nolbertos Posted November 9, 2009 Posted November 9, 2009 I don't usually post my love life online, except to some people I met on another site personally, regarding my break-up. I guess I'll start from the beginning, regarding my 1 year breakup from my ex-gf. It all started last year, around September, after I visited her. We were maintaining a long distance relationship for 3 years before that, but I wasn't able to move to be with her, due no jobs related to my field of study in her city of residence. I thought everything was fine, like usual, as we were talking about her coming up to visit me the month after. And just like cold water one day, after I call her up, she tells me that "She feels that that the relationship isn't working anymore and she wants to take a break". I've broken up once before in the past and I had a mutual understanding with that ex-gf and we've maintained a friendship, albeit not close one anymore. I guess I did everything that a guy would do to save the relationship, like ask for forgiveness, another chance, I'll change, etc cuz honestly, I thought she was the one that I was going to marry and settle down with. We always talked about kids and our life together. After she told me that it wasn't working speech, I told her that we'll talk about it and discuss if we could patch it up. However, on the day, I was coming down to visit her, I found out through a random myspace questionnaire that she loves to fill out, that she went out with a guy awhile back and even posted his name and said, what would you tell your current bf, and she wrote " I kissed this other guy and loved it" and I flipped, cuz honestly I felt like she cheated on me, cuz I didn't know she already had her mind set, after I told her we were going to discuss our relationship. I've never cheated on a girl and my heart was torn into pieces. Fast forward to December 2008, after 3 month's of time out between us and her "promising" that she will remain chaste and trying to get back and saying I'll change speech. I decided to cut my losses as we were heading nowhere and took the initiative to move on forever and cut her from my life, cuz honestly, there was no point in her wanting to give us a chance. Regarding the relationship, I'll admit that I was at fault for not paying more attention to her in some ways, but I believe that I compensated by always being there for her financially and took her out to fancy restaurants, places and bought her things that she wanted. I did everything to please her and more and even helped her land her current job, as she was too lazy and pick to apply anywhere. All I wanted from her was only her love and a future family At the start of the new year, I picked up my stuff from her place, that she wanted out of there ASAP, cuz her new "bf" told her that I shouldn't have anything there. I was mad that she was letting him dictate her, but whatever. After I picked up my belongings, I deleted her from my friend's list on myspace, facebook and any other website we both shared as friends. I don't know how she took it, as I was deeply hurt and decided there was no point in getting back. Fast forward to today and over the last year, she's constantly lurking my myspace, facebook profiles. I'm guilty as well, but don't look at it like her. Note that I attempted reconcilliation via e-mail last July and got not response from her, since than. I guess I want to know or see what opinions I can gather from here, if I should even bother that someday we'll ever get back together or cut my losses and keep moving on. I asked another female friend some advice too and she told me that she's probably still angry at the breakup and refuses to talk to me or send me e-mails. I'm at a crossroads in my love life at the moment. I still yearn for her and hope that we can reconcile, but at the same time, I'm ready to keep moving on forever, cuz honestly, I've never made an enemy of somebody I truly loved and feel at this point in time, to just permanently delete everything we shared together online and block her from looking at my myspace and facebook profiles, as I "believe" and maybe I'm wrong in that the only way to truly forget somebody you love, is pretend that they never existed. Sorry for ranting, but I've always wanted to get this off my chest and more. Hope to hear some advice..chao
Space Ritual Posted November 9, 2009 Posted November 9, 2009 You are doing JUST FINE! Keep the No contact up. look at it this way.... Would you really want to be with someone who treated you like that? Just do yourself a favor and keep it up. It probably isn't working out between her and the guy she dumped you for. Thats the consequences she had to pay/ I have a little bit of a similar experience in that my last relationship was LDR and it ended in disaster. I had planned to move finally out to the East Coast only tio discover when I got there that my GF had cheated on me and had a guy living with her...lol. Needless to say I drove back to Chicago cursing her name. I went NC and after 14 months I get a drunken text message in the middle of the night from her reading "I'm sorry I hurt you...HE JUST GOT TO ME!" I was never one for a ton of social sites but after I did join Tagged last year she showed up like Rasputin. But of course never attempting to contact me or send me a message Id have never known it but Tagged allows you to see who's been looking at your profile. and it was constantly HER. I just ignored her and 2 years on I am pretty happy being single. She still looks at my profile but thats ok...she can now wonder all she wants about what could have been. At any rate even this much time down the road, if she really wants to say something she will. But you are better off just ignoring her.
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