brock9911 Posted November 9, 2009 Posted November 9, 2009 i was hoping for bigger things in life. i was expecting myself to be settled down, maybe a kid, my own place or better yet a house. it seems like iv digressed in life, and i just cant shake this rut. i made the mistake of seeing my ex thinking it would snap me out of things and make me realize what im doing to myself...not so. and its not neccessarily her i miss as much as the relationship...i think. who knows. my mind has been a mess and this is the worst depression i have ever been through. i mean everything in my life sucks to me. i loved to have fun and joke around, and it seems to be a chore or burden to do so now. not that i didnt need it, but in the past month iv lost 21lb and not due to excersise but from no appetite. i get a girl that comes around and i get my hopes up. we build a relationship, she shows interest. shes all over me...than they pull a 180 and want nothing to do with a relationship. i dunno my life is a downward spiral right now...i just want things to turn around
mickleb Posted November 9, 2009 Posted November 9, 2009 Hey brock Sorry you're still having such a hard time. Have you tried doing the book, yet? On the plus side, missing the relationship and not her (so much) is, IMO, a major step forward. You are definitely getting there, I think. Try not to expect anyone else to be able to take any of the pain away, though. I'm not saying it can be done in a heartbeat but you DO have the power to deal with it. No-one else does. Stay strong. x
Nedved Posted November 9, 2009 Posted November 9, 2009 Sorry to hear that Brook. Its been a rollercoaster few months for you but hang in there. It'l happen for you but you just gotta weather the storm now and get through this. I'm the same. 6months broke up with my ex now and although some days i miss her i don't love her anymore and the hurt is more or less gone. I know i'l never contact her again and it dose'nt bother me anymore.Its just the emptyness and thinking of 'whats next?' and 'where do i go from here?' that gets me down some days. I'd like to meet somebody but i supose we can't rush it. The holidays are what i'm dreading mind. I'm sure memories will come back. However i'm going to vegas next week so onwards and upwards:)
AliveAndKicking Posted November 10, 2009 Posted November 10, 2009 Hey there! I'm not sure how long it has been for you but I assume it's been a fair amount of time. You stated that you are depressed and it sure sounds like it! The fact that you've lost a significant bit of weight is a concern. Have you considered speaking to a professional about your situation and how you are feeling? While depression is normal after a breakup it certainly should ease-up in a reasonable amount of time. Please don't hesitate in speaking to a therapist. There is nothing to be ashamed of. Sometimes we just need a little help as we can't always do everything on our own. I hope you feel better right away.
Author brock9911 Posted November 10, 2009 Author Posted November 10, 2009 Yeah i think the whole beginning stages of being single was fun and i went out and did my thing. met new people and so on so forth. now its getting to that time of year... iv collected my share of #'s and prospects, but it just seems nothing really works. and the one time i actually did start to like someone...she turned out to be a f*cking psycho...i dont know what it is about me...am i crazy or is it everyone else. i have gotten help and im back on my medication. but iv really slipped and let myself go. i go out and party, drink way to much, done drugs i shouldnt have. dont take life seriously lately. my mother and coworkers are all saying how worried they are about me because of my lack of effort or even giving a sh*t....about anything. it sucks. its like i will meet someone and straighten myself out for a bit, but i reallize i dont like them, or they dont like me and right back to square one, and right back to what i know best...drowning my sorrows. and everyone says AA this and that...but i wont. not for pride, or anything like that...i just wont
GrayClouds Posted November 10, 2009 Posted November 10, 2009 and everyone says AA this and that...but i wont. not for pride, or anything like that...i just wont Then why...?
Author brock9911 Posted November 10, 2009 Author Posted November 10, 2009 right now its my only social outlet...i dont have a single friend who doesnt go to a bar and drink...my lifes been scrambled enough, i dont feel like making a ton more changes....and honestly when drunk or high or whateva...its the only time im free of my thoughts
GrayClouds Posted November 10, 2009 Posted November 10, 2009 right now its my only social outlet...i dont have a single friend who doesnt go to a bar and drink... So you want to be down and unhappy with your life becouse it is good for your social life, that's a pretty big trade off. i dunno my life is a downward spiral right now...i just want things to turn around my lifes been scrambled enough, i dont feel like making a ton more changes.... So you think that your life will get better if you don't make any changes? Maybe going to AA will help unscramble things. Maybe making a alot of change will change your life. If your afraid of losing friends let them go They don't seem to be all that healthy of friends if they let you suffer like this. Are you afraid of trying a failing, fact is your not doing so well now and your not trying. Afraid of your thoughts? and honestly when drunk or high or whateva...its the only time im free of my thoughts Maybe that is where the answer is for you. Facing those thoughts to find out what your avoiding so hard that you stay in this god forsaking place. Man, all the work you put in fighting this "pain" proves you one tuff motha trucker, there is nothing between you and a happy, better place that you will not be able to handle; less of a social life, being single, feeling out of place. You know "pain and suffering", its your a security blanket every drink and drug, ****ty friend, game playing girls, knits that blanket to be a little bigger and a little warmer making it harder to let it go. It is doing you no good, slowing you down from the things you want in life but your finding it hard to put it down. Put it down, it takes courage and you have a ton.
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