jbm889 Posted November 8, 2009 Posted November 8, 2009 If anyone is able to help me sort through this mess I would greatly appreciate it. Sometimes it's too hard to talk to family, friends about everything involved in a break up... I've been with the same guy for the past 8 years we started dating when I was 17 and have been together ever since.Yea I know what you’re thinking why haven't we gotten married? Good question, but that's only scratching the surface. We've been living together for 7 out of the 8 years and I would describe our relationship as uneventful. We rarely fight b/c I just put up with it and feel like there is no point he's going to get his way regardless. Throughout the entire relationship I've always felt I'm working to please someone, or trying to make someone just a little happier but it never works. Somehow I've become responsible for paying for the 100% of the mortgage, groceries, and we split the utilities. I'm also completely responsible for maintaining the home cleaning, laundry, painting, yardwork, washing cars, anything and everything... It's been this way for about 51/2 years now. How it got this out of control for so long and I didn't even notice is beyond me. The dynamic of our relationship isn't the best either. I'm really attractive, in great shape, successful 25 year old and he never compliments me, hugs me, or even wants to... ya know with me. I almost get the sense he's jealous of me is some strange way and wants to withhold any attention or love from me. Oh yea and he hasn't bought me a gift for any Holliday in over 6 years. Even though I give him specific instructions on what he could do and keep the budget under 15 bucks. I don't mean to bad mouth him he's a very nice, smart, and trustworthy guy. But I don't know if we're compatible, he likes to sit on the couch while I go for a run. He likes movies on a Friday, while I would rather have a few beers and watch a fball game or meet up with friends for dinner. He always refuses to go with me on family vacations, even though my family is pretty cool.. Ok by cool I mean they aren't so crazy they should bother him.ha we’ve been on one, 2 day vacation in the past 8 years and it sucked... We had absolutely no fun even though I really tried he just couldn't let himself let go and enjoy himself. I've tried to throw parties since I bought the house; he always creates issues that prevent it from happening.. I really feel like he just wants to isolate me. This is really crazy because I’m very direct and outgoing in the work place and in most situations except when it comes to him. Here’s the dilemma 5 months ago I started a new job and loved it. The new job made me so happy at work I realized there was something majorly wrong with the dynamic at home(shocking right:). I brought these issues to his attention and told him I wanted to break up and didn't think things would work out. I asked him to leave my house, since I solely own it and he's giving me a very hard time. He pleaded with me a begged, basically made my life miserable until I gave in and told him he could have a second chance. Here we are today, exactly 5 months later and not much has changed... I told him again I want him to get out of my house, and told him he has 30 days to find somewhere and I was going to live with my parents to make things easier for him. He’s begging me to go to counseling with me but I don’t see why we need to do that. I gave him 5 months he hasn’t paid any bills, done anything to make more money, and barely anymore around the house. What do I do It’s been 8 years should I give him another shot or cut my losses and run?
ElChup Posted November 8, 2009 Posted November 8, 2009 Why is he not paying his way for so long? If it were short term through a job loss or something then I'd say don't give hima hard time, but what reasons does he have for so many years to go by without paying?
Author jbm889 Posted November 8, 2009 Author Posted November 8, 2009 We both work in the real estate and sales are slow. But I'm making it and barley able to pay all the bills and may possibly lose my house..He sat on his but the past 2 years and just complained. Things were the same when he was making great money...he never helped as much as he should
GrayClouds Posted November 9, 2009 Posted November 9, 2009 If he is not making money then he is no longer in real estate, he needs to find another job. This is not a loving relationship but a relationship of convenience, his convenience. I would kick him out and find a room mate that can help with the bill and pull some of their own weight.
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