floods88 Posted November 9, 2009 Posted November 9, 2009 i can't stop wondering where he is and what hes doing... i know he had uni today and i know he hasnt logged into facebook at all... its driving me crazy and taking everything i have not to call him or text him to find out what hes up to. im really paranoid hes with another girl even though he told me it wasnt about somebody else. heeeeelllp
Ms. Joolie Posted November 9, 2009 Posted November 9, 2009 Well... I just saw a signature that I liked: "Stay strong and everything will be great." That's from Thebob, a poster here on LS, but I don't know where's he's at or if he'll read this in time during your desperate time of need. Also, a new favorite of mine: "Until you face things head-on and are totally honest, you will never achieve the closure you need." ............. I love that. So be the cause of what happens. You can do it. You broke up with this guy, now get honest with yourself on what needs to be done next. And do it.
Nedved Posted November 9, 2009 Posted November 9, 2009 The worst part for me at the start was wondering what shes doing, whos she with and your imagination will go into overdrive for a while. But remember only for a while. Try to resist the temptation to contact him as hard as it is as you'l do yourself no favours long term. Your better off getting this over with now and moving on with your life. In moments of weakness just ask yourself will contacting him to find out what hes doing make any difference to you? will it bring him back? It prob won't unfortunatley so just stay strong and what you don;t know can't hurt you. believe me i was in your situation 6 months ago and you'l come through.
Exit Posted November 9, 2009 Posted November 9, 2009 Yeah... the wondering right at the beginning is terrible. I admit it got so bad for me that I was actually driving past her house because it just made me feel so much better if her car was there and her light was on instead of thinking that she was out at some party. But I know I can't justify that type of behavior. STEP ONE: GET OFF OF FACEBOOK If you do not break this bad habit early, you'll be internet-stalking him for months. Stop checking. Do you want to look at his FB one day and find something really painful?
Nedved Posted November 9, 2009 Posted November 9, 2009 I'd totally agree with Exit regarding facebook. Looking at his facebook page is a total no no. Curiosity will kill the cat and YOU WILL eventually see something you just don't want and need to see. Sometimes it can be the slap in the face you need but ask yourself do you really need to put yourself through that if its not necessary? Delete him off facebook as each time you log you'l be running the risk of having your heart broke until such time you heal.
LuckyYou Posted November 10, 2009 Posted November 10, 2009 oh I know how that one feels. I haven't talked to my ex in weeks and I still find myself wondering what hes up to. My imagination goes into overdrive sometimes and I starting thinking "hes probably out at the bar getting drunk with his friends, hitting on women, he probably has a new girl now that's why he hasn't tried to contact me, he forgot about me already..blah blah blah...ect" but then I step back and think to myself...."ya right". He probably is sitting at home watching TV by himself. Because in all reality that is what hes doing. We often let our imaginations get the best of us after a breakup. We think the worst, especially when we haven't talked to them in awhile. Do we really want to know what they are up to? When I start thinking about it no, not really. He isn't a part of my life anymore... In fact he probably has his moments where hes wondering why I haven't called or texted either. He probably has moments where hes wondering what i'm doing and who i'm with! All you can do is take it one day at a time. Live your life for YOU! The longer you stay in NC the easier it will get. Believe me! It gets easier every day!
TalkTonight Posted November 10, 2009 Posted November 10, 2009 Im having the same problem!! I even deleted my f/b about 4 weeks ago but hacked someone's elses so i could check. Today i did and got such a reality check!! I dont want to be readin how my ex wants to have sex with her ugly b/f!! If it was that great she wudnt be coming back to me all the time but let me tell you after reading those comments no way am i ever going back on that site!! I hate it!! And wish that site would die!! Be strong and delete your profile!! Even my friend said if you want to talk to people they are in your mobile phone and if they aint then you dont want to speak to them!! Words from a guy who also had trouble with that s**t site!! If your meant to be with that person they will never pass you by!!
Author floods88 Posted November 10, 2009 Author Posted November 10, 2009 thanks for all the messages guys. im just finding it so unbelievably hard at the moment. i feel like im constantly sinking in my stomach. im still maintaining the NC, its just the hardest thing ive ever had to do.
Thebob Posted November 10, 2009 Posted November 10, 2009 Need some more info, but if he broke up with you then it wasn't meant to be. Start no contact immediately and get a move on. These paranoia stages last for a good 1-3 weeks but they will go away if you can pre-occupy yourself with something. Go out buy clothes, go hang out with friends, do whatever it takes to move on! You got this, we all had to go through this stage. Thebob
Author floods88 Posted November 10, 2009 Author Posted November 10, 2009 i think im getting stronger. im on my 2nd day of NC, and pathetic as it sounds, im quite proud of myself. i'm the one that broke it off in a moment of complete stupidity and now he doesnt want me back. since then hes told me its over and to move on even though he still loves me and misses me. i think he feels as though he can live his life better without me and that he needs to make some major changes. personally i dont think 2 weeks is enough time to make that kind of decision, but if thats how he feels, theres nothing i can do, which is why NC is the best way to go either way.
cdt76 Posted November 10, 2009 Posted November 10, 2009 What if the girl who broke up with me and broke my heart checks my blogs? I use them to vent and express things going on in my head and heart and life. I know she checks them. Should I not write anything about our relationship? I could set it to private but sometimes I get some feed back from others that is nice. Any thoughts?
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