floods88 Posted November 10, 2009 Posted November 10, 2009 in the last 2 weeks hes been sober twice and the rest of the time drinking like a proper alcoholic. his sister is calling me telling me how worried she is. why is he doing this? if this break up is what he wanted surely he would be handling it better than this? im worried about him whilst trying to remain NC at the same time.
GoneButNotForgotten Posted November 10, 2009 Posted November 10, 2009 As harsh as it sounds you really can't do anything about it. A lot of times guys don't have the "support group" of friends to lean on in times like this. Guys will be supportive of each other but don't really talk it out like girls in the support sense. It is an odd dynamic that I don't think I'm explaining very well. But, I believe it is just a phase and will eventually wear out. That or it is just a cry for attention. Either way there is nothing you can really do to help.
photobooth Posted November 10, 2009 Posted November 10, 2009 thats an odd reason to start drinking if he did the break up and not you I was cheated on by the love of my life so I went into a 2 week drinking every single day binge trying to escape the pain...so maybe he is trying to escape what is hurting him.... but eventually it just makes the pain worse
Devil Inside Posted November 10, 2009 Posted November 10, 2009 Sounds like he is using an addictive process as a defense mechanism. He drinks to avoid difficult emotions. Regardless of whether you did the breaking or not...it hurts to lose love. So instead of feeling these difficult emotions...he drinks to avoid. I know it must be hard to see him go through this...but he must do this without you now...that was his choice.
bafflednhurt Posted November 10, 2009 Posted November 10, 2009 that's exactly what happened in my situation floods. she broke up with me and was having an EA and she is the one that went on the drinking binge every night for nearly a month after our breakup. i don't understand either, but there was nothing i could do. i was worried about her, but kept thinking she's doing this to herself. she made the decision to get emotionally involved with someone else and break it off so i really stopped caring about what she was doing and just tried to start focusing on myself and my healing.
t0ri Posted November 10, 2009 Posted November 10, 2009 My ex went crazy with the alcohol for a few months after dumping me. I think it's their way of coping, or at least covering up emotions they don't feel like dealing with. They'll have to face the emotions of losing someone they once cared for, and possible doubts about their decision, eventually. Also, in my ex's case, his new found "freedom" gave him the urge to party every chance he got since he didn't do that while dating me.
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