McGrupp Posted November 9, 2009 Posted November 9, 2009 whoa, the pitty party is back in town... so after i read this article posted on here by another ls'r http://www.mental-health-matters.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=171 i realized i was "the loser" i pretty much did a lot of step 4 and 5 when she said she needed space and began to get distant. never hit her or got violent and then I nailed step 8. pretty much did all that stuff besides the wedding ring, the flowers, and getting her family involved. (cried, pleaded , asked for 1 more month, "threatened" to move) whats really strange is that i did that stuff all on my own. I really am a loser. had what shouldve been a fun weekend with friends, but im so moppy and down. met 2 nice girls this weekend (my game is great b/c i dont care at all) hung out with one last night and she wanted to know where i could get some "opiates" and is now texting me all day (stage 5 clinger) went from my sober career girl to this... life!!!
Author McGrupp Posted November 9, 2009 Author Posted November 9, 2009 also im realizing to become this loser I had become a loser. okay what does that mean? well as ive mentioned b4 i always thought she was out of my league. i got possesive. now i wasnt always like this, but became this as my life became more dull and hers more interesting. so...i turned myself into the "loser", by becoming a loser. makes sense and although the article hurts a ton and nails me, i can use for my next relationship. oh and i forgot the clinger also told me she has had more threesomes with 2 dudes, then with her and a girl and a guy. sounds like a keeper!!
Ultiman Posted November 9, 2009 Posted November 9, 2009 Hey man at least your going out with girls. I havent chilled with a person of the opposite sex other than my mom and my best friends girl. Your putting yourself down and if you continue to do so your never gonna get out of the downer. I know youve heard this before countless times but the way you think and perceive things is gonna determine how you feel days later. Changing your mind set will not have an immediate effect and your emotional state but will fix it for the long run.
lostmirthfulness Posted November 9, 2009 Posted November 9, 2009 MG - dude she doesn't sound like a winner at all. In fact it sounds like your better off without her. In regards to the article that was posted, I found a few things that I started to get into as well. I never did those things in the relationship though, until the relationship had ended. Just something to consider, I think heartbreak brings the loser out in all of us. I mean its not in the article but think about it, we morn people we are better off without.
Odyssey Posted November 9, 2009 Posted November 9, 2009 Hey pitty-party , what's going down man? Look, it's good you realise you've made mistakes in your relationship, (she made plenty of mistakes too not just you). But i don't believe in once a loser, always a loser though because i doubt you will make those same mistakes again. Now you know, the important thing is to learn. Learn dammit learn! Loser today. Winner tomorrow.
Author McGrupp Posted November 9, 2009 Author Posted November 9, 2009 (edited) yeah she is not a winner at all. but she is smoking hot, and right now i need my confidence (and some sex would be nice, i think thats why we are addicted because to cut off 3.5 years of sex sucks). also asked the other one out for friday night and she said ok. probably just a false sense of confidence though but it would be nice to have a girl through the winter, and it will keep me from dwelling at the pity party too much. i wish someone sent me that article in august Edited November 9, 2009 by McGrupp
onewillburn Posted November 9, 2009 Posted November 9, 2009 You just need some more self respect. Then you wouldn't be doing any of the things on that list in the first place. That article includes a lot of bad behaviors that I'm sure are common in plenty of relationships (aside from the abusive parts), so just because you've done a few things on there, you shouldn't blame the break up entirely on yourself. It's good that you're trying to re-evaluate your situation and better yourself, but don't go away thinking that it's all your fault. Skimming through that list, my ex did nearly all of that aside from cutting me off from my friends. The "It's always your fault" one really hit home with me and almost brought chills down my spine as to how accurate it was. The article comes off as incredibly biased, though. Obviously the author must have gone through a really awful relationship or been close with someone who had.
JL911 Posted November 9, 2009 Posted November 9, 2009 Maybe the experience allowed you to learn something and grow....Maybe that was the purpose of the relationship.... Theres no such thing as a person who is out of your league...Girls are girls, guys are guys. If you are a good person with the right mindset what more could someone ask for? You need to work on your attitude man...Possessive...Maybe you just need to see that in even being possessive you have no control over anyone and they will do what they want and if your actions make them mad well you kinda see where you end up...You will never be able to force someone to do anything that they do not want to do. Looks are not everything and if thats what someone is looking for thats fine...let them get **** all over by Johnny DickBag who will never care about anyone but himself and has the personality of a brick wall.... Label yourself a loser...hmmm not good...Find your self worth my friend...
mickleb Posted November 9, 2009 Posted November 9, 2009 Am.. Was.. What about tomorrow? I once begged on my hands and knees in the pouring rain for a guy, whilst he walked away, screaming 'you'll never get better than me!!!!' He started dating this lovely girl in at our college and, when I bumped into him, ten years later, was she was still (very happily) by his side! Ah, those salad days! Now I'm older and far more llikeable. (Only fairly recently realised just how damned hot I am, too! Took many years of work on my self-esteem to see it.) You'll get there, too but not this way. x
Author McGrupp Posted November 9, 2009 Author Posted November 9, 2009 im not trying to bring myself down. but i did do those things. i can learn from them obviously. and it wasnt that she was pretty that made me feel good...i think it was knowing someone cared that much about me. anyway...live and learn. that article just shocked my brain...
mickleb Posted November 9, 2009 Posted November 9, 2009 You'll have heard stuff like this a lot but if you don't care about you 'that much', what anyone else feels for you is useless. You won't (really) accept love from anyone until you accept you are loveable. We think you are, why don't you? x Got to sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep now. See you tomoz. x
alphamale Posted November 9, 2009 Posted November 9, 2009 hung out with one last night and she wanted to know where i could get some "opiates" and is now texting me all day (stage 5 clinger) went from my sober career girl to this... life!!! aren't you mcgruff the crime dog? take a bite out of crime and all that jazz
tryagaintoday Posted November 10, 2009 Posted November 10, 2009 wow, I'm only a little of 4. Killing Your Self-Confidence guess I'm a great catch afterall. Just need to work on no. 4 and I'll be the best
Author McGrupp Posted November 10, 2009 Author Posted November 10, 2009 actually im more step 5 out of fear and confusion and not really step 4 at all. def big time step 8 though
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