Its been ages since I last posted a message but basicly I was in a very damaging abusive relationship, he used to swear at me constantly, hit me twice was disrespectful towards my family and me so I left him. It was sad for me as we were together for 5 years and bought a house together my dreams were coming true. Well I decided I didn’t want him anymore and got the courage to leave. For a year he threatened me, tried to get me back etc etc and I was really frightened to the point where police where involved. He shook me up from inside. Well yesterday as I was drivig to the gym after work, I’ve changed my gym, changed got a new job, new car (I tinted the windows so he would not recognise its me), and whole new lifestyle and soon new year. Well I was waiting at some traffic lights and rght next to me facing the other side was him in a car passenger as he lost his driving licence due to drinking and driving and his new GF next to him driving. This did upset me. I was pissed off that it upset me so much as I had decided that I didn’t want him but at the same time I did really love him but he could only treat me right 50% of the time the rest was abusive and damaging. I lost my confidence and self-respect which I have now slowly got back. I need some support, as it feels like he has won as I’m not the one in a loving relationship but I suppose that is my perception. I do know that whilst he was trying to get me back he was seeing this same girl and I myself have seen him kissing and getting off with other girls in between him trying to get me back and him seeing this girl. So he has been messing around even before their relationship has started. All round I’m best out of it. But guys please give me some other opinions.
Arabess Posted December 10, 2003 Posted December 10, 2003 Originally posted by LikkleMissUpset All round I’m best out of it. But guys please give me some other opinions. I think the best opinion will be your own statement. You may be dealing with a little bit of jealousy, but keep in mind she now has the jerk AND all the problems which come with him. You may not be in a relationship, but you are healing and growing while she is stuck in his dysfuntional world. YOU are the lucky one!!! Keep your head up and keep moving forward. Don't repeat the mistakes from the past.
EnigmaXOXO Posted December 10, 2003 Posted December 10, 2003 Perhaps seeing him with another woman triggered old, jealous memories of when you witnessed him carrying on with other women in the past. When you are in an abusive, dysfunctional relationship...where you are programed to equate unhealthy emotions with "love"... its a difficult mindset to break free of. I don't think your ex will ever be capable of a "loving relationship," so I wouldn't worry that he has acquired anything that you haven't. There was no particular reason why he treated you the way he did, and the odds are this new girl won't be treated any better. You are the winner. At least you are driving around in your own car and are independent and self-sufficient. Meanwhile, your ex is still dependent on others to get his basic needs met, as he seems incapable of taking good care of himself...let alone another human being.
NEONINK Posted December 10, 2003 Posted December 10, 2003 If you were treated ROTTEN AND MEAN... chances are it's her turn. That's nothing to envy. Living well is the best revenge. Get off your butt and go live well Darlin'!
princess75 Posted December 12, 2003 Posted December 12, 2003 Be happy that is my main advice. Do not let others rule your happiness....and less someone who did not deserve you. Ask yourself why you loved him, and make a list of these things. Then ask yourself, why did he love you. Compare the list. Were you guys in love? Try to work out the fact that you entered and abusive relationship. Seek outside help if necessary. And next time be in love with someone who will love you well. And remember better alone thna in bad company.
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