boredwithhusband Posted November 9, 2009 Posted November 9, 2009 I have been with my husband for 3 years, we have 2 sons (oldest is from previous relationship) one is 6 and the other is 2. We have been through alot in the 3 years. I got pregnant just a few months of us being together, we moved in together, bought a house, got married and now 3 years later I just wish I had something to fall back on to get out. I love my kids to death and I love him as well but he annoys me alot. I sometimes love him and we have a great relationship and then i get in this weird funk for a couple of days or a week and all i do is go out of my way to argue with him and or put him down. I sometimes wonder if it wasnt for my 2nd son if we would even be together. He is a great father and at times a great husband but I am not sure we can make in the long haul. There are times that I think we can but most of the time, i feel like i stay for the sake of my kids and he makes me happy at least half of the time. I think one of my major fears is because my oldest son does not know his dad, he has choosen to not be a part of his life and dont want that for my other child. I feel like i am stuck between a rock and a hard spot becasue i love him i love my kids, but i dont love my life and need to find some sort of happy medium so that i do not go out of my way to make myself miserable and then in turn he is mad and my kids can sense something is wrong.
hopeful1980 Posted November 9, 2009 Posted November 9, 2009 Well your first problem is looking to your husband to make you happy. Happiness is a choice. You decide to be happy regardless of what your husband is doing or what your situation is. If you don't make the decision to be happy now, you certainly won't be happier if you leave your husband. You'll still feel the same way. What is he doing that makes him a bad husband in your eyes? Is it something he can change? Has he always done it and you are now just getting annoyed by it? If it's something new that he can change, tell him. He'll probably be willing because he loves you. But if it's something he's always done and it's just now starting to annoy you, accept it. Focus on the good things about him instead.
mem11363 Posted November 10, 2009 Posted November 10, 2009 doing stuff that annoys you or are you just not attracted to him and you are with him because he supports you financially? I have been with my husband for 3 years, we have 2 sons (oldest is from previous relationship) one is 6 and the other is 2. We have been through alot in the 3 years. I got pregnant just a few months of us being together, we moved in together, bought a house, got married and now 3 years later I just wish I had something to fall back on to get out. I love my kids to death and I love him as well but he annoys me alot. I sometimes love him and we have a great relationship and then i get in this weird funk for a couple of days or a week and all i do is go out of my way to argue with him and or put him down. I sometimes wonder if it wasnt for my 2nd son if we would even be together. He is a great father and at times a great husband but I am not sure we can make in the long haul. There are times that I think we can but most of the time, i feel like i stay for the sake of my kids and he makes me happy at least half of the time. I think one of my major fears is because my oldest son does not know his dad, he has choosen to not be a part of his life and dont want that for my other child. I feel like i am stuck between a rock and a hard spot becasue i love him i love my kids, but i dont love my life and need to find some sort of happy medium so that i do not go out of my way to make myself miserable and then in turn he is mad and my kids can sense something is wrong.
Joie de Vivre Posted November 11, 2009 Posted November 11, 2009 Well your first problem is looking to your husband to make you happy. Happiness is a choice. You decide to be happy regardless of what your husband is doing or what your situation is. If you don't make the decision to be happy now, you certainly won't be happier if you leave your husband. You'll still feel the same way. What is he doing that makes him a bad husband in your eyes? Is it something he can change? Has he always done it and you are now just getting annoyed by it? If it's something new that he can change, tell him. He'll probably be willing because he loves you. But if it's something he's always done and it's just now starting to annoy you, accept it. Focus on the good things about him instead. Totally agree!
pappabear Posted November 12, 2009 Posted November 12, 2009 (edited) I want to encourage you to try. There are resources out there that can help. This very powerful seminar saved my marriage. I never thought the feelings would/could come back. I really thought I would just have to tough it out and "do what's right." I was prepared to try to do that. Now I want to and I'd have to say that my marriage is very passionate and fun. So I do hope you try for your sake, the kids and him. Edited November 12, 2009 by pappabear Needed an advanced feature.
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