aerogurl87 Posted December 28, 2009 Posted December 28, 2009 (S)he that is dishonest in what is least, is dishonest in what is much. Take it or leave it, but it's a code I tend to stick by as it's been true 99% of the time.
Zeegagge Posted December 28, 2009 Posted December 28, 2009 Besides all of this, she lied first. She put herself into the mess. As I was reading but before I got to that part I was thinking the whole time 'just bang her and be done with it, please' Not that Im into disrespecting women but she had it coming.
meerkat stew Posted December 28, 2009 Posted December 28, 2009 It's a sad point we have gotten to when expecting someone not to lie is somehow akin to expecting "perfection." BTW that smirk she made when finally admitting the lie, the reason it was so disgusting to you is that it bared her soul. She doesn't really care, she is just involved in an endless game of manipulating things her way via lies and rationalizations. The smirk was actually blaming -you- for being a "goober" who doesn't -get it-, who isn't cool with the BS games that the lower 70-80% of lost humans play with each other. Have seen that smirk so many times, never from a human being of any substance or quality. Good for you for actualy catching the lie, 90% of such go totally under the radar. Scary.
Ruby Slippers Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 It's a sad point we have gotten to when expecting someone not to lie is somehow akin to expecting "perfection." I know! I'm shocked that Krytie TV says those of us who expect honesty are expecting perfection! Lies in relationships are, to me, like bugs in my dinner. I'm not going to push the bugs out of the way and eat the food! That meal is ruined, dude.
Stung Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 Every guy I have ever known tries to get laid by the person they're dating. I am no exception. And yes, I've even had sex with people I wasn't in love with Shocking huh? I don't see anything dishonest about that. I certainly wasn't hiding the fact that I wanted to have sex with her. I let her know all the time. You can't get anymore honest than that This is totally disingenuous. Please don't confuse the issue with your false arguments. Presumably you are aware that the vast women want the men they have sex with to at least like and respect them. Leaving love entirely out of the equation, few women would choose to f*ck men who didn't trust them, felt 'repulsed' by them (another word I believe you used), and thought they were liars only good to be used for sex. At least in a later post you have the grace to admit that yes, you did use her for sex. And then you say she deserved it and call HER a skank. Klassy.
2sunny Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 I don't understand what's so wrong with that. Ya, I dated her and made sexual advances toward her just like every other girl I've ever dated in my life. So what? It's not like I told her I loved her or something in an attempt to get into her pants. In fact I specifically mentioned that she asked to be exclusive and I told her no. I wasn't leading her on with lies and deception. I made it quite clear to her that I wanted to have sex with her. Did I use her for sex? Ya probably a little, especially at the end. Serves her right for being a lying skank. it's possible she used you for sex, no? gals do this too! did you use protection?
meerkat stew Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 This is totally disingenuous. Please don't confuse the issue with your false arguments. Presumably you are aware that the vast women want the men they have sex with to at least like and respect them. Leaving love entirely out of the equation, few women would choose to f*ck men who didn't trust them, felt 'repulsed' by them (another word I believe you used), and thought they were liars only good to be used for sex. At least in a later post you have the grace to admit that yes, you did use her for sex. And then you say she deserved it and call HER a skank. Klassy. If people who lie were screwed over more due to their actions, were made to feel accountable, perhaps they would learn to become more Classy. Don't try to hoist OP up on some petard, because had the woman not LIED, he might have felt differently about her. Is using someone for sex particularly mature? No, neither though, is it the equivalent of genocide you seem to want to make it. It's actually pervasive in our culture on both sides of the gender fence. Finally, maybe a majority of women want to have sex with someone who likes them, but there are also a significant portion who (just like men) want sex for it's own sake regardless of how their sex partner feels about them. There is also another very significant portion who want a man to dominate moreso than "like" them as a sexual partner, so the distinction is not so clear cut as you make it out to be.
Stung Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 I never said nor did I ever believe that the woman was in the right. Nor am I in the camp that his behavior was vindicated, as you seem to be, MS. Telling someone you caught them in a lie and you think less of them for it, and then walking away from the budding relationship would have been a more mature way to handle it which would have accomplished the lesson-teaching just fine. Stringing her along, using her for sex, dumping her and then vilifying her all while seeing his own shady behavior through rose-colored lenses is JUST as poor behavior as she initially exhibited, if not more so. And my personal guess would be that she didn't learn any valuable moral lesson about honesty through this mishandled misadventure. Perhaps there is still some opportunity for the OP to learn a lesson, however. I have never confused sex with love and romance. I am well aware that women enjoy sex physically and don't need to be in love or married to get their rocks off . And sure, many women enjoy domination fantasies, but that's neither here nor there really as we have had zero indication that that is in any way a factor in this thread. The fact remains that the vast majority of women who enjoy sex with the man they are dating are under the impression that he likes and respects them to some degree, and prefer it that way. She wasn't seeking anonymous sex, she wasn't trying to play the field, she was trying to build an exclusive relationship with this guy, he said so himself.
BUENG1 Posted December 30, 2009 Posted December 30, 2009 I never said nor did I ever believe that the woman was in the right. Nor am I in the camp that his behavior was vindicated, as you seem to be, MS. Telling someone you caught them in a lie and you think less of them for it, and then walking away from the budding relationship would have been a more mature way to handle it which would have accomplished the lesson-teaching just fine. Stringing her along, using her for sex, dumping her and then vilifying her all while seeing his own shady behavior through rose-colored lenses is JUST as poor behavior as she initially exhibited, if not more so. And my personal guess would be that she didn't learn any valuable moral lesson about honesty through this mishandled misadventure. Perhaps there is still some opportunity for the OP to learn a lesson, however. I have never confused sex with love and romance. I am well aware that women enjoy sex physically and don't need to be in love or married to get their rocks off . And sure, many women enjoy domination fantasies, but that's neither here nor there really as we have had zero indication that that is in any way a factor in this thread. The fact remains that the vast majority of women who enjoy sex with the man they are dating are under the impression that he likes and respects them to some degree, and prefer it that way. She wasn't seeking anonymous sex, she wasn't trying to play the field, she was trying to build an exclusive relationship with this guy, he said so himself. Well she asked him for exclusivity and he said no, and then she slept with him. So there's not much claim for being misled.
Stung Posted December 30, 2009 Posted December 30, 2009 I forgot about this thread but I thought I'd give a little update to people who might be interested. I kept dating her for about a month or so afterward even thought I didn't trust her as far as I could throw her. I knew in the back of my mind it wasn't really going anywhere but I figured the least I could do is get laid. Anyway, the lie came up one night during a conversation. She denied it and denied it until she finally admitted it. Even then she wouldn't admit to the full truth that I knew. It was disgusting. And then she had this stupid little uncomfortable smile/smirk that was probably the ugliest thing I'd ever seen in my life. I've never been more turned off than I was at that moment. I couldn't wait for her to leave. After this she would call and want to hang out all the time. She even said she wanted to be "exclusive". Yeah right, like that was gonna happen. We continued dating for a couple more weeks until I realized that I didn't even like her. So basically her lie in the beginning came back to bite her in the ass and I never was able to trust her or even respect her. She became completely unattractive to me and she eventually got the hint after I stopped calling or responding to her. I'm actually getting repulsed a little right now typing this. I know what I want in a girl and honesty ranks right up among the top qualities. I should have listened to some of you in the first place and just stopped seeing her then. So that's my update. Moral of the story is be honest and you won't be treated like a ho. The end. That's possible, Bueng. But nowhere in the above post does he mention whether she actually asked for exclusivity and he said no; he says she said she wanted to be exclusive, he thought privately that he didn't trust or respect her, then he kept seeing her and having sex with her for a little while and then just stopped returning her phone calls. And BEFORE she ever got to the point where she asked for exclusivity, they dated and, (I think?) slept together even though he says he NEVER trusted her and NEVER thought it might go anywhere. He also admits that he used her for sex. I don't think her lie was justified or a good call. If she was really smirking upon being called out about it, I agree that's low. I don't find her a particularly sterling example of womanhood. But I am puzzled as to why so many seem to think HIS behavior is above reproach?
Mary3 Posted December 30, 2009 Posted December 30, 2009 I think that dating is just that : A chance to go out with someone and see what develops. That person could have other plans that night and since they barely know you , they are entitled to do what they please . The same as you. The Lying part is not good but think of it this way. If you go out with that person and ( maybe for the first time ) you desire to hang out later with your friends , or go out with a guy who calls you up, then because you are not committed to this person , you have perfect right to go where you please. The lying is lame. But since that person was not committed to a R with you , does this lie mean ALL future interactions will result in a lie ? * IF * we are talking about internet dating , then its a smorgasboard of possibilites for those who are into that. Meaning a guy can be talking and taking out ( dating ) 12 women at once. But dating is a search mission for the right one ( for most ) and for the others , its something else.. So you don't throw rocks at me . Lying is wrong. But with the OP the lie turned the girl ugly. What if she had not lied ? What if you were happy right now ? You based everything on that ( lie ). Has any girl ever lied to you before ?
meerkat stew Posted December 30, 2009 Posted December 30, 2009 But I am puzzled as to why so many seem to think HIS behavior is above reproach? No one said his behavior is above reproach.
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