littlebittle Posted November 10, 2009 Posted November 10, 2009 (edited) my ex-boyfriend broke up with me in september. it was hard on both of us. we had only dated for 3 months, and i became distant from him because of outside stress in my life. i ended up pushing him away, which made him scared. i really liked him, and i know he really liked me, but his feelings changed and it was just unfortunate timing. when we broke up, we both did a lot of crying and it was hard to let go. finally i had to tell him that we couldn't speak for awhile. we did nc for about a month. i had told him i would call him and check in on him after the month was up. i felt ok at that point. i missed talking to him, and i thought i was ready to be friends. the first few times we hung out, it was fun. he wanted to talk a little bit about our relationship, and he even got tearful. but i was determined to keep things light. i didn't want to fall back into the habit of us talking every day, but within 2 days of hanging out again, we were back to the same old business. it wasn't that i didn't want to talk to him, i just knew that my feelings were on shaky territory, and i just wasn't sure what i could handle. it's been a few weeks and now i know that i need to stop speaking to him. it's just too hard for me. he's a really nice guy, he's been so nice and supportive, and he's been just as emotional about everything as i have. he totally respects my boundaries, there's no funny business or weirdness. i've been sick this week, and he calls me every day and he even brought me soup. my birthday is next week and he's taking me to this art exhibit i wanted to see. i know he just really cares about me as a person, and he doesn't have romantic feelings for me anymore. i've called all of the shots since we broke up (deciding when to do nc, deciding when we should see each other again), and he's just gone along with all of my ups and downs. he's not a doormat, but i think he is doing what he can to keep me as a friend. i have to start nc again, and i know that HE broke up with ME, but i still feel bad. what's the nicest way i can do this, so that there aren't hurt feelings in the long run? Edited November 10, 2009 by littlebittle
adamt Posted November 10, 2009 Posted November 10, 2009 i've been on the otherside of the fence. You have to be cruel to be kind if you think it is over for you. Don't talk to him if you dont want to lead him on. My ex was having family problems with her mom getting ill and passing away, she pushed me away over a few months and got cloer to her family. I felt helpess because she didnt seem to want my support. I was devastated when we split up. we went NC for 5 months. i worked hard on myself. i bumped into her at the weekend, we chatted for 20 minutes about how you doing and what everyone is upto..etc i was ok, but the last 2 days she is back on my mind again and i am missing her again. She was probably just wanting to be friends to clear her concience. But it has messed me up a little. So please, do not give him false hope.short term pain for long term gain. Personally i think he sees you more than a friend. there is no nice way, you jsut have to be clear and to the point so he knows exactly the situation
Author littlebittle Posted November 10, 2009 Author Posted November 10, 2009 i've been on the otherside of the fence. You have to be cruel to be kind if you think it is over for you. Don't talk to him if you dont want to lead him on. My ex was having family problems with her mom getting ill and passing away, she pushed me away over a few months and got cloer to her family. I felt helpess because she didnt seem to want my support. I was devastated when we split up. we went NC for 5 months. i worked hard on myself. i bumped into her at the weekend, we chatted for 20 minutes about how you doing and what everyone is upto..etc i was ok, but the last 2 days she is back on my mind again and i am missing her again. She was probably just wanting to be friends to clear her concience. But it has messed me up a little. So please, do not give him false hope.short term pain for long term gain. Personally i think he sees you more than a friend. there is no nice way, you jsut have to be clear and to the point so he knows exactly the situation i don't know. i should have just stuck to nc to begin with (like, duh, me. lesson learned). i'm not over him, that's why this is so hard for me. i don't know if i want to be with him, but i still have romantic feelings for him. it kind of only makes it harder that he is being so nice about everything. he has told me he doesn't have romantic feelings for me, and i totally believe him. i honestly think he wants a friendship, and he wants to be supportive of me. but like i said, he has been so accommodating and he has tried so hard to make this work. we've been through a lot now, and i know he'll be hurt when i cut him off. i want us to be friends in the long run.
Recommended Posts