kis Posted November 9, 2009 Posted November 9, 2009 I have been involved in an emotional affiar for a while now. I have never been in this situation before and believed it is because this man and I just had an special chemistry between us and it was impossible for me to resist. He was very good at making me feel special. That has changed recently because i have reason to believe I am not the only woman he is having this type of relationship with. Also from putting different conversations together here and there have come to realize that he has had these type of relationships in the past. Several I am afraid. I hate to admit it but I not long ago wanted this to become a physical affiar. He is the one that was afraid to take it to the next level. We are both Married. I would think that it would usually be the women. Can someone else in an EA please share with me who decided in your relationship not to be physical. The more I piece together bits of information the more I think this is a pattern with him. He has told me of women in the past trying to get him to meet them somewhere private and he would not do it. I dont think they would have asked him if he had not led them on. This all seems strange to me. Any ideas?
In_Repair Posted November 9, 2009 Posted November 9, 2009 He is either looking for an ego boost, or he is simply trying to satisfy emotional needs that his wife does not fulfill. Men who have bitchy wives usually go this route. They can be the man in charge for a woman on the side, but still go home to their bitchy and emotionally distant, but otherwise "perfect", wives. Some have sex to keep the fantasy going in their OW's minds, some cut ties and move on at that point. It's not about him wanting you, his payoff is knowing that you want him. One thing to also consider is that he might be sexually dysfunctional. Maybe that is the underlying reason for the problems between him and his wife, and also the explanation for him never making the leap from EA to PA. He uses OW to make himself feel desired.
1Angel Posted November 9, 2009 Posted November 9, 2009 Do you really believe that other women are asking him to meet and he's not agreeing to free sex? It's possible but not likely. If he's seeing other women for ego boost, you don't want him. It's also possible his W is not as bad as he leads you to believe, not bitchy but he has such low self esteem he seeks out any female willing to give him the time of day to boost his ego. His well run so deep for validation that W could never fill it, which is why he seeks out all this extra attention. Kis ask yourself if you really want this man. From what you write he's a player and OW/MM relationship you won't be of feel special but another notch for his self esteem. If you want to take it physical or keep the EA going decide now before you get in any deeper than you already are. If not it's not too late to stop this right now and turn it around, put energy into your marriage. Your call.
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